The other day I wasn't sure I deserved credit for a bon mot, but I do for this one. For years, I have referred to Newton Leroy Gingrich as The Pillsbury Doughnazi. All are welcome to use it.
Let us not leave out that today, Jamie Raskin did a triple taradiddle on these idiots, as usual.
Gingrich is proof that "You can take the boy out of the trailer park (where he was raised) but it's hard to take the trailer park out of the boy."
Gingrich began his political activism as a "liberal" Republican, supporting Nelson Rockefeller. When he realized - through failure - that that wasn't what was wanted, he became a "conservative."
I know Bill Maher is about to get shitcanned and he's gotten old and stale, but, back in the day, he was good. "If Newt hates him, he's probably a divorce lawyer (or Bill)." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5HxUeoQa8s&t=73s
I read somewhere that the Newt still owes a huge amount of money for his last ??? campaign! If I can find this little jewel, will post it. But I believe his"last" campaign was many many years ago.
My favorite thing in all this was when Biden quoted MTG in her rant about Biden being the new FDR and LBJ and all he was doing to further their programs, and said "I approve this message."
These folks, if that is what they are, are recording soundbytes for the hapless and unknowing, to put on their fundraising sites so they can lie their way back into congress in 2024. Talk about cynical. I cannot imagine how any of them look at themselves in the morning - oh yeah - maybe the mirror shows no reflection. Hm...
if you're suggesting that they're vampires, I could protest that 1) vampires are, at the very least, competent at surviving under significant odds and 2) I'm sure there are some very fine vampires.
Laughing heartily, David! No. It is the blood sucking and the life taking that I was considering. And then turning of life into the walking dead. Kind of like the poor russians who have no idea between truth and lies. Some of our population is not so far from being in the same position.
This is the TC I love and admire, pulling no punches, etching the aether with his acerbic wit. A grand summation. How about that walking talking punchline, Empty Gangrene?
I thought of the gang in in here when I had a chuckle at a joke a few days ago.
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God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel found him, resting, on the seventh day. He inquired, "Where have you been?" God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."
"Balance?" Inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things." God continued pointing to different countries "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
"That's Washington State, one of the most glorious places on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace and producers of software."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God smiled, "There's another Washington. Wait till you see the idiots I put there”.
Foreign adversaries used to keep the US on its toes and moving in the direction of a more perfect union because that's how we've protected ourselves--through unity of purpose as long as the purpose was noble. The preening MAGA clucks you've cited herein have no definable purpose much less any nobility. They throw bombs without any real aim. I don't think even "owning the libs" is any longer a goal. They are mindless, like people at a rave who are merely caught up in the headiness of the noise, the seizure-inducing knives of light, and the psychedelia of their own hate-churned body chemistry. It is simply a collective mania that can no longer be modulated, (And that, boys and girls, is why Putin, Kim, and Xi have those inscrutable smiles.)
You are on a roll in this post TC. Every sentence has a zinger and your way with descriptions and nicknames is stellar! You nailed it. I hate to say I enjoyed it because what you’ve reported is so dreadful. Like you keep saying…how can they possibly go any lower. And yet they do…I wish it was fiction. Thank you for your writing.
Tom -- you of the enormously amusing name reworkings (Qwiverin' Qevin, Jungle Jim, Marjorie Traitor Goon, et al.) have yet to come up with something for Newt. But then, what could be more apt than to be named after a slithering, often toxic, critter than can lose a limb (or soul) and somehow grow a replacement (even in The Newt's case, a pretend soul).
I love it when you get really wound up. You are a veritable professor of metaphor and simile. Which is why I was surprised when I didn’t see a sobriquet for Mr. Gingrich. But then it occurred to me that being named for a poisonous miniature salamander is sobriquet enough.
"....the old boomers who make up the majority of these idiots were the morons we remember them as back in high school." << Oh, this is so incredibly true.... Great letter, TC!
That is exactly what democrats need to do: tie up all this time wasting, fantastical, stupid, cruel, bullshit in a giant bag and hang it around the neck of every republican running in 2024. The rope used to hang it around their neck should have fluorescent pink paint with the words "We overturned Roe! We hate women!"
I haven't laughed this much in a loooooong time. But it is also a sad laugh---because these people are idiots, elected by idiots (anyone one, whatever IQ, who goes for this idiocy is an idiot, imho), and are attempting to trash this Nation.
just read about that near-fistfight between McCarthy and Smallwell. I hate to admit it, but I love this shit. let's remember that violence on the floor of Congress is just about as old as Congress. my money'd be on Smallwell, since Kevin strikes me as the kid who could always be counted on to surrender his lunch money to whichever first-time bully decided to practice on him. certainly, after Kevin's idle threat, it was Smallwell who stood his ground.
I'm more than a little ambivalent about the whole notion of using "pussy" as an insult, however. this is neither the right time nor place for my reasons, which should be perfectly obvious anyway.
and anybody who attended junior high school knows that the really SCARY fights are the ones between girls. they really try to HURT each other. obviously (allowing my friends here to get a real look at the ugliness of my soul), the one I'm waiting for is the match between MTG and Boobert...pulled earrings, fistfuls of hair....okay, if it's this much fun, I'd better stop.
I think the original source was Politico, but Google should get you there. when the House censured Schiff, Smallwell (am I spelling his name right?) faced McCarthy and said he was "weak." McCarthy stared at him. next day, Smalwell was on his way to the bathroom and McCarthy got in the way and said the next time Smallwell talked to him like that, McCarthy would "kick the shit" out of him. either in the same confrontation or the next day, McCarthy was blocking Smalwell or staring or something and Smallwell called him a "pussy." McCarthy challenged him to say it again and he'd "see what'll happen" and Swalwell said "You. Are. A. Pussy." there was more staring or something and McCarthy let him pass. but witnesses said it looked like they were gonna really throw down. who would you bet on, Tom?
The Vietnam dislike of Barbie is over a territorial dispute. Sadly for Cruz, Vietnam is also Communist. So being "pro Vietnam" on the issue is well, being pro a different Communism. Nice choice there, Ted.
The other day I wasn't sure I deserved credit for a bon mot, but I do for this one. For years, I have referred to Newton Leroy Gingrich as The Pillsbury Doughnazi. All are welcome to use it.
Let us not leave out that today, Jamie Raskin did a triple taradiddle on these idiots, as usual.
Gingrich is proof that "You can take the boy out of the trailer park (where he was raised) but it's hard to take the trailer park out of the boy."
Gingrich began his political activism as a "liberal" Republican, supporting Nelson Rockefeller. When he realized - through failure - that that wasn't what was wanted, he became a "conservative."
I actually didn't know that. it only makes him that much more contemptible.
He must be a liberal of the RFKJr stripe, or little Joe Lieberman. All together, they don’t have one brain…
Newton Leroy Gingrich as The Pillsbury Doughnazi.
Once in a while, the right words animate the moment. You found them for the inedible Gingrich as if by magic. Thank you Magician Michael Green
I know Bill Maher is about to get shitcanned and he's gotten old and stale, but, back in the day, he was good. "If Newt hates him, he's probably a divorce lawyer (or Bill)." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5HxUeoQa8s&t=73s
Good riddance.
I read somewhere that the Newt still owes a huge amount of money for his last ??? campaign! If I can find this little jewel, will post it. But I believe his"last" campaign was many many years ago.
Like 30 years ago.
MANY years ago!! Tells you somethng about good old Newt.
2012.
And how many of us could just put off a debt like that for that long?
Sort of like school tuition debt, hahaha
My favorite thing in all this was when Biden quoted MTG in her rant about Biden being the new FDR and LBJ and all he was doing to further their programs, and said "I approve this message."
unfortunately, she's almost certainly stupid enough to not get the joke.
Bruce, I agree.
MTG probably had no clue that she's now working for the White House too.
It would require her to have a brain, which in her case is "a fact not in evidence."
Excellent essay again! And, I’d be remiss without mentioning the brilliance of “Rush Limpdick.” 🤣
He was caught taking a large supply of Viagra with him to a "sexcation" in the Dominican Republic.
Oh, eeeyew. Now I have a mental picture of the supremely unsexy Rush with his secret supply of little blue pills..............blech!
actually, they're rather large blue pills.
or so I've heard.
that was a pharmaceutical joke.
I have always believed it was a cruel trick of fate that Viagra was not developed by Upjohn - it would have been so perfect.....
I laughed out loud.
Made My Day!!
That fact makes your name for him even better 😂
I will remember, and steal, that one
These folks, if that is what they are, are recording soundbytes for the hapless and unknowing, to put on their fundraising sites so they can lie their way back into congress in 2024. Talk about cynical. I cannot imagine how any of them look at themselves in the morning - oh yeah - maybe the mirror shows no reflection. Hm...
if you're suggesting that they're vampires, I could protest that 1) vampires are, at the very least, competent at surviving under significant odds and 2) I'm sure there are some very fine vampires.
Laughing heartily, David! No. It is the blood sucking and the life taking that I was considering. And then turning of life into the walking dead. Kind of like the poor russians who have no idea between truth and lies. Some of our population is not so far from being in the same position.
Morality vampires. Gaining emotional sustenance from others suffering.
Perverse isn't it?
you're correct in every particular, Linda.
I was actually just trying to make Tom Laugh Out Loud.
This is the TC I love and admire, pulling no punches, etching the aether with his acerbic wit. A grand summation. How about that walking talking punchline, Empty Gangrene?
I thought of the gang in in here when I had a chuckle at a joke a few days ago.
------------------------------
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel found him, resting, on the seventh day. He inquired, "Where have you been?" God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."
"Balance?" Inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things." God continued pointing to different countries "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
"That's Washington State, one of the most glorious places on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace and producers of software."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God smiled, "There's another Washington. Wait till you see the idiots I put there”.
------------------------------
Love the joke!!!!
Foreign adversaries used to keep the US on its toes and moving in the direction of a more perfect union because that's how we've protected ourselves--through unity of purpose as long as the purpose was noble. The preening MAGA clucks you've cited herein have no definable purpose much less any nobility. They throw bombs without any real aim. I don't think even "owning the libs" is any longer a goal. They are mindless, like people at a rave who are merely caught up in the headiness of the noise, the seizure-inducing knives of light, and the psychedelia of their own hate-churned body chemistry. It is simply a collective mania that can no longer be modulated, (And that, boys and girls, is why Putin, Kim, and Xi have those inscrutable smiles.)
Well said, Judith.
“Owning the libs” is still a show-stopper in Texas
You are on a roll in this post TC. Every sentence has a zinger and your way with descriptions and nicknames is stellar! You nailed it. I hate to say I enjoyed it because what you’ve reported is so dreadful. Like you keep saying…how can they possibly go any lower. And yet they do…I wish it was fiction. Thank you for your writing.
Been looking for a low for low these many years.
Tom -- you of the enormously amusing name reworkings (Qwiverin' Qevin, Jungle Jim, Marjorie Traitor Goon, et al.) have yet to come up with something for Newt. But then, what could be more apt than to be named after a slithering, often toxic, critter than can lose a limb (or soul) and somehow grow a replacement (even in The Newt's case, a pretend soul).
Newt's his own nickname.
I love it when you get really wound up. You are a veritable professor of metaphor and simile. Which is why I was surprised when I didn’t see a sobriquet for Mr. Gingrich. But then it occurred to me that being named for a poisonous miniature salamander is sobriquet enough.
I beat ya to it but you get extra points for using sobriquet.
"....the old boomers who make up the majority of these idiots were the morons we remember them as back in high school." << Oh, this is so incredibly true.... Great letter, TC!
Chef's kiss TC. 😁
That is exactly what democrats need to do: tie up all this time wasting, fantastical, stupid, cruel, bullshit in a giant bag and hang it around the neck of every republican running in 2024. The rope used to hang it around their neck should have fluorescent pink paint with the words "We overturned Roe! We hate women!"
I haven't laughed this much in a loooooong time. But it is also a sad laugh---because these people are idiots, elected by idiots (anyone one, whatever IQ, who goes for this idiocy is an idiot, imho), and are attempting to trash this Nation.
Rethugs, that's what I call them. If they use the moniker 'Democrat' as a slur, then we need to use it.
just read about that near-fistfight between McCarthy and Smallwell. I hate to admit it, but I love this shit. let's remember that violence on the floor of Congress is just about as old as Congress. my money'd be on Smallwell, since Kevin strikes me as the kid who could always be counted on to surrender his lunch money to whichever first-time bully decided to practice on him. certainly, after Kevin's idle threat, it was Smallwell who stood his ground.
I'm more than a little ambivalent about the whole notion of using "pussy" as an insult, however. this is neither the right time nor place for my reasons, which should be perfectly obvious anyway.
and anybody who attended junior high school knows that the really SCARY fights are the ones between girls. they really try to HURT each other. obviously (allowing my friends here to get a real look at the ugliness of my soul), the one I'm waiting for is the match between MTG and Boobert...pulled earrings, fistfuls of hair....okay, if it's this much fun, I'd better stop.
Swallwell.
I just climbed out of the time machine that had me back on Sicily in 1943 today. What is this fight business?
OK - just looked it up. McCarthy IS what Swallwell called him.
I think the original source was Politico, but Google should get you there. when the House censured Schiff, Smallwell (am I spelling his name right?) faced McCarthy and said he was "weak." McCarthy stared at him. next day, Smalwell was on his way to the bathroom and McCarthy got in the way and said the next time Smallwell talked to him like that, McCarthy would "kick the shit" out of him. either in the same confrontation or the next day, McCarthy was blocking Smalwell or staring or something and Smallwell called him a "pussy." McCarthy challenged him to say it again and he'd "see what'll happen" and Swalwell said "You. Are. A. Pussy." there was more staring or something and McCarthy let him pass. but witnesses said it looked like they were gonna really throw down. who would you bet on, Tom?
The Vietnam dislike of Barbie is over a territorial dispute. Sadly for Cruz, Vietnam is also Communist. So being "pro Vietnam" on the issue is well, being pro a different Communism. Nice choice there, Ted.
Insane?....or, brainlessly growing desperate?
Love the Biden checkmate on the truly ignorant MTG.
Great read, TC. Thanks