THE SHITSTORM IS ENDLESS

There are 272 days to the mid-terms.

This morning on Lies Anti-Social, Sundowning Grampa Befuddlepants wrote, “I have instructed Secretary of Homeland Security, Kristi Noem, that under no circumstances are we going to participate in various poorly run Democrat Cities with regard to their Protests and/or Riots unless, and until, they ask us for help. We will, however, guard, and very powerfully so, any and all Federal Buildings that are being attacked by these highly paid Lunatics, Agitators, and Insurrectionists. Please be aware that I have instructed ICE and/or Border Patrol to be very forceful in this protection of Federal Government Property. There will be no spitting in the faces of our Officers, there will be no punching or kicking the headlights of our cars, and there will be no rock or brick throwing at our vehicles, or at our Patriot Warriors. If there is, those people will suffer an equal, or more, consequence. In the meantime, by copy of this Statement, I am informing Local Governments, as I did in Los Angeles when they were rioting at the end of the Biden Term, that you must protect your own State and Local Property. In addition, it is your obligation to also protect our Federal Property, Buildings, Parks, and everything else. We are there to protect Federal Property, only as a back up, in that it is Local and State Responsibility to do so. Last night in Eugene, Oregon, these criminals broke into a Federal Building, and did great damage, also scaring and harassing the hardworking employees. Local Police did nothing in order to stop it. We will not let that happen anymore! If Local Governments are unable to handle the Insurrectionists, Agitators, and Anarchists, we will immediately go to the location where such help is requested, and take care of the situation very easily and methodically, just as we did the Los Angeles Riots one year ago. (FACT CHECK: there were no “riots” here a year ago, and none during all of 2025.) Therefore, to all complaining Local Governments, Governors, and Mayors, let us know when you are ready, and we will be there. But, before we do so, you must use the word, ‘PLEASE.’ Remember that I stated, in the strongest of language, to BEWARE - ICE, Border Patrol or, if necessary, our Military, will be extremely powerful and tough in the protection of our Federal Property. We will not allow our Courthouses, Federal Buildings, or anything else under our protection, to be damaged in any way, shape, or form. I was elected on a Policy of Border Control (which has now been perfected!), National Security, and LAW AND ORDER — That’s what America wants, and that’s what America is getting! Thank you for your attention to this matter.”

While he was still in the throes of the overdose, Grampa also posted: “The Radical Left Lunatics, Insurrectionists, Agitators, and Thugs, are going after Kristi Noem, the Secretary of Homeland Security, because she is a woman, and has done a really GREAT JOB! The Border disaster that I inherited is fixed, the violent criminals that were allowed into our Country through Sleepy Joe’s ‘sick’ Open Border Policy, are largely gone, or being strongly sought for purposes of removal, and the Murder Rate in the USA just reached the lowest level in history, 125 years! Washington, D.C., is now one of the safest cities in America - Likewise, numerous other once very dangerous cities!”

I dunno, it’s going to take watching things this coming week, but this demonstration of his insanity could also be his “surrender.” He really has been losing on all fronts, and the more he has done with his private thug army, the more he has pissed off Americans - including people who were his supporters. That could finally be getting through to him. Or it could just be the ravings of a demented old dimwit in the midst of yet another Adderal overdose that once again induced one of his midnight rage-a-thons. Time will tell

Excuse me while I run to the head and worship the porcelain idol: Ever classy and brimming with good taste, Dilbert announced on Friday that the celebration of the 250 years the United State existed before he took a sledgehammer to the project of creating a more perfect union, will include the Freedom 250 Grand Prix. Yes, on next August 23, the streets of Washington DC will host an IndyCar race as part of the celebration of ignorance, bad taste and fascist fuckwittery we should all ignore as the travesty it will be from first event to last. He thinks he’ll get to see Indy racers zooming past the White House at speeds approaching 200 mph. Pro tip, you goon - there isn’t a street long enough in the city to let one of those things accelerate like that, and then have the space to brake and make that next turn without going into what small crowds show up. Trust me, you fucking tasteless moron, I went to the Long Beach Grand Prix a time or two. 191mph on Pennsylvania Avenue? Hah! Maybe 95 mph - tops. With a lot of hard braking to avoid blowing up the White House when one of these gas bombs fails to make the turn and hits it. For a minute or two. Dilbert Dingleberry even managed to get Roger Penske - who owns the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, IndyCar and teams in multiple racing series, including NA$CAR - to show up for a payday. Penske suggested there was “no better way for us to bring automotive and speed into the D.C. area, and to be able to have the opportunity to compete here with our IndyCars.” And get a massive payday from your crypto scam, you fatassed fuckwit. You should do a NA$CAR race, you dumbass - it’s more to the tastes of your shit kicking, hay shaking, dentally-challenged Gammas in their red hats. Paw-Paw and Mooo-Maw will love that shit - assuming they could find the cash to fire up the Winnebago and make it there in time. Yeah, “It’s going to be so exciting. I love the racing. I don’t have a lot of time to watch it, but I love the racing.” Have you ever been to a race, Fuckstix? I fucking doubt it. According the EO with his scrawl on it, “This race, the first motor race ever to be held in our Nation’s capital near the National Mall, will showcase the majesty of our great city as drivers navigate a track around our iconic national monuments in celebration of America’s 250th birthday.” Gag me with a spoon, you shitbird. Tasteless is what America does best and he’ll do it better than any other talentless backstreets boor with all his taste in his mouth ever did Tasteless.

I am never ever ever ever gonna see the cinematic proof that noted sexpest Brett Ratner is indeed the most worthless and talentless piece of shit I determined he was when I was briefly introduced to him in a hallway over at the William Morris Agency (back when it was a Thing) by a friend who actually did know him as we all waited for their slow elevators. But I am reading every review of it with great joy as I watch intelligent people and good writers (often the same person) write their asses off with reviews of this steaming pile of... something I try to avoid but if I step in it I immediately scrape it off my shoe at the first opportunity. So far, the one I like best is this, from Xan Brooks at the Guardian:

“No doubt there is a great documentary to be made about Melania Knauss, the ambitious model from out of Slovenia who married a New York real-estate mogul and then found herself cast in the role of a latter-day Eva Braun, but the horrific Melania emphatically isn’t it. It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch and proffered like a medieval tribute to placate the greedy king on his throne.”

I will continue my research to discover the most snarky, most pungent, most Oscar Wildesque review I can find out there. And I wonder how Rotten Tomatoes was so generous as to give it a 6% rotten score when it could have gone for the gold with a 1%. I did like the review in the Sun-Times where the guy wrote that he hoped the people running the theater didn’t think he was there because he was a fan, and how the 12 other people in the screening he attended were also professional reviewers who felt the same as they all huddled in the darkness and hoped no one would walk in who knew them. And for those who wonder what standards will apply in determining the winner, it will have to rank with my favorite Wildeism: “Some spread joy wherever they go, some whenever they go.” Which I think will be the proper epitaph for Dilbert when the massive fatal myocardial infarction finally makes its appearance.

I will admit I am always interested at what the next fucking amazing bullshit lawsuit from Dilbert will be. They all manage to reveal more about him - that the topic of the suit has him so upset he goes for the lawyers - and the latest one certainly lives up to that. This is a real contender: Trump is suing the IRS and Treasury Department for $10 billion, accusing the agency of an unauthorized leak of his tax returns during his first administration that has caused him “reputational harm” over people finding out he really has been a tax cheat all his worthless life. The suit was filed Thursday in federal court in Florida. Trump and his spawn, Beavis and Butthead, er, I mean Jumnior and Eric Trump, is suing personally, not as president. The lawsuit alleges the government failed to protect his and the Trump Organization’s confidential tax information, which was leaked to the press by Charles Littlejohn, a former IRS contractor. During his first term, his refusal to release his tax returns, breaking a decades-long tradition for presidential candidates, became a focal point for critics. In 2022, six years of Trump’s tax returns were made public by the House Ways and Means Committee after a legal fight over their disclosure reached the Supreme Court. The statute of limitations for an individual to sue to the IRS is two years - Trump alleges he only learned of this on January 29, 2004, though the story had been in front page news for the previous two years. The decision about whether to fight this case or pay out will be made by officials who answer directly to Trump as president and can be ordered to send him billions regardless of the merits of the case. I think this takes the prize for the Grift of Grifts: actually stealing money in public from the public treasury.

MPR reported today that the police chief for a southern Minnesota city intervened this week to prevent federal immigration officers from arresting a Minnesota woman for being a citizen exercising her constitutional right to out assholes. The woman did not want to be identified out of fear of retaliation and told how, after she had beentracking federal immigration officers’ movements with a dashcam, three vehicles began “chasing her,” trying to “box her in.” Video of the incident shows a vehicle speeding in front of her and slamming its breaks, after which three officers exited the vehicle and drew their firearms, demanding she exit the vehicle, then dragged her out of her car, leaving her “with multiple cuts, scrapes and bruises.” She was arrested and they started transporting her to the Twin Cities, “presumably” to an ICE detention facility at the Whipple Federal Building, when they received a phone call, “apparently from an ICE supervisor”, after which the officers reversed course and drove back to St. Peter, where she was arrested. St. Peter Police Chief Matt Grochow, in an email to MPR, confirmed that the federal immigration officers had taken the woman to the St. Peter Police Department headquarters. “ICE returned the female to our police department, I saw her, and I gave her a ride home,” he told MPR in an email. The woman shared details of her ride home with Grochow. “He knew where I lived already, because he had already been in contact with my husband. He started talking to me like he just couldn’t believe how terrible it was, what was happening. And he was so sorry and so scared for me and that type of thing, and he was so upset by what they’re doing to our community.” You gotta love “Minnesota nice,” it’s what powers their outrage.

I love this: A judge has ordered freedom for Liam Conejo Ramos - the five-year-old kidnapped by ICE after they used him as “bait” to get his family to open their door - and his father from the South Texas Family Residential Center in Dilley, Texas. The order specifies the preschooler and his father be released “as soon as practicable” and no later than Tuesday as their immigration case proceeds through the court system. In a scathing opinion, which at times read more like a civics lesson, US District Judge Fred Biery admonished “the government’s ignorance of an American historical document called the Declaration of Independence” and quoted Thomas Jefferson’s grievances against “a would-be authoritarian king,” saying today people “are hearing echos of that history.” He wrote: “Observing human behavior confirms that for some among us, the perfidious lust for unbridled power and the imposition of cruelty in its quest know no bounds and are bereft of human decency. And the rule of law be damned.” He finished his colorful opinion by quoting Benjamin Franklin’s description of the nascent nation at the 1787 Constitutional Convention: “Well, Dr. Franklin, what do we have?” “A republic, if you can keep it.” Liam’s father has been called an “illegal alien” by Baghdad Tricia at DHS, but their attorney says the family entered the US legally and was applying for asylum. Last weekend, a 2-year old toddler was returned to her mother in Minneapolis after being similarly detained and sent to Texas with her father.

The world’s tackiest piece of cheap terrible taste has decided he wants his “Arc de Trump” to be 250 feet tall, meaning it will dwarf everything that can be seen from that location, other than the US capitol itself, which is 288 feet tall. The nearby Lincoln Memorial is only 99 feet tall. And Dilbert wants this built by this summer, at a location that has busy traffic all day every day. The lawsuits against this are being written as I write, hopefully.

“Papieren, bitte”: CBS News reports people of color - including people whose families have been born here for generations - are now carrying their passports or birth certificates with them in Minnesota because ICE continues to defy the Fourth Amendment and federal and state law by randomly stopping people and demanding they show their proof of citizenship. If it’s not readily available, they often end up in ICE detention (which some reports suggest generates a bonus for the agent who nabs them, “undocumented immigrant” or not), something that’s already happened to multiple US citizens. Minneapolis is widely regarded as a test case, with other Blue cities in Blue states up next. An administration official who spoke with NBC News, said: “The reality is, you can’t stop what you’re doing. This is the whole point of ICE existing in these cities, and Minnesota is not going to be the last state that ICE goes to. Oregon was next. We were not done. We need to keep going.” Trump is trying to create a situation where people in Unfree States (i.e., Red states) feel “safe” and people in Free States (i.e., Blue states) go to bed every night feeling like they are under siege. So far, it appears to be generating more backlash than fear, even after Trump has conspired to murder two people and inflict violence and chemical weapons on thousands.

Another opportunity to find out how many Terrible People there are in this country: The DOJ is seeking to hire specifically pro-Trump prosecutors, and is turning to social media to accomplish that. Chad Mizelle, who previously served as the chief of staff to the Department of Justice under Attorney General Pam Bondi and general counsel at the Department of Homeland Security in the first Trump administration took to social media this week to encourage people to “DM” him to apply to become a pro-Trump prosecutor. “If you are a lawyer, are interested in being an AUSA, and support President Trump and anti-crime agenda, DM me. We need good prosecutors. And DOJ is hiring across the country. Now is your chance to join the mission and do good for our country.”

ANOTHER REMINDER: I will be at Robert Hubbell’s event for readers here in Southern California tomorrow. If you spot me, come over and say “Hi.” If you’ve bought any of my books and bring them along, I’ll sign them for you.

You are not the crazy ones. These are truly the times that try men’s and women’s souls. This is the fight of our lifetimes, and the challenge of our generation. I realize times are getting harder, which is why some readers understandably didn’t renew their subscriptions. There are several free subscribers who read TAFM daily according to the site stats. If you folks happen to be in a position to help make up the gap, please consider joining the other paid subscribers here at That’s Another Fine Mess to keep things going. Across Substack, authors like me are losing to the Big Names who come here to say the same things they said in corporate media. We need your help! It’s only 21 cents a day. I am deeply thankful to those who have done so.

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