POKING AROUND ON DAY 4 OF WEEK 2

From the Department of The Purges Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Trump purported to fire two Democratic EEOC commissioners before the ends of their terms and prematurely tilt the commission to a Republican majority. Trump had already appointed Andrea Lucas, a Republican commissioner, to take over the role of chair from previous Democratic Chair Charlotte Burrows. But late on Monday he dismissed Burrows, whose term was supposed to run through July 2028, as well as Democratic commissioner Jocelyn Samuels, whose term was supposed to end in 2026. Donald Trump is forcing out top leaders of the US labor board, ushering in a swift reboot of workplace law enforcement while testing the limits of presidential authority. Acting EPA Administrator James Payne has ousted all members of two of the agency’s most influential science advisory panels, giving President Donald Trump’s administration the opportunity to reshape them with its own appointees. In an obliquely worded email sent late Tuesday afternoon, Payne said a decision had been made to “reset” the Clean Air Scientific Advisory Committee and Science Advisory Board “to ensure that the agency receives scientific advice consistent with its legal obligations to advance our core mission.” EPA will seek nominations in the coming weeks, Payne added, with all members encouraged to reapply. The CASAC provides independent expertise to EPA staff during statutorily required reviews of ambient air quality standards for lead, ozone and four other pollutants; the SAB offers scientific and technical advice on a range of issues.

From the Department of Only the Best People: Andrew Kloster, a self-described “raging misogynist” with a public history of racist comments and insistence on loyalty to President Donald Trump, has been installed as general counsel for the federal government’s human resources agency, the Office of Personnel Management (OPM). After leaving the office in 2021, Kloster returned to OPM last week. His return came as OPM began issuing a number of government-wide memos, including one yesterday mandating agencies begin to launch efforts to strip protections from some career employees. Kloster worked as deputy general counsel at OPM at the end of the first Trump administration and briefly served as its acting general counsel. In 2022, Kloster was subject to a temporary restraining order for domestic violence in Maryland, which was dismissed days later after an agreement, according to the Maryland Judiciary case page.

From the Department of Let The Leopards Eat Each Other’s Face: Elmo’s sagging approval ratings could be harming President Bonehead J. Lamebrain’s favorability score, given the close relationship between the two men, CNN data reporter Harry Enten suggested last Tuesday. Elmo’s weekend speech to the AfD convention in which he told Germans to “move beyond” any “past guilt” regarding the Holocaust has resulted in a strong backlash. German Chancellor Olaf Scholz called them “really disgusting.” Enten said Elmo’s Enshittification Day Sieg Heil salute that thrilled all the neo-Nazis, “Isn’t just pissing off Germans, he’s pissing off Americans, too.” The world’s Richest Ketamine Addict is now underwater by 13 points on favorability. The Nazi hijinks are also pissing off potential Tesla buyers, with Elmo’s tinny toys that only work 75% of the time and don’t self drive for shit recording a drop-off in sales over the last 10 days. President Lamebrain’s approval has dropped three points since Enshittification Day, and he is now eight points underwater - and probably worse after the attempted coup against the Constitution yesterday, which has everyone pissed off. The leopards are doing a good job. For our side.

From the Department of More Bad News For Elmo: Wired Magazine reported on Wednesday that the White House Office of Personnel Management - the HR Department of the Federal Government and the source of the “Fork In The Road” federal employee buyout email that has now enraged federal employees as they have learned the whole offer is illegal (surprise surprise!) - is the way it is now because the professional staff have been largely replaced by Techie Toadies from Elmo’s companies, including two people Wired wouldn’t name because there is a strong possibility they are actually minors; one came to the office with a summer’s experience as a church camp junior counselor and two months as an intern at Xitter (That’s pronounced “shitter”). Basically, the Federal HR Department has been taken over by a collection of 20-nothing internet trolls and podcasters who thought running the government would be as easy as complaining about it. Now that President Lamebrain is sitting there wiping the blowback off his face, he’s going to be looking for someone to throw under the bus as he once again avoids blame for being the World’s Dumbest Fuckwit. Word that it’s Elmo - who he’s already tiring of having him hanging out in the White House - just might mean that the World’s Richest Ketamine Addict is going to find out what it’s like to become Icarus. Down can be a Long Way Down. Be still, my beating heart.

From the Department of Widdle Markie Fuckerberg Needs A Backbone Implant: Meta has agreed to pay $25 million to settle a lawsuit with President Dimbulb P. Jagoff. The suit originated in 2021 when the White House occupier sued FleeceBlock for suspending his accounts after the January 6 attack on the US Capitol. The settlement was first reported by the Wall Street Journal and has been confirmed by a Meta spokesperson. The majority of the settlement, $22 million, will go toward a fund to pay for ConvictedFelon34’s presidential library (how many comic books can you put in a presidential library?), according to the Wall Street Journal. Shortly after the insurrection at the Capitol, Facebook suspended President Adderall J. Dumbfuck’s accounts. At the time, he was using the platform to spread false claims around election fraud and to repeatedly say he won the 2020 election. Back when Fuckerberg still had his own spine, he said, “We believe the risks of allowing the President to continue to use our service during this period are simply too great.” The man who believes Revenge Is All has been stewing about this for four years, saying“They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this censoring and silencing, and ultimately, we will win. Our Country can’t take this abuse anymore!”at the time, later threatening, “Next time I’m in the White House there will be no more dinners, at his request, with Mark Zuckerberg and his wife. It will be all business!” Fuckerberg now has other constitutional rights he needs to barbecue.

From the Department of What The Fuck Is Wrong With Arizona Democratic Senators? The Senate on Wednesday confirmed former New York Rep. Lee Zeldin to be EPA administrator along mostly partisan lines. Zeldin, with little experience in environmental policymaking, will spearhead the Trump administration's push to reverse former President Biden's climate regulations. President Trump and congressional Republicans have promised to roll back a long list of EPA rules on fossil fuel plants, auto emissions and its $27 billion Greenhouse Gas Reduction fund. During his confirmation hearing, Zeldin stressed the need to have EPA more closely adhere to recent conservative Supreme Court rulings. He said he would "honor" the court's Loper Bright decision putting fresh limitations on Congress' ability to delegate powers to agencies. Zeldin cleared the Senate in a 56 to 42 vote, with three Democrats backing him. He won support from both Arizona Democrats after promising Senator Mark Kelly he would work on a Maricopa County air quality issue that has slowed semiconductor and battery manufacturing in the area.

From the Department of Every Election Matters: There is an important vote in Wisconsin for the State Supreme Court. Liberal justice Susan Crawford, a Dane County Circuit Court judge, is opposed by crazy wingnut Brad Schimel for the 10-year term and will determine if the curent liberal majority on the court can be maintained. During a local event last week, the conservative Wisconsin Supreme Court candidate told Republicans that he believes life begins at conception and lamented that 65% of Wisconsinites oppose any abortion bans, saying "We have to shut this issue down." He’s another typical “It's my way or the highway... who cares if the majority is against it” Trumpscum. This particular election, which the entire nation is focused on and is watching closely, will have enormous consequences for critical issues such as voting rights and free and fair elections as well as on redistricting and fair voting maps for state legislative elections in Wisconsin. It also matters for critical issues like health care and reproductive rights as well as environmental protection, collective bargaining rights and protections for public and possibly private sector employees, public education funding and so much more that the court will deal with in coming years. The primary is on February 18 and the general is on April 1. And if that wasn’t more than enough reason to vote this year there’s more. A hyper partisan measure to needlessly amend the Wisconsin Constitution to enshrine one of the most extreme and restrictive voter suppression measures in the nation that is already in Wisconsin law has been rammed through the Wisconsin Legislature along strict party lines and will be on the April 1election ballot. SO VOTE!!!

From the Department of Pete Hegseth Is Worse Than You Thought: The rumors of alleged SecDef Pete Hegseth being a white supremacist are turning out to be true. Instructions were published Tuesday in a Defense Intelligence Agency memo that drop DoD participation in 11 annual events, including observances of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Black History Month, which begins Saturday, National Hispanic Heritage Month, Pride Month, Holocaust Days of Remembrance and Juneteenth in response to President Dimbulb J. Looney’s ban on diversity, equity and inclusion programs in federal workplaces.

From the Department of The Wrong People Were Nominated: RFK Jr is back for round two of questioning today. So far, he’s having a very hard time answering questions about whether vaccines cause autism or whether the COVID vaccine saved millions of lives. He’s also having a hard time answering whether he sexually assaulted his family babysitter - something he actually admitted to elsewhere. Republican Sen. Bill Cassidy, who is a doctor, seems genuinely horrified by this freak, and we can only hope some sanity remains in the Senate. In the meantime, Kash Patel has his day before the Senate. So far, he has refused to say whether the 2020 election was not stolen, using the “term of art” Bondi used, that the election was certified for Biden. He also said said he knows people who died from receiving the COVID vaccine. He refused t o answer when asked if he would protect FBI agents who worked on the Trump investigations. He also defended producing the J6 Choir “song” ConvictedFelon34 used in his campaigns. And then there is Tulsi “Gabbard, also appearing today. Former members of the Chris Butler Science of Identity Foundation cult she belongs to say they believe that her allegiance is first to her guru, second to her family, and third to America.

From the Department of This is So Sad: Investigators working on the mid-air collision of an American Eagle Airlines regional jet on final approach to Reagan Airport in Washington DC from Wichita Kansas and an Army Blackhawk helicopter last night say they have found no survivors. Looking at the footage shown on television of the incident, my personal hope is that the explosion that followed the collision impact resulted in instantaneous death for all, because falling into the largely frozen Potomac River would only have extended the agony of any surivor for the 10 minutes it would have taken for them to freeze to death. All indications are that the Army helicopter was told by tower controllers to “ pass behind the jet” after its pilot confirmed he had the jet in sight, and failed to do so. This is the first major crash with mass casualties involving and American airliner in 16 years. There were approximately 60 passengers and four crew aboard the airliner, and three in the Blackhawk. Among the deceased were a group of young figure skaters, coaches and their families, who were traveling back from a development camp following the National Figure Skating Championships in Wichita, Kansas

From the Department of The Bastard Got What He Deserved: A federal judge sentenced a tearful Bob Menendez to 11 years in prison Wednesday after the former senator was convicted of abusing the power of his office in exchange for bribes in the form of gold bars, a luxury car and other items. Good riddance. Unfortunately he’ll end up in a Club Fed, rather than go where he really belongs.

I can’t find any good news today. Maybe the Senate will come to their senses and vote down RFK Jr, Gabbard and Kash. I’m not holding my breath on any of those.

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