Herewith a bit of amusement for your weekend pleasure.
It turns out that the recent “incursion” by the Army Corps of Engineers 12th Faucet Brigade has caused more trouble than it solved.
The release of massive amounts of water from two California dams now has local (Republican-voting) farmers scrambling to preserve precious freshwater resources needed for dry summer months.
The Army Corps of Engineers - acting on Unpresident Dimbulb’s orders - released water from the Terminus Dam at Lake Kaweah and the Schafer Dam at Lake Success, which are both in Tulare County in the San Joaquin Valley.
Whereas water was originally flowing from the Terminus Dam at 57 cubic feet per second , it's now reportedly flowing at more than 1,500 cfs.
The flow from Lake Success went from 105 cfs to 990 cfs as of Friday morning.
In a post to his official Xitter (that’s pronouncded “shitter”) account, the White House occupier tweeted a "photo of beautiful water flow that I just opened in California," writing: "Today, 1.6 billion gallons and, in 3 days, it will be 5.2 billion gallons."
"Everybody should be happy about this long fought Victory! I only wish they listened to me six years ago – There would have been no fire!"
He suggested that the water release would help officials in the Golden State fight wildfires in Southern California - which were reported at 100% containment as of Friday.
Army Corps of Engineers spokesperson Gene Pawlik confirmed that the release of water from the dams was done "to ensure California has water available to respond to the wildfires." He added that the water release was "consistent with the direction" of Dimbulb’s January 24 executive order announcing "emergency measures to provide water resources in California."
However, water managers in Tulare County told Bakersfield, California-based news site SJV Water, which covers water issues in the San Joaquin Valley, that there are multiple physical and legal barriers that prevent the valley's water from getting to Southern California. SJV Water reported that the water would have to be "pumped at great expense" across the valley to the California Aqueduct, where it would still need to travel hundreds of miles to make it to the Los Angeles area.
“Every drop belongs to someone,” Kaweah River Watermaster Victor Hernandez told SJV Water. “The reservoir may belong to the federal government, but the water is ours. If someone’s playing political games with this water, it’s wrong.”
As John Kelly recalled, “Donald Trump was the most determined ignoramus I ever met in my life.”
Or as the Wharton professor, whose class DonnieDumbfuck was allowed to AUDIT because he was too fucking stupid to get grades that would meet the then-low entrance requirements to that school back then, recalled: “Donald Trump was the dumbest fucking student who ever walked into my classroom.”
Some. Things. Never. Change.
Hopefully this amusing look at the World’s Dumbest Fuckup will be the last report of the day, but you never know. He can fuck up and screw the pooch at any moment. And when he does, I will be here to report it to you. Doing that job needs your support as a paid subscriber. It’s only $7/month or $70/year.
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Oh, let’s ask what crops are grown in the Central Valley: “The Central Valley grows an incredible diversity of crops – about 250 – which comprises a third of the nation’s fruits and vegetables. You’ll find citrus, sweet potatoes, table grapes, kiwis, figs, olives, wine grapes, prunes, nuts, cereal grains, hay, cotton, tomatoes and vegetables.” You get a similar answer if you wonder what crops are grown in the Kaweah River area. When prices for produce from California begin to reach stratospheric levels this year, you know who to thank.
The entire planet would be a better place if this idiot were not on it.