I'm so happy for you Tom, that you were able to have a good experience ad understanding with your father and to ensure his wishes at the end. You can live peacefully with that. There are some things in life that we need to make known. I wear a necklace for that purpose. It says do not resuscitate. This way none of my grand children need …
I'm so happy for you Tom, that you were able to have a good experience ad understanding with your father and to ensure his wishes at the end. You can live peacefully with that. There are some things in life that we need to make known. I wear a necklace for that purpose. It says do not resuscitate. This way none of my grand children need to be the one to say pull the plug, it's my life and my decision.
When Jurate was in her final weeks, things got really bad because she had (as she did with too many things as it all worked out) not signed the DNR my lawyer gave her. I had told the caregivers she was DNR (it was a condition of getting help through home hospice), and she told them too. Then Big Sis came down, and the day Jurate was supposed to depart, Big Sis (A committed conservative Catholic) declared she was not DNR and had her taken to the hospital, intubated and the works. She and I had a screaming fit in the hospital hallway when I got over there and found what had been done. She could do this because one other thing Jurate hadn't done until she finally decided to do so when it was too late to avoid intervention by her sisters, was for us to officially marry so I could take care of this stuff. Fortunately, the doctors there managed to convince Big Sis that if there was another attempted intervention, Jurate would likely end up a vegetable. So she signed a DNR, Jurate went back to the hospice, and passed 10 days later.
Anyone reading this should take it as the example you don't want to go through and take steps to insure it doesn't happen to you.
Correct Tom, the necklace or bracelet lets medics, doctors and nurses know; but jewelry can be removed, so I also signed a DNR with Kaiser my insurer, and have let each of my grandchildren know these are my wishes.
My Dad died at age 45. I was 25 then at that was my first experience with the death of someone I truly loved.
I hate funerals, or "celebrations of life". I prefer grieving alone with no public spectacle. So when my second and truly beloved husband died, I had his remains cremated, did not keep the ashes and planned no ceremonies. Also as a non-theist (as was my husband), why did we need to have a funeral service? My mother, who was still alive and living with me, insisted on a service. My mother was so concerned about what would people think, that I gave in and paid for a church service and party.
This was followed in quick succession (2 weeks and 4 months) by the death of my oldest and middle daughters. I paid for my oldest daughter's cremation and attended the celebration of life.
I swore that when I died it would be with no pomp and circumstance. So I have made it very ,very clear that I will not pay for any service for myself. I've already prepaid for my own cremation and informed all relatives that when I'm dead I'm dead, get over it.
As with all my other beliefs and decisions I've told them, this is my personal desire and has nothing to do with them or anyone else. They can do whatever they want with their own corpses, and I certainly won't come back to haunt them.
I'm so happy for you Tom, that you were able to have a good experience ad understanding with your father and to ensure his wishes at the end. You can live peacefully with that. There are some things in life that we need to make known. I wear a necklace for that purpose. It says do not resuscitate. This way none of my grand children need to be the one to say pull the plug, it's my life and my decision.
When Jurate was in her final weeks, things got really bad because she had (as she did with too many things as it all worked out) not signed the DNR my lawyer gave her. I had told the caregivers she was DNR (it was a condition of getting help through home hospice), and she told them too. Then Big Sis came down, and the day Jurate was supposed to depart, Big Sis (A committed conservative Catholic) declared she was not DNR and had her taken to the hospital, intubated and the works. She and I had a screaming fit in the hospital hallway when I got over there and found what had been done. She could do this because one other thing Jurate hadn't done until she finally decided to do so when it was too late to avoid intervention by her sisters, was for us to officially marry so I could take care of this stuff. Fortunately, the doctors there managed to convince Big Sis that if there was another attempted intervention, Jurate would likely end up a vegetable. So she signed a DNR, Jurate went back to the hospice, and passed 10 days later.
Anyone reading this should take it as the example you don't want to go through and take steps to insure it doesn't happen to you.
Correct Tom, the necklace or bracelet lets medics, doctors and nurses know; but jewelry can be removed, so I also signed a DNR with Kaiser my insurer, and have let each of my grandchildren know these are my wishes.
My Dad died at age 45. I was 25 then at that was my first experience with the death of someone I truly loved.
I hate funerals, or "celebrations of life". I prefer grieving alone with no public spectacle. So when my second and truly beloved husband died, I had his remains cremated, did not keep the ashes and planned no ceremonies. Also as a non-theist (as was my husband), why did we need to have a funeral service? My mother, who was still alive and living with me, insisted on a service. My mother was so concerned about what would people think, that I gave in and paid for a church service and party.
This was followed in quick succession (2 weeks and 4 months) by the death of my oldest and middle daughters. I paid for my oldest daughter's cremation and attended the celebration of life.
I swore that when I died it would be with no pomp and circumstance. So I have made it very ,very clear that I will not pay for any service for myself. I've already prepaid for my own cremation and informed all relatives that when I'm dead I'm dead, get over it.
As with all my other beliefs and decisions I've told them, this is my personal desire and has nothing to do with them or anyone else. They can do whatever they want with their own corpses, and I certainly won't come back to haunt them.
Paid for mine too, told my daughter that I will haunt her if she does anything different.
Good for you Jeri
Seemed a no-brainer to me
Righteous intention for one can be so horrid for another. Tell it to anyone who will listen.