TAYLOR DERANGEMENT SYNDROME TAKES OVER INADEQUATES, INC.

The Bulwark’s entertainment editor, Sonny Bunch, gets it right about this week’s MAGA brainfart over Taylor Swift:

“Of all the dumb things the nascent nouveau right has tried over the years, attempting to turn conservatives against the NFL is by far the dumbest.

“It’s a sort of brainwashing, like you see in 1984 or Scientology. Get people to say the dumbest shit imaginable (“Two hot celebrities dating is a psyop culm,inating in the Illuminati fixing the Super Bowl so you’ll have to get vaccinated!”) and they’ll believe anything.”

Singer-songwriter Taylor Swift hasn’t even endorsed President Joe Biden for reelection yet. That hasn’t stopped upper crust members of MAGAworld Inadequates Inc. from declaring a “holy war” on the pop mega-star, especially if she ends up publicly backing the Democrats in the 2024 election.

According to three people familiar with the matter, Trump loyalists working on or close to the former president’s campaign, longtime Trump allies in right-wing media, and an array of outside advisers to the ex-president have long taken it as a given that Swift will eventually endorse Biden, as she did in 2020. Indeed, several of these Republicans and conservative media figures have discussed the matter with Trump over the past few months. In recent weeks, the Inadequate-in-Chief has told people that no amount of A-list celebrity endorsements will save Biden. Trump has also privately claimed that he is “more popular” than Swift is and that he has more committed fans than she does. Last month, he said that it “obviously” made no sense that he was not named Time magazine’s 2023 Person of the Year,an honor that went to none other than Swift.

The state of affairs among MAGA Inadequates Inc. is truly remarkable. A subset of America actually purports to boycott Disney, the world's preeminent entertainment company; Bud Light, once America's most popular beer; Target, the quintessential brick-and-mortar shopping destination; Pfizer, the pharmaceutical company that produced life-saving Covid-19 vaccines; Major League Baseball, the nation's favorite pastime; and now Taylor Swift, a generational icon who is one of the most successful musical artists of all time.

It’s incredibly idiotic, but the online right-wing worldview ALWAYS chooses bizarre conspiracies as their default setting for any event that captures the public interest. As Jonah Goldberg put it at The Dispatch, “Now they declare war on the National Football League and Taylor Swift - what’s next, sunny days and hotdogs?”

World’s Dumbest Mick and Proof the English Were Right, Sean “Hammerhead” Hannity, running to not be late to the party, has concluded Taylor Swift was lied to and misled by the left, saying, “Maybe she just bought into all the lies about conservatives and Republicans, that they’re racist and sexist and homophobic, and xenophobic and transphobic and Islamophobic, that Republicans and conservatives want dirty air and water and a total ban on all abortion with no exceptions. If she believes all that, she is believing a lie because those talking points are simply untrue. Now, I’m just saying maybe she wants to think twice before making a decision About 2024.”

(Mmmm, Sean baby, I hate - no, I don’t, I love it! - being the guy to tell you that it’s you who have been misinformed. All you and the rest of the seething Inadequates ARE INDEED “racist and sexist and homophobic, and xenophobic, and transphobic, and Islamophobic, and want dirty air and water, and a total ban on all abortion with no exceptions.” IT’S YOU baby!!)

Every last one of the Inadequates - from The Inadequate-in-Chief, to Best-Dressed Turd Steve Bannon, to reincarnation of Reinhard Heydrich Steven Miller, through all the otherwise-unemployable grifters like junior college flunkout Charlie Kirk - knows in their heart that no matter what they ever do, nothing will ever lead to the glass door they have had their noses pressed to all their loser lives opening with an invitation to come inside.

Trump knows that all the famous golfers he invites to his courses tell everyone they know about how he cheats so obviously, and laugh at him.

Miller knows that the Cool Kidz at Santa Monica High who laughed at him for all those years won’t be inviting him to the After Party at his Twentieth Year Reunion next year.

Bannon knows that no one in Hollywood who matters is ever going to return his many phone calls.

Because They. Are. Losers.

It’s the knowledge of how Inadequate they all are and always have been that drives them, like the lost souls in “The Day of the Locust,” to want to knock down Taylor Swift - who has shattered virtually every major record in the music industry, as she lives her best life supporting her boyfriend, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, while she breaks the brains of each one of the Inadequates.

The digital fever swamps are where the boys no woman would ever touch gather to fume over everything and anything Swift-related. Her world-wide popularity, the success of the Eras Tour - which is so big that it has notably added to the country’s Gross National Product - her relationship, her appearances at NFL games, and especially her politics - all of that drives the losers crazy.

When the Chiefs won the AFC championship on Sunday, punching the team’s ticket to the Super Bowl (for the third time since t hey appeared in the first on), the Inadequates began shouting about long-standing conspiracy theories around the NFL’s “scriptwriting” for football seasons.

All that gets added to the river of shit pouring from the Inadequate conspiracy theorists who have been claiming since she was first spotted at a Chief’s game that Swift’s involvement with Kelce is part of a deep state plot to build support for President Biden in the 2024 election.

The result is as ugly as it is stupid.

Millenial We’d All Like To Throw From An Upper Story Window Head First, Inadequate blowhard Vivek Ramaswamy, tweeted last Monday that he wondered “who’s going to win the Super Bowl next month,” adding, “I wonder if there’s a major presidential endorsement coming from an artificially culturally propped-up couple this fall. Just some wild speculation over here, let’s see how it ages over the next 8 months.”

That was in response to Pizzagate conspiracy theorist Jack Posobiec, who suggested there was a suspicious shift in Swift’s political leanings over the past several years.

Laura Loomer - who it’s rumored gives the worst blowjobs of any of the professional MAGA bimbos - wrote on Elmo’s Xitter (that’s pronounced, “shitter”) that “The Democrats’ Taylor Swift election interference psyop is happening in the open. They are going to use Taylor Swift as the poster child for their pro-abortion GOTV Campaign.”

Swift has not yet announced if she’ll attend the Super Bowl — as she has a concert in Tokyo, Japan the night before (Due to the International Date Line that allows her to leave Japan just before midnight of the day before the event and arrive in Las Vegas in the early afternoon of the day before the event, she’s pretty likely) Looney Loomer suggested in another post that Swift would be seated next to former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and California’s Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom at the game. “Just in time for 2024.”

Far-right influencer Rogan O’Handley posted a message on Xitter addressed to the San Francisco 49ers, in which he suggested that if the Chiefs won the Super Bowl, Swift and Kelce would trigger an apocalyptic chain of events that would kill millions. “You MUST defeat the Chiefs! If you don’t, Mr. Pfizer and his girlfriend are going to tour the country as ‘world champions’ helping elect Joe Biden WW3 will likely follow in a 2nd Biden term and millions will die. The fate of the free world rests upon your shoulders”

Failed GOP candidate Jack Lombardi II wrote on Xitter that he has “never been more convinced that the Super Bowl is rigged. With all the unneeded and unwanted Taylor coverage at the games. KC’s journey to the Superbowl – totally scripted … KC wins. And then later [they announce] their support for Biden. Coincidental? No. Bought and paid for couple. SMH.” He later posted that, “Taylor Swift is nothing more than a controlled influencer who has been put to work by those who seek to destroy America. She is a very talented operative working for the same group responsible for the timely and coincidental covid-19.”

Podcast host Mike Crispi raged that “The NFL is totally RIGGED for the Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor Swift, Mr. Pfizer (Travis Kelce). All to spread DEMOCRAT PROPAGANDA. Calling it now: KC wins, goes to Super Bowl, Swift comes out at the halftime show and ‘endorses’ Joe Biden with Kelce at midfield.”

And just to prove that every part of MAGA Inadequates, Inc., is aboard for this shitshow, when I was in the grocery store this afternoon, I spotted the new issue of the National Inquirer in the rack by the checkout line. The third headline read” “CROOKED NFL REFS ALL IN FOR RIGGING SUPER BOWL.”

Republican Georgia politician Kandiss Taylor wrote that she “tried to warn yall back in October that the influence of [Taylor Swift] on our youth with witchcraft was demonic, evil, and Luciferian. Of course, Satan wants to use her now to elect Joe back into the White House to destroy what’s left of America.”

Conservative commentator Benny Johnson freaked out over a magazine stand at a Barnes & Noble that had been stocked exclusively with Taylor Swift covers. He posted on Xitter that “Taylor Swift is an op. It’s all fake. You’re being played.”

Charlie Warzel, staff writer at The Atlantic who covers the intersection of politics, technology, and culture, wrote, "There’s something striking about watching the far-right tying itself in knots and attacking Swift and Kelce that demonstrates how badly the far-right media has alienated itself from most of society. They’ve built out this alternate universe and reality of grievance and it feels like instead of using it to wage an effective culture war, they’re fully lost in it and can’t see that they’ve chosen as their primary enemy the person with the literal highest approval rating in American life right now."

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