POKING AROUND WHILE THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN

There are 619 days to the mid terms and 21 days to the GOPalypse when the morons shut down the government.

It’s also Circus Time. Closeted gay pedophile Matt Schlapp brings his shitshow of the worst shitheads on the planet celebrating their worthless shitheadedness all weekend - yes indeed, it’s CPAC time! According to closeted gay pedophile’s wife Mercedes Schlapp, it’s the chance for all the little Teenage Mutant Boy Incels to crawl out of mommie’s basement and meet the Teenage Mutant Girl Incels, and find the loves of their lives - not that any of them would know what to do with such a thing if they did run across it, since home skoolin’ don’t include no sex eddycation nosiree. These kids are Proper Teenage Mutants. Maybe they can comb the hayseeds out of each other’s hair. As Jeff Tiedrich puts it, a Dilbert Rally is for amateur cult shitheads; CPAC is for the pros.

From the Department of Elmo Can Fuck Himself In His Face Repeatedly: Elmo showed up at the circus last night, all cool lookin’ in his black MAGA hat and got applauded by all the DOGE employee wannabees and did another one of his “Get it? Didja get it?” comedy routines, with the help of Argentinian Serious Lunatick President Javier Milei, who brought a gift for Everybody’s Favorite Unreconstructed Afrikaner Shithead - the chainsaw he used in his campaign to become the Dilbert of Argentina (he gives Argentinians reasons every day not to cry for him while he takes the country apart). Elmo loved it! He jumped up and down and went Brrr! Brrrr! with his new toy, yelling “The bureaucracy!” Brrr! “The bureaucracy!” Brrrr! Get it? Didja get the joke? Didja? Didja really? Yeah, that’s the level of Serious Intelleckshooal Discourse these Serious Konservateev Intelleckshooal Skollers engage in when the Circus comes to town. Maybe Elmo can populate Mars with these morons and get them the hell far away from the rest of us. The unprotected solar rays can turn them into real Teenage Mutants.

From the Department of When You Lose Steve Bannon What Can You Do?: Man of Many Unwashed Shirts That Make Him Look Like A Homeless Person Steve Bannon told French far-right National Rally Party president Jordan Bardella he was “unworthy to lead France” because he was “a boy, not a man.” This came after Bardella canceled his scheduled speech at The Circus after what Bardella said was “a gesture alluding to Nazi ideology” Bannon made during his speech, saying this morning, “Yesterday, while I was not present in the room, one of the speakers out of provocation allowed himself a gesture alluding to Nazi ideology. I therefore took the immediate decision to cancel my speech that had been scheduled this afternoon.” Of course, Bannon denied the accusation and said the gesture was “a wave” that he regularly did at the end of his speeches “to thank the crowd,” including at a National Rally event several years prior. The incident reflects mounting tensions between Dilbert allies and Europe’s far-right leaders, some of whom have expressed discomfort with Dilbert surrendering so publicly to their joint paymaster, The St. Petersburg Yard Punk.

From the Department of Corporal Couchfucker Still Doesn’t Know Shit From Shinola: Alleged US Vice President Widdle Juvenile Delinquent Vance also performed his Seerioos Konservateev Intelleckshooal character at the Circus. It was a lecture about how all the Little Boy Incel Teenage Mutants have been so fucked-over by the Terrible Lib’ruls Out To Destroy Us All. He actually said this: “Our culture sends a message to young men that you should suppress every masculine urge. You should try to cast aside your family, you should try to suppress what makes you a young man in the first place. And I think that my message to young men is, don’t allow this broken culture to send you a message that you’re a bad person because you’re a man, because you like to tell a joke, because you like to have a beer with your friends.” Seriously, What The Actual Fuck is this all about? Oh, right, society’s telling the Little Boy Incels they are supposed to get her permission before slipping the Little Girl Incel a roofie in their hopeless attempt to find out what they don’t know about The Great Mystery of Sex. And that’s just terrible, that they can’t exercise their Little White Boy Incel Privilege to slip it to The Little White Girl Incel as a surprise. Paraphrasing Stokely Carmichael 60 from years ago when he was confronted by women in SNCC regarding their position in the movement, “The position of women in the (conservative) movement is prone.”

From the Department of Dilbert Is A Far Bigger Moron Than You Can Possibly Imagine: When President Elmo came out and said Social Security was still paying money to 150 year old rotting corpses, that was quickly shown to be proof that Elmo and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Basement Dwellers had never heard of COBOL. At Yesterday’s White House press availability, Dilbert repeated Elmo this insanity about Dead People Are Getting Social Security checks: “1.3 million people are on social security from age 150-159. Over 130,000 people are on social security over the age of 160 years old, ok?” And then Elmo also said that the gold in Fort Knox appears to be suspiciously missing (it’s as true as the 150 year old Social Security recipients). And guess what? Wait for it.... drumroll... Dilbert went to speak at the Republican Governor’s Conference last night and said... “All my life I’ve heard about Fort Knox, that’s where the gold is kept, right? I heard, ‘Fort Knox, oh ho ho,’ but you know, we’re getting a little bit shaky, we’re getting the yips on this stuff, like I want to find out, so we’re gonna open up the doors, I’m going to see if we have gold there. I’m going to find out, did anybody steal the gold in Fort Knox?” Yeah, let the reality of what those Republican Governors have supported and promoted stare them in the face in public. Your Dear Leader is Batshit Insane. 25th Amendment level Batshit Insane. “Donald Trump is the most determined igtnoramus I ever met in my life,” as John Kelly reported.

And then there’s more from the Department of Dilbert’s Crazier Than A Bedbug: “The most determined ignoramus I ever met,” in the words of John Kelly, has now revealed a total and complete misunderstanding of how government finance works. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick has announced that Dilbert plans to get rid of the Internal Revenue Service and replace it with an “external” revenue service that will somehow force the rest of the world to fund the U.S. government. “His goal is to abolish the Internal Revenue Service and let all the outsiders pay,” Howard Lutnick told Faux Snooze’s Jesse Watters on Wednesday night. Instead of the IRS, Dilbert plans to create an “external revenue service” that will “get rid of all these tax scams that hammer against America” and raise $1 trillion of revenue. The rebranding reflects Dilbert’s oft-repeated and inaccurate claim that tariffs are paid by foreign countries. FACT CHECK: Tariffs are a tax paid by American companies, with the costs passed on to consumers. They’re also collected by Customs and Border Protection, not the IRS. Dilbert continues to believe that “tariff” is “the most beautiful word in the dictionary.” I dunno, maybe it will take the guy who bankrupted two casinos following that up by bankrupting an entire country for the 77 million fuckwitted droolers who support him to finally learn that 2+2 still equals 4. I’m sure the Teenage Mutant Circus Audience will love it.

From the Department of The Afrikaner Fuckwit Is Actually A Shithead: Elmo called a Danish astronaut “fully retarded” in an argument on Xitter (that’s pronounced “shitter”). Elmo used the term as an insult against ESA astronaut Andreas Mogensen who had rebuked him for claiming the two NASA astronauts currently stranded in space were left there for “political reasons.” Mogensen posted “What a lie. And from someone who complains about lack of honesty from the mainstream media.” Elmo did not take the criticism well. “You are fully retarded. SpaceX could have brought them back several months ago. I OFFERED THIS DIRECTLY to the Biden administration and they refused. Return WAS pushed back for political reasons. Idiot.” Mogensen - who in 2023 became the first became the first non-American pilot of a U.S. spacecraft, piloted Space-X’s 6 month mission to the ISS - doubled down on his criticism of Elmo’s original claim. “Elon, I have long admired you and what you have accomplished, especially at SpaceX and Tesla. You know as well as I do, that Butch and Suni are returning with Crew-9, as has been the plan since last September. Even now, you are not sending up a rescue ship to bring them home. They are returning on the Dragon capsule that has been on ISS since last September.” After being called out as a liar by Mogensen, Elmo called for the International Space Station to be defunded. How adult of him. Stick him in one of his exploding rockets, and fire it into the sun.

From the Department of Bad News For Dilbert Is Good News For Us: After Dilbert came out in favor of the House budget bill yesterday, Senator Ron Wyden posted: "Nobody should lose sight of what happened this morning. Trump endorsed the House budget resolution. This resolution mandates that $880 billion in cuts from the House Energy & Commerce committee. There is no plausible way to hit that target without hundreds of billions in cuts to Medicaid." Sen. Tammy Baldwin: "Last night, the president said, 'I'm not touching Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, VA, I'm not touching them.' But this morning, he endorsed the House budget resolution which paves the way for massive cuts to Medicaid." Rep. David Valadao (R-CA): “I don’t know where they’re going to get the cuts.” Or the votes, since Valadao and seven other Republicans have told MAGA Mike they can’t vote to for these cuts. 21 days, MAGA Mike, 21 days.

From the Department of He Even Fucked The 9/11 First Responders. Dilbert supporter and 9/11 First Responder John Feal after Elmo’s Children’s Brigade cut off survivor’s benefits and medical care for 9/11 First Responders: “Trump signed our bill in 2019. He turned to me, shook my hand, gave me the sharpie that he signed the bill with, and he said, ‘nobody deserves this more than you. You worked harder than anybody.’ And for him to callously and recklessly allow Elon Musk to do this to us, his words are shallow and meaningless to me now.” Hey, you did live in NYC before 2016 and you did know what a piece of shit he was then, so what why the fuck are you surprised now that you made him president again, you moron?

And the good news is:

From the Department of Believe The Polls When They All Trend The Same Way: Dilbert’s approval ratings are dropping steadily across multiple polls. A new WaPo poll shows only 45% approve of his job performance while 53% disapprove. 57% believe Dilbert has exceeded his constitutional authority as president. 62% said Dilbert is not “honest and trustworthy.” (What gave them their first clue?) Elmo’s not doing better: only 34% approve of what he’s been doing, 49% disapprove, and 14% say they aren’t sure. A whopping 63% are concerned about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Geeks getting access to sensitive personal data of individuals. Reuters/Ipsos has Dilbert at 44%, with 51% disapproving; he only had 41% disapproval a few weeks ago in the same poll. 53% said they think the economy is on the wrong track, up from 43% a few weeks ago. Dilbert now has only a 39% approval on how he has handled the economy so far. CNN poll has Dilbert at 47% with 52% disapproving. And WaPo shows Americans against Dilbert’s pardons for the J6 traitors 83%-14%. Elmo is disapproved 58%-27% in CNN’s poll. The public favors DEI by 27 points, disapproves of the anti-trans policies by 21%, and wants Democrats in control of the next Congress: yes 54%-41%. If only someone could have told them this would happen before the election!

From the Department of Beat Them Like A Drum: Christina Gagnier, a Democrat challenging California Republican Young Kim, raised $100,000 in her first two days of campaigning this month. Kim, who hails from Orangatang County, is one of those possibly-at-risk blue-state Republicans at the center of the fight over SALT in Trump’s tax cuts. Of course, Democrats are currently nearly powerless to stop Dilbert and Elmo, but these House races will likely represent the earliest green shoots. The news in the post above this drives events like this.

In closing, that Complete Unknown guy has something to say about all this:

They're selling postcards of the hanging, they're painting the passports brown/The beauty parlor is filled with sailors, the circus is in town/And the Good Samaritan, he's dressing, he's getting ready for the show/He's going to the carnival tonight on Desolation Row

Whew! Are you sure it’s only been 30 days, cuz sometimes it feels like 30 years and other times it feels like 30 centuries. Whatever it is, TAFM will keep up with the public celebrations of moron insanity for you. Shoveling through this shit would be easier if you were to become a paid subscriber here, for only $7/month or $70/year.

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