THE INVESTIGATIONS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES

No matter how hard the Fwee-dumb Kawkuss Kwazies, er, I mean the House Republican Caucus pushes to get the inevitable impeachment of Joe Biden that Quiverin’ Qevin peromised them in return for letting him ascend to the position of House Speaker In Name Only, the show trial keeps getting kicked down the road, frustrating the unreconstructed Confederates who are ever so eager to retaliate for the very different, very evidence-filled prosecutions and trials of Donald Trump.

Quiverin’ Qevin went on Faux Snooze last Sunday to say that the Sane Republicans need to avert a government shutdown because if they don’t Kwayzee Kaucus might not be able to move forward with the various Biden cock and bull stories, er, I mean “investigations” to get on with their impeachment inquiry.

Quiverin’ Qevin’s ask is getting smaller and smaller: “I would actually like to have a short term CR (continuing resolution), only to make our argument stronger,” McCarthy told host Maria Bartiromo. “Because, Maria, if we shut down, all the government shuts it down—investigation and everything else. It hurts the American public.”

Sorry Qevin, but even some dumbass Oklafornian from Bakersfield must have a brain cell or two that would like to point out that it’s the Clown Car Revue you call a “Republican Caucus” that hurts the American public. With every breath you scumbag traitors take.

The Quiverin’ One wants to hold up the possibility of advancing the impeachment kabuki project to get the Confederacy, er, I mean the Fweedumb Kawkussas to stop obstructing the process of funding the government, and then use their committee power to go after the president and his son.

The trouble is, as dumb as they are, the Fwee-dumb Confederates are smarter that Qevin. His ploy was so obvious that Montana whackjob Rep. Matt Rosendale told a different Faux Snooze interviewer that the dumbasses, er, I mean the Confederates, “are not going to be distracted by a shiny object. ‘If you don’t get this continuing resolution passed, we won’t be able to pursue the impeachment inquiry.’ That’s nonsense.”

The rest of the Confederate Traitors in Washington, aka the DC MAGAt-verse (that’s pronounced “maggot”) are also eager for a shutdown. The Conservative Action Project wants the Fwee-Dummerers to provoke a shutdown to prevent passage of more spending bills. It was signed by the Kolleckshun of Klucks, er, I mean “prominent right-wing operatives and activists” like Conservative Partnership Institute Chairman Jim DeMint, Citizens United President Dave Bossie, Family Research Council President Tony Perkins, and others. I am sure they won’t be worrying at all about FEMA running out of money in the middle of hurricane season, when it’s all Red States that get hit by hurricanes. If these people had a collective single-digit IQ, I’d be amazed; it’s unsurprising that they’re all from the South, where we know ten generations of Southern “inbreeding” has removed the brains of the unreconstructed Confederates.

But like the blind squierrel that still finds the acorn, Quiverin’ Qevin is indeed correct that a shutdown would halt all business, including investigations and impeachment-related activities.

In terms of their own priorities, the Fwee-Dumberers and their co-conspirators are eager to rob Peter to pay Paul. They have never been particularly good at big picture stuff. Or math. Or constituent service.

To make Qevin’s job harder, those 18 Republicans who occupy seats in districts Biden won in 2020 - the more vulnerable members of the party more likely to be retired congresscritters in January 2025 - aren’t sold on impeachment. There are the people who can see that Jngle Gym, Jim “hit ‘em again harder” Comer and Marjorie Traitor Goon have so far turned up exactly nothing in the “investigations” to date, with most of the evidence proving that no crimes have been committed by President Biden himself, despite Hunter Biden’s legal problems. This despite Comer (is he still hitting his girlfriends?) claiming that his gong show masquerading as an investigation is the cause of Biden’s dropping poll numbers. There are only so many times the mask can be ripped off before it doesn’t fool anybody anymore.

The most diehard MAGAts in the Republican Clown Car continue to trip over their shoelaces and step the rakes known as actual facts, and each screwup creates new problems for them and puts off potential allies.

But these Klucks are persistent Klucks, and those setbacks don’t mean it still won’t happen. And that will be the big rake that leaves all of these droolers with both eyes black. The fact they know this is seen in Quiverin’ Qevin’s statement that perhaps they don’t need a vote in the House to proceed with the investigation. It’s a vote even a dumbass from Bakersfield knows they will lose.

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