POKING AROUND TWO YEARS LATER

Jurate passed into the Whatever It Is That Comes After two years ago today. I’m now starting to feel like I am out of that place, and I believe there’s now a future for me.

There are 621 days to the mid terms and 22 days till the Republicans shoot themselves in the foot and shut down the government due to their incompetence. They’ve already lost the votes they need to pass their We Gotta Give Dilbert His Tax Break budget agreement because there are six of them who know their careers are dead the minute they vote to kill Medicaid.

“Any assistant U.S. attorney would know that our laws and traditions do not allow using the prosecutorial power to influence other citizens, much less elected officials, in this. If no lawyer within earshot of the President is willing to give him that advice, then I expect you will eventually find someone who is enough of a fool, or enough of a coward, to file your motion. But it was never going to be me.”- Hagan Scotten, former Assistant US Attorney, SDNY

From the Department of Does He Always Make The Wrong Decision? Why Yes, He Does: Every single thing Dilbert thinks about anything is completely upside-down and ass-backwards. There’s no climate crisis so let’s increase oil production and insure the crisis becomes a planetary disaster; tariffs improve the economy so lets kille the auto industry with them; low-flow showers are bad because you need more water: and the newest - congestion pricing in New York City, which has already lowered congestion and increased use of public transit is an Obviously Bad Thing. The Trump administration is moving ahead with its plan to kill New York City’s congestion pricing – a controversial tolling program designed to help raise millions in critical infrastructure funding and decrease traffic in Manhattan’s most congested zones. Maladministration II is moving ahead with its plan to kill New York City’s congestion pricing. Reality TV Star Has-Been Pretending To Be Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy sent a letter to New York Gov. Kathy Hochul that the Department is rescinding its approval of the Value Pricing Pilot Program, which created a $9 toll for drivers entering Manhattan south of 60th Street during peak traffic hours and $2.25 overnight to enter Manhattan below 60th Street, also created discounts for lower-income drivers and exemptions for others. “New York State’s congestion pricing plan is a slap in the face to working class Americans and small business owners. Every American should be able to access New York City regardless of their economic means. It shouldn’t be reserved for an elite few.” Dilbert followed up with a post to Lies AntiSocial: “CONGESTION PRICING IS DEAD. Manhattan, and all of New York, is SAVED. LONG LIVE THE KING!” (FACT CHECK: the only people in the state who don’t like the program are the knuckle-draggers in rural northern NY who never go to NYC to begin with, but they’re Dilbert voters, so...) The same afternoon, Governor Hochul responded: “We are a nation of laws, not ruled by a king. The MTA has initiated legal proceedings in the Southern District of New York to preserve this critical program. We’ll see you in court.” New York’s MTA sued Duffy and federal transportation officials on Wednesday, arguing that Maladministration II unlawfully and “precipitously — and for blatantly political reasons— purported to ‘terminate’ the program, as then-candidate Trump proclaimed he would do in his first week in office.”

From the Department of He’s Crazy Enough to think He’s A King: Yes indeed, King Dilbert FatAss I proclaimed himself King yesterday, and of course the fools, knaves, failures, back alley assassins, bank robbers, rustlers, sycophants, opportunists, blackguards, villains, drunks, drug addicts, illiterates, child molesters and god-botherers he surrounds himself fell all over themselves in joy at the announcement he was dropping the pretense of democracy. This sycophantic support demonstrates that Dilbert’s autocratic or monarchic ranting isn’t merely him going rogue; it’s a distinct rhetorical feature of his entire administration. Taylor Budowich (that has to be an AI-generated alias) posted a picture of King Dilbert I on the White House Xitter (that’s pronounced “shitter”) account. To which Isaac, James, Ezekiel and his son Ezekiel Cleaver Jr., my Revolutionary War Ancestors, shout: Over our graves, motherfuckers! These. Scum. Are. All. Traitors. To. Their. Oath. To. Protect. And. Defend. The. Constitution.

From the Department of The Hypocrisy Is The Point: Dilbert claimed he issued the order requiring all federal employees to return to working in their offices because “Nobody’s going to work from a home. They’re going to be going out. They’re going to play tennis. They’re going to play golf. They’re going to do a lot of things. They’re not working.” In the mjidst of the current constitutional crisis, Dilbert has now golfed for five consecutive days in South Florida, while MaladministrationII has purged federal employees and threatened terminations over their new policy forcing remote employees back into the office. Dilbert duffered on Wednesday at his Doral golf club in Miami after spending four days at Motel-a-Lardass over an extended President’s Day holiday before his scheduled return to the White House last night. His MAGA supporters cheered him on.

From the Department of We Now Have The Department of Injustice: Trump defense attorney Emil Bove III, now masquerading as Deputy Attorney General, was left to assume the role of a line prosecutor to argue the motion when two career DOJ employees who had entered appearances in the matter did not appear, representing the government in yesterday’s hearing about the Maladministration II attempt to kidnap NYC Mayor Eric Adams and hold him hostage. Apparently no other DOIJ attorney could be trusted to argue with a straight face that the DOJ should be allowed to proceed with dropping its prosecution of Adams now that he has agreed to the extortion plan. Bove, along with Adams defense attorney Alex Spiro, put on a show of “measured intimidation” in an effort to bring as quick an end as possible to the case, which had been set to go to trial in April. The two pushed hard throughout, attempting both to muscle an end to the matter, and to deny the clear picture that had emerged as the DOJ attempted to end the case. Judge Ho asked Bove about two arguments that he had made to dismiss the case: that the DOJ needed to consider how the prosecution impeded Adams’ ability to cooperate with federal law enforcement, and how the case blocked Adams from preparing for the upcoming New York City mayoral elections. Bove reiterated claims that the Adams prosecution had been brought abusively, but told Ho that the court lacked authority to review that claim. Bove kept trying to direct Ho to arguments that might end the case. The effect was to establish Dilbert as a sovereign, and Adams as his arm. That Adams supposedly could not communicate with the DOJ, Bove said at one point, “impacts national security objectives that are a core Article II power of President Trump.” After arguing that the government should be allowed to drop corruption charges against Adams to facilitate his cooperation with the Trump immigration agenda, Bove actually said the government would be willing to overlook crimes by other public officials tif by so doing they could force their cooperation with the Dilbert Regime, adding, “There is no basis to question my representations to this court.”Bove indicated that the prosecutors who refused to go along with the dismissal may find themselves being investigated, along with those who brought the case. 200 years from now, should the US survive, the perfidy of Emil Bove will equal the treason of Benedict Arnold.

From the Department of Dilbert Cares For His Tax Cheat Friends: Noted tax cheater Dilbert, and the unelected South African Space Nazi who also cheats on his taxes will spend today making sure they and all the other rich tax cheaters get the protection their riches prove they deserve, when they fire 6,700 IRS agents by close of business. Yeah, why not? It’s only a week or so to tax season, when the 95% of Americans who actually believe in obeying the law whether they like it or not, will be getting even more busy signals than before when they need information and help. Not only is Dilbert firing these employees, Maladeministration II has also prevented the IRS from hiring anyone, indefinitely. This on top of Elmo killing off the IRS programs designed to make things easy for the majority of Americans who don’t have any wealth to hide because it was stolen over the past 50 years by Ronnie the Ray Gun and the rest of the Scumbags Who Should All Be Dead GOP.

From the Department of The US Would Be A Better Place If Texas And Texans Didn’t Exist: An 11-year old girl’s death by suicide in Gainesville, Texas, by the Gainesville Independent School District Police, which is investigating the bullying allegations after her mother says she was bullied by other students who hurled insults at her, claiming her family was in the US illegally. Jocelynn Rojo Carranza died on February 8 – five days after her mother found her unresponsive at their home in Gainesville, Texas, according to an online obituary. Her funeral took place yesterday morning. Jocelynn was bullied and taunted at school over her family’s immigration status, telling her “They were going to call immigration so they could take her parents away and she would be left alone.” Carranza claims her daughter’s school was aware of the alleged bullying but did not tell her, and she only learned her daughter had been receiving counseling at school when investigators told her. There are no evil, vicious white trash scum like the evil, vicious white trash goatroper scum produced in Texas. Mississippi, Alabama and the rest of the White South are distant runners-up.

From the Department of Fuck This Motherfucker In His Face Repeatedly: Ed Martin, the election-denying Dilbert-sucking toady recently promoted to be US Attorney in Washington DC has announced an investigation into “threats against federal workers,” after some of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Antisocial Basement Dwellers working in Elmo's Children’s Crusade to destroy the federal government said they had been threatened. He said his office would probe Senator Chuck Schumer, naming the initiative "Operation Whirlwind," saying Schumer, the top Democrat in the Republican-led U.S. Senate, is the subject of a threats investigation for statements made about Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh at a 2020 abortion rights rally where he said: "You have released the whirlwind and you will pay the price." Martin said his office has been "flooded with threats against those who helped free the January 6 prisoners." However, Martin failed to mention the threats that federal prosecutors, FBI agents and judges are continuing to receive online from January 6 defendants after Trump granted them pardons.

Here’s the Good News that’s out there:

The new Quinnipiac Poll shows Dilbert’s popularity collapse is continuing. 38% of voters think the system of checks and balances in the federal government is working either very well (9%) or somewhat well (29%), while 54% think it is working either not so well (24%) or not well at all (30%). Among Republicans, 57% percent think the system is working either very well (16%) or somewhat well (41%), while 34% think it is working either not so well (22%) or not well at all (12%). Among Democrats, 14% think the system is working either very well (1%) or somewhat well (13%), while 80% think it is working either not so well (32%) or not well at all (48%). Among independents, 41% think the system is working either very well (11%) or somewhat well (30%), while 52% think it is working either not so well (24%) or not well at all (28%). 55% of voters think Elmo has too much power in making decisions affecting the United States, 36% think he has about the right amount of power, and 3% think he has too little power. For Republicans, 16% think he has too much power, 78% think he has about the right amount of power, and 1% think he has too little power. Among Democrats, 96% think he has too much power and 1% think he has about the right amount of power. Voters 54 - 42 disapprove of Elmo playing a prominent role in Maladministration II. In the Quinnipiac January 29 poll, voters disapproved 53 - 39. 45% of voters approve of Dilbert as president, while 49% disapprove. In the Quinnipiac January 29 poll, 46% approved, while 43% disapproved. 40% of Democrats approve of the way Democrats in Congress are handling their job, while 49% disapprove. 81% think the United States should not trust Russian President Vladimir Putin, while 9% think he should be trusted. And Gallup shows Dilbert with 45% approval and 51% doisapproval. So much for his fucking “mandate.”

From the Department of Joe Rogan Is Number Two: An anti-Trump podcast outpaced The Joe Rogan Experience by a large number of downloads and views over the past month, according to podcast ranker Podscribe. The MeidasTouch Podcast grew its reach by 101 percent in the past month, raking in 56 million downloads and views across audio platforms and YouTube, data as of Feb. 18 showed. Joe Rogan’s show came in second place with 48.6 million downloads and views, down by 32 percent over the past month. The MeidasTouch Podcast is hosted by brothers Ben, Brett, and Jordan Meiselas, who regularly scorch Dilbert in episodes that mix news and banter. Before joining forces, Ben was the lead lawyer for NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick and co-owns the Los Angeles Magazine with celebrity attorney Mark Geragos. Brett won two Emmys for his video editing work for The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Jordan, meanwhile, was an award-winning advertising executive in New York.“The brothers' unique approach at covering news by combining hilarious brother banter with an unapologetic support of democracy has earned them millions of supporters in America and across the globe and made them social media icons,” the show’s Spotify description reads.

I’ll leave with some words of wisdom from Rachel Bitecofer for Congressional Democrats: “Finding that 49% of Democrats openly admit they are mad at their own party is an astonishing stat and should send warning shots across the bow of the party’s various leaders. In plain language what I’m saying is that in order to get your own partisans to admit they’re unhappy with you, you have to be fucking up royally. Having 49% of Democrats admit they’re pissed off at their own party spells real trouble for Democrats they need to take seriously. These are tea party numbers here. Although some of this Intra-party disapproval is driven by fear of what is happening to our democracy and frustration that stems from the impotency of being the minority party in D.C., it is also driven by the sense that Democrats do not have an organized opposition. No matter how many lawsuits they file the Democratic Party is visibly rudderless right now and Democratic voters know it.”

You. Are. Not. The. Crazy. Ones. Dilbert is failing, which means the American people have real hope for a much better and brighter future. But it will only come if we bring it.

I can guarantee you that TAFM is not “rudderless.” If you like what’s here, please support this work with a paid subscription. Only $7/month or $70/year.

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