HOW INSANE ARE THE HOUSE REPUBLICANS? (UPDATED)

Let me count the ways...

Silly me, I used to think there was an intellectual floor below which a hairless biped couldn’t descend without losing membership in the species.

MAGA, and particularly the House Republicans - including those who claim not to be MAGA and instead claim membership as “traditional” “moderate” Republicans - have clearly demonstrated now that there is no bottom and the lower they go, the more success they enjoy.

The truth is, the MAGA Goobers and Hayshakers who vote for them have collectively lost their minds, the result of 40 years of Rush Limpdick, Newt Gingrich, and the otherwise-unemployables at Faux Snooze, coupled with the fact that the old boomers who make up the majority of these idiots were the morons we remember them as back in high school.

One might think that the exposure of the “star whistleblower” against Hunter Biden - Gal Luft - who turned out to be an unregistered foreign agent for China, and was federally indicted for that as well as trafficking arms, breaking international sanctions, and making false statements to federal officials (according to the DOJ, Luft faces a collective 100 years in the sneezer for all this), and is now a fugitive from justice, might lead at least some Republicans to go out on a limb and consider the idea that his “compromising information” on President Joe Biden and his son might be something in the same class with “making false statements to federal officials.”

One, however, would be mistaken.

Nope, in the face of all that, Jungle Gym Jordan, looking furious and appearing jacketless as usual (to demonstrate how hard he’s “workin’ fer yew”), engaged in a contest to see which MAGAt on the sub-committee was Dumbest of the Day. While he accused the FBI of “suppressing American speech, of course, conservative speech in particular. I find it stunning.” (Stunning is a word for it, also “amazing,” “incredible,” and “beyond belief,” which it actually is), he faced serious competition from the newest bimbo airhead in the caucus, Harriet Hageman - who demonstrated she knows which side the Republican bread is buttered on by going from a Cruz-supporting “anti-Trumper” in 2016 to annointed-by-Trump-himself slayer of RINO Liz Cheney in 2022 - who accused lifelong conservative Republican and Federalist Society Trump–appointed FBI director Christopher Wray of having “personally worked to weaponize the FBI against conservatives.” Wray, incredulous, reminded the clowns of his résumé, replying,. “The idea that I’m biased against conservatives seems somewhat insane to me, given my own personal background.” While that put Hageman in serious competition for the prize, the ever-reliably moronic Permanent Fraternity Freddie - professional alligator-bait Matt Gaetz - managed once again to keep the prize by telling Wray he was “blissfully ignorant as to the Biden shakedown regime,” going on to truly hit the top with “people trusted the FBI more when J. Edgar Hoover was running the place.” Wray’s reply that there has been an increase in the number of Floridians applying for employment by the bureau in the past two years went straight past an unfazed Gaetz. Gaetz’s fellow proof that the term “airheaded bimbo” applies to both genders - Troy Nehls - won the Close But No Cigar consolation prize for bringing up the right-wing conspiracy theory that January 6 rioter Ray Epps was an FBI plant sent into the insurrection to discredit Trump. Nehls missed the memo about how Epps is currently suing Faux Snooze after Tucker Carlson spread this conspiracy theory. So - close but no cigar.

This was all topped by Quiverin’ Qevin (R-Oklafornia) publicly declaring that of course Luft was a valuable witness since he was obviously being “hounded” for being a conservative and telling the truth so fearlessly, which he topped to become Dumbest Fucking Moron Ever by allowing the Compleat Idiots to make a smash-and-grab of the National Defense Authorization Act, filling it with amendments to limit abortion access, transgender care and diversity training for military personnel, along with cancellation of any and all attempts on the part of the Pentagon to deal with the “Chinese Hoax” regarding climate change, and denying the service academies the authority to maintain “affirmative action” programs in recruiting cadets (despite MAGA’s favorite Unsupreme Court specifically exempting these programs from their destruction of affirmative action in the rest of higher education). The bill, filled with partisan poison pills representing all the far right dog whistles, passed by a completely-partisan vote of 219 to 210 and has less likelihood of emerging from the Senate with any of this garbage still in it than anything else these dumbasses have passed this year - thus setting up Step One on the Rush to Government Shutdown on October 30. McQarthy is obviously desperate to win the 2023 Republican Leadership Award.

Democrat Eric Swalwell has it right: “Typically the Speaker of the House sets a party’s agenda in Congress. But there is no functional leader of the House Republican Party. Instead, it’s made up of an ensemble cast of chaos agents providing a comedy of errors each week Congress is in session.”

This last act of Moron Ignorance has allowed Democrats to now point out that even the supposed moderates in the GOP are completely crazy. Among the Republicans who voted for this fakakte are the five Republican lawmakers - Anthony D’Esposito, Nick LaLota, Mike Lawler, Marcus Molinaro, and George Santos - currently occupying moderate New York congressional seats, who one might think would want to keep up appearances to snooker the suburbanites again next year.

Dan Goldman laid out the Democrat’s strategy for dealing with these geniuses: “We’re going to wrap this vote around their necks from now to November 2024.”

Demonstrating that they are not only willing to double down after emerging from a hearing with creamed shit all over their faces, but will triple down to show how “serious” they are, Jungle Gym came back this week with another Biden hearing featuring two IRS “whistleblowers” who have both been shown to be liars; unsurprisingly that went nowhere after the “whistleblowers” were exposed.

This will be topped Thursday, when Compleat Nut Case Robert F. Kennedy Jr. comes before the committee to testify about how he is fighting All The Media who are conspiring to keep him from Telling Americans The Truth about how COVID was designed to only harm black and white Americans, leaving the Chinese and - wait for it - Da Jooz - safe to continue conspiring with each other for world domination and the destruction of The Great White Race.

Every week is another episode of “Veep,” or “Yes, Minister,” without anyone in the cast to root for and nothing to laugh at. You hope they might be reaching the bottom of the barrel when Ted Cruz identifies a scene in “Barbie” as “Chinese communist propaganda,” but that’s just The Senator Most Hated By Other Senators flailing away at remaining in the headlines.

Of course, the Topper of All happened this past weekend, when The Dumbest Airheaded Bimbo Of All, Marjorie Traitor Goon, went to the Nuremberg Rally at the Star Wars Cantina, er, I mean the Turning Points hatealong, to let everyone know she had just learned that both FDR and LBJ were guilty of promoting “programs to address education, medical care, urban problems, rural poverty, transportation, Medicare, Medicaid, labor unions” in the New Deal and Great Society, and that Joe Biden “is actually finishing what FDR started, that LBJ expanded on.”

And she was applauded by the newest residents of the MAGA Star Wars Cantina, whose understanding of anything meant they had just learned these Amazing Facts from Ms. Goon.

This was such an Own Goal that the Biden campaign couldn’t help themselves, tweeting that indeed they were “busted” and were in fact guilty of standing for “programs to address education, medical care, urban problems, rural poverty, transportation, Medicare, Medicaid, labor unions.”

Ritchie Torres nails it: “No one or nothing in America is safe from the sheer stupidity of modern Republican politics.”

UPDATE: (From TPM) In case you needed any further evidence for the complete collapse of integrity, morality and decency among the House Republicans, consider the actions this afternoon of Tom Cole, self-advertised “sane”, decent,” “conservative with integrity” who this afternoon introduced an amendment to the HELP appropriations bill to strip funding from Democratic earmarks that would support LGBTQ+ issues. The earmarks House Republicans stripped funding from — a total of $3.62 million — were for three housing projects, two in Massachusetts and one in Pennsylvania, that would benefit members of the LGBTQ+ community.

The two projects in Philadelphia — requested by Reps. Brendan Boyle (D-PA) and Chrissy Houlahan (D-PA) — were for the expansion of William Way Community Center LGBT Community Center and a transitional housing program at the LGBT Center of Greater Reading. The third earmark was requested by Rep. Ayanna Pressley (D-MA) for the LGBTQ Senior Housing Inc., to convert a former Boston Public School building into 74 units of affordable housing for seniors.

The move to strike three LGBTQ+ focused projects from the 2024 markup is yet another example of House Republicans’ targeting the supposedly “woke” priorities of Democrats, derailing the usual rhythms of legislating on Capitol Hill in an attempt to own the liberals they love to hate on.

Among the most outspoken defenders of the amendment was former Trump administration Interior Secretary Rep. Ryan Zinke (R-MT).

“In all the two years that I dealt and this committee dealt with community projects, never once, never once did we challenge any Republican project,” Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-CT), the ranking Democrat on the panel, said in response to the cuts. “We said, you do what you want to do and we do what we want. And that has been destroyed today.”

THERE ARE NO “GOOD” REPUBLICANS LEFT.

You really do need an IQ lower than ambient room temperature to join this circus.

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