THE NEW GOP ELECTION PLAYBOOK

The new Republican playbook for elections has one rule: If A Republican Loses An Election, It Was Because The Lib’ruls Stole It.

Larry Elder, who 20 years ago was a slightly funny conservative talk show host on a station we here in Los Angeles have called “K-K-K-FI” for so long I can’t remember when we started that. He was so harmless that Democrats went on his show; it was a place where the conversation was generally pleasant and the usual rules of public politeness were followed. By both parties. Hell, I used to listen to him if I was unfortunate enough to get caught in the evening rush hour(s), as a source of amusement.

But that was back when you could still talk to most of your Republican friends (of which you usually had at least several) about “the kooks” out there, and the “nutbags” down in “Orangatang County.” You could even find Republicans down in Orange County who looked askance at politicians like Congressman “B-1 Bob” Dornan or former Congressman John Schmitz, two guys who were the “most out there” orangatangs in Orangatang county. Today, neither of them could hold a candle to Louie Gohmert, Marjorie Taylor Green, Matt Gaetz, Madison Cawthorn, Kevin McCarthy or any of the other TrumpClucks in a contest for “kookiest kook.”

You know. Back in the late Jurassic. Before the meteor. When the aftereffects of the rotten monkey brains Reagan cooked up and fed them had yet to become obvious. A whole 20-odd years ago.

But over the past 20-odd years, all those people you could laugh and joke with about the “kooks” became the frogs in the pot set at simmer, and by 2016 what brains they had were boiled into mush.

Most prominent among them, Larry Elder. He is now proud to hear Stephen Miller call him a “mentor.”

And according to Larry, if he doesn’t win the recall race for governor tomorrow, it will be because “the election was stolen!” He just KNOWS that the guy KTLA claims was found asleep in his car, with a load of meth he was stoned on, counterfeit money and - GASP!! - 300 recall ballots! - isn’t the only one out there stealing the ballots after people put them in the collection boxes in front of Los Angeles public libraries. And this morning, he got to tell every nut case in America all about it when he appeared on “Fox and Friends” (aka “Three Dolts On A Divan”).

Yes. The election tomorrow will be STOLEN if Gavin Newsom is still the Governor tomorrow night. Because that’s the only way a Lib’rul can win an election in America.

Despite the fact that the last Republican to win a statewide office in California was Arnold Schwarzenegger, who couldn’t get elected to sweep out the room at any meeting of Republicans in California today.

Despite the fact that Newsom beat the last Republican to run for Governor by 22 points in 2018.

Despite the fact that the polls show Newsom holding onto the office by a similar margin now.

Despite the fact that the Republican minority in the State Legislature is below two-thirds, the lowest level of an opposition party in the state’s history.

Despite the fact that there are two registered Democrats for every registered Republican in California.

In spite of all this, Larry Elder, who is the candidate of choice of 27% of the 39% of Californians who want to recall Governor Newsom, just KNOWS the only way Democrats can win any election anywhere is to cheat.

Crazy, no? It certainly is.

But there is method to the madness. Serious method.

Elder’s not the only one who has taken the page from El Blobbo del Mar A Lardo’s playbook about claiming any election you lose must be the result of Democrats cheating. Just about every Republican candidate anywhere in the country is saying that.

Because that’s how you undermine the faith of the citizenry in democracy.

Why vote?! It’s gonna be STOLEN by the Lib’ruls!! Do YOU know anybody who voted for Biden? Do YOU know anybody who’s not gonna vote to recall Newsom??? That’s right - you don’t know anybody who isn’t going to vote the right way. That’s because we’re the MORAL MAJORITY! They have to steal your vote, the same way they steal your neighborhood when they bring them unvetted terr’ists from Afgannystan and put ‘em in that house next door to YOU, the house that BANK STOLE from your friend and neighbor after they sent his job to China!!

We’ve probably seen the last election a Republican loses gracefully, admitting he got outvoted by his opponent fair and square in a clean election.

Because they have to tell everyone democracy doesn’t work.

So they can make it not work when they take power.

They aren’t our opponents. They are Democracy’s Enemies.

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