AFTER LEWISTON, "SPEAKER" JOHNSON DEFENDS 2ND AMENDMENT

In the wake of the worst mass shooting of the 529 mass shootings that have occurred to date in 2023, an event in which 18 people were murdered in 30 minutes in a state where the annual murder count for all of 2022 was 29 murders,Speaker “MAGA Mike” Johnson went on Faux Snooze tonight to voice his concerns regarding that event.

According to “MAGA Mike” the problem is not that people with known mental health issues can purchase a weapon the sole pupose of which is to kill as many people as possible in the shortest time, and to inflict life-altering wounds with a “tumbling” bullet that makes a larger exit wound than it does an entry wound. The problem is not a “permitless carry” state where anyone can carry any weapon they wish without a permit, without having to take any training on how to wield such a weapon safely. The problem is not a state legislature’s refusal to pass a red flag law that would allow authorities to remove the weapons of an individual deemed a threat to themself and others.

No. None of those are the problem.

Today, following the worst mass shooting of 2023, MAGA Mike offered prayer as a response to a mass shooting that killed 18 and injured 13 others in 30 minutes.

In his first full day as speaker, MAGA Mike told reporters at the Capitol that the shooting late Wednesday was a “horrific tragedy.”

“This is a dark time in America. We have a lot of problems, and we are hopeful and prayerful. Prayer is appropriate at a time like this, that this senseless violence can stop.”

Before MAGA Mike became Speaker with the votes of 30 “moderates” who opposed the election of Jungle Gym Jordan to that post, MAGA Mike Johnson, who has opposed gun control measures for years, including a measure passed into law last year to beef up criminal background checks for those under age 21 for the next decade, create grants for state crisis intervention laws and provide several billion dollars in mental health and school security funding - measures that might have prevented last night. During floor debate on that measure, Konztitooshinual Skolar MAGA mIKE criticized the legislation as unconstitutional and reiterated many statements he made on a podcast with his wife blaming America’s violent crime problem on a lack of faith.

“America’s problem is not guns. America’s problem is a heart problem,” MAGA Mike declared during the floor debate.

Tonight on Faux Snooze, MAGA Mike reiterated that the gun problem in America is not that there are too many motherfucking pieces of southern-fried fundamentalist shit enemies of America like him that the inbred southern white Confederate dumbasses continually vote into office.

No. That’s not the problem.

“America has a heart problem,” MAGA Mike declared once again. And of course, “Now, when so many are so upset, this is a time to insure we do nothing to harm the Second Amendment, which is so important to the preservation of liberty.”

I’ve tried. I really have. I’ve advocated education. I’ve advocated engagement. I’ve advocated taking whatever steps we can.

No. Fucking. More.

I am now officially praying for MAGA Mike Johnson. I pray that he and his worthless scum wife are found, sooner rather than later, face down in a dark alley, bleeding out from a large caliber exit wound.

And I pray the same thing for every one of the motherfucking pieces of shit masquerading as Americans in the House Republican Caucus. Every. Damn. One. MAGAts. “Moderates.” The lot of them. All the Fundamentalist enemies of America.

I’m personally in favor of taking the gun nut’s guns from their cold dead hands.

After making them cold and dead.

I am So. Fucking. Over. with trying to understand these malicious, malevolent, mendacious, ignorant, worthless pieces of shit.

Fuck them and fuck their ignorant worthless “religion” and every goddamned other thing about them.

And if anyone doesn’t like this, you came to the Wong Foo King Substack.

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