POKING AROUND ON DAY 37 OF THE FASCIST COUP

Cognitiviely impaired elderly old fool falls asleep listening to the President

There are 614 days to the mid terms and 15 days to the Republican collapse. We’re not at Disaster yet, but the road sign we just passed said it’s closer than I care to think.

From the Department of Jeff Bezos Can Go Straight To Hell: Yesterday, Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos announced a new policy, mandating the paper’s opinions section to focus on supporting free markets and personal liberties and ordering those pieces with opposing view to “be left to be published by others.” Bezos announced that Opinion editor David Shipley would be resigning. (Shipley had spent weeks protesting the move internally.) Jeff Stein, the economics reporter, called it a “massive encroachment” by the owner that left no room for “dissenting views.” David Maraniss, the Pulitzer-winning journalist who has been at the paper for nearly 50 years, declared on social media that he would never write for the Post again. The move was praised by Dilbert’s Maladministration II. One is left to wonder how Bezos’ support for personal liberties squares with his mandate for limited views on the opinion pages. It is obvious Bezos has done this because he perceives his other business interests being threatened by Dilbert over what appears in the Post. I had re-subscribed to the paper last week because of the good opinion pieces that had been appearing recently. On reading this announcement yesterday morning, I canceled that subscription. If you have a subscription there, I urge you to cancel; there is nothing of value left in the Washington Post. Jeff Bezos has killed it.

From the Department of The South African Scumbag Continues His Treason: At the first meeting of Dilbert’s Confederacy of Dunces, er, I mean the Cabinet of Incompetents, Elmo defended his email demanding all federal workers report their accomplishments to his office, calling it a “pulse check” and saying anyone with a heart beat and neurons could complete it. The stupid sonofabitch is too fucking ignorant to understand that even the world’s richest piece of shit has to follow the law; he has zero understanding of how the government he is so intent on destroying works. He is the 5 year old breaking toys as a 5 year old will, but these toys are not the cheap toys one buys for that 5 year old, knowing they will be broken sooner than later. Reporters in the room said it was impossible to tell how much some of the Cabinet members agreed or disagreee with Elmo’s through their facial expressions and body language, though any public disagreements with Dilbert would be unexpected. “Is anyone unhappy with Elmo? If you are, we’ll throw them out of here,” Dilbert asked the room at one point, eliciting some chuckles. He also defended the insane email Elmo sent over the weekend. “I can tell you everything I’ve done for the last—long period of time. We have a mandate to do this. And this is part of the reason I got elected.” (FACT CHECK: You don’t have a mandate you Long Term Russian Asset - you won by the narrowest margin of victory ever. What you’ve done is cheat at your golf game repeatedly for 10 of the past 37 days, costing the US government $20 million for AF1 to take you to your golf courses - so much for “government efficiency,” you motherfucking traitor. And nobody voted for your fascist coup - in fact it’s the most unpopular part of your unpopular bullshit..) Dilbert’s Official Fluffer of the Widdle Mushwoom defended Elmo’s participation despite his having no business in the room: “Well, Elon is working with the Cabinet secretaries and their staff every single day to identify waste and fraud and abuse at these respective agencies.” Bullshit - this ignorant asswipe has no understanding whatsoever of how this country works or how the government works. Elmo: "We will make mistakes. We won't be perfect ... so for example, with USAID, one of the things we accidentally canceled very briefly was ebola prevention." (FACT CHECK AGAIN: No, Ebola Prevention is still unfunded and shut down.) Elmo’s a fucking moron who thinks he’s a genius on top of being a Dilbert-class liar. Fuck. These. Traitors. In. Their. Faces. Repeatedly.

From the Department of Here’s How A Fascist Dictator Works: Dilbert was caught on a hot mic telling a Fox News reporter to give him a favorable review of the first presidential Cabinet meeting of his second term. Trump’s banter with Lawrence Jones of Fox & Friends was caught on an Associated Press microphone as the media filed out of the meeting. Official Fluffer of the Dilbert Mushwoom Karoline Leavitt thanked members the press for attending the hour-long meeting, as Dilbert piped up, saying: “Thank you very much, Pulitzer Prize!” He noticed Jones leaving and added: “Lawrence! Look at Lawrence! This guy’s making a fortune! He never had it so good!”He then urged Jones, perhaps jokingly, to give him a good review. “Lawrence, say we did a great job, please. OK? Say it was unbelievable!” Allow me to say that every time I tell myself this fucking moron can’t be more of an embarrassment than he is, he comes along and says “Hold my Diet Coke!” That 77 million people who reside inside our borders - who I will never call “my fellow Americans” - think he has the ability to be president is more than I can stand. With luck, they’ll all die in the coming bird flu epidemic.

From the Department of RFK Jr Is A Motherfucking Piece of Shit: Only a month since Dilbert forced the United States to exit the World Health Organization, experts report that millions of lives are already at risk. WHO officials are sounding the alarm about an “unknown” disease in central Africa that kills within days and is spreading fast. 53 people are already dead, and the disease kills within 48 hours. The “significant public health threat” is taking lives in the Democratic Republic of Congo, a country facing one of the world’s worst humanitarian disasters due to decades of armed conflict. The disease first appeared in the village of Boloko, where three toddlers died after eating a bat carcass. Symptoms are similar to Ebola and Marburg—people vomit blood or have intense nose bleeds. Infected individuals experience diarrhea, headaches, muscle aches, and fatigue. 431 cases have been reported since January; it has a fatality rate of 12.3%. On Dilbert’s first day in office, he demanded that the CDC cut off all communication with the WHO. USAID, has been gutted, impacting global programs that combat disease and prevent it from spreading. So much winning!

From the Department of RFK Jr Is The Enemy of America: RFK Jr waved off the active Texas measles outbreak where pediatricians on the ground have reported children being accepted into care unable to properly breathe as a normal thing that happens every year. “There have been four measles outbreaks this year in this country, last year there were 16. It is not unusual, we have measles outbreaks every year.” In 2000, when there was an effective level of vaccinations before the anti-vax scum like Kennedy went into action, Measles was considered no longer a problem in the U.S. The first child has died from measles in 10 years in one unvaccinated community where there are over 100 cases. Measles outbreaks in the United States are considered rare. 2023 saw 59 cases and 2024 saw 285 cases in the entire year. The current outbreak in Texas has already seen 124 cases since January. The. Wrong. RFK. Was. Assassinated.

From the Department of Say Good-Bye To Your Flu Shot: RFK Jr.,has canceled a meeting of the FDA's Vaccine and Related Biological Products Advisory Committee (VRBPAC) scheduled for March 5 - next Wednesday. That’s the meeting where the committee was scheduled to select the flu strains to be included in next season’s flu vaccine shot. The VRBPAC is a panel of scientific experts that advises the FDA on vaccine policy. The committee meets every March to select the flu strains that will be included in the following season's vaccines. The vaccines are released in September, so the committee needs to meet in March to allow for a six-month production cycle. He has also ordered the CDC to stop its publicity campaign to encourage people to get the flu vaccine, and says he doesn't trust the experts on advisory committees, and that they often have “conflicts of interest.” He plans to replace members who he perceives to have these “conflicts of interest.” HHS spokesperson Andrew Nixon said the meeting is being “postponed to accommodate public comment in advance of the meeting.” (In other words, let the anti-vax loons) During his confirmation hearings, RFK Jr promised not to undermine the nation’s faith in immunizations. The assurances he provided helped clinch his confirmation, after Senate HELP Committee Chair Bill Cassidy said he received commitments that changes would not be made to the CDC’s vaccine committee. “If confirmed, he will maintain the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices without changes,” Cassidy said in a Feb. 4 Senate speech. I hope you’re happy, Senator Cassidy, you dumbass worthless piece of fucking Alligator Bait. The. Wrong. RFK. Was. Assassinated. Stock up on N95s now!

From the Department of Dilbert’s Revenge Will Never End: On Tuesday, Dilbert signed an executive order targeting the law firm representing former special counsel Jack Smith. The firm,

Covington & Burling LLP, currently represents Smith in a personal capacity and previously provided pro bono legal services to the special counsel’s office, according to White House Staff Secretary Will Scharf. The new executive order suspends the security clearance held by Smith’s attorney Peter Koski, along with those of any other attorneys at the firm who assisted Smith as special counsel, pending a review of their roles, if any, in the “weaponization of the judicial process.” It also directs the OMB to “terminate any engagement” with the firm. The action is a “major escalation” in Dilbert’s targeting of his perceived enemies. Security clearances give lawyers flexibility when working on cases involving national security issues and classified information. Suspending the clearances means defendants can’t use the lawyers of their choosing. In addition to Koski, who is a former public integrity prosecutor, Smith is being represented by Lenny Breuer, the former head of the Justice Department’s criminal division. The firm declined to say how many of his lawyers held security clearances. Asked on Tuesday whether his executive action was a form of political targeting, Dilbert responded, “I’ve been targeted for four years longer than that. So, you don’t tell me about targeting. I was the target of corrupt politicians for four years, and then four years after that. So don’t talk to me about targeting.” The difference, you senile old criminal, is that You. Are. A. Guilty. Criminal. Convicted of 34 Felonies. You fucking piece of shit. Go eat that damn hamberder, you scumbag Russian traitor.

From the Department of All these Traitors Should Be Hanged: House Republicans are becoming weary and wary of in-person town hall meetings after a number of lawmakers have faced hometown crowds angry about the Trump administration’s push to slash government programs and staffing that are popular with Republican voters. Party leaders suggest that if lawmakers feel the need to hold such events, they do tele-town halls or at least vet attendees to avoid scenes that become viral clips, according to GOP sources. A GOP aide said House Republican leaders are urging lawmakers to stop engaging in them altogether. Yes, “vet” them to be sure they’re MAGAmorons stupid enough to not realize how you’re assfucking them, Congressman Douchebag. Note to Democrats: "Democrats need to be more (X) in their opposition to Trump's policies" Confrontational: 68% Civil: 19% - YouGov / Feb 25, 2025.

From the Department of Putin’s Blowjobber Strikes Again: Putin’s Blowjobber, alleged “DNI” Tulsi Gabbard, is attempting to fire employees in the intelligence agencies who were involved in “DEI” activitity. A federal judge has ordered the agencies to put the firings on hold while he reviews the action. Several employees had sought reassignment, and are charging that Putin’s Blowjobber is violating employment regulations that provide a degree of due process.

From the Department of The Cruelty Is The Damn Point: A new Pentagon policy will ban troops from serving in a gender identity other than their sex assigned at birth. The Defense Department issued the policy late Wednesday directing the service branches to identify transgender servicemembers by March 26 and “separate” or remove those who don’t obtain waivers by June 25. The policy states there are only two sexes, which the judge in a lawsuit aiming to block the policy said scientists have widely contradicted. The policy states service members must use the bathing and shower facilities of their sex assigned at birth and not share bathing or sleeping facilities of another sex except in rare circumstances. The military also refused to pay for sex reassignment surgery, which was previously covered with a physician's recommendation. The fuckwittedness of the drunkard and his fellow scum is more than I can stand.

From the Department of Will The Supreme Court Save Dilbert Again?: Chief Justice John Roberts temporarily delayed a midnight deadline for the Trump administration to unfreeze nearly $2 billion in foreign aid payments, imposed by a lower judge who found the administration had flouted his ruling. The administration said it could not feasibly resume payments on the rapid timeline set by U.S. District Judge Amir Ali, who on Tuesday directed the State Department and U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) to resume funding for foreign aid contracts and grants by the end of Wednesday. “This new order requiring payment of enormous sums of foreign-assistance money in less than 36 hours intrudes on the prerogatives of the Executive Branch. The President’s power is at its apex—and the power of the judiciary is at its nadir—in matters of foreign affairs,” acting Solicitor General Sarah Harris wrote in the emergency motion to the high court. Roberts ordered the plaintiffs to respond in court filings by midday Friday. But for now, Roberts’s decision means the administration does not have to release the funding by midnight, handing Trump a temporary win in his broader effort to dismantle USAID. Prepare to not let your disappointment be overwhelming.

From the Department of This Is Important: An attorney for a Texas pipeline company said Wednesday at trial that he will prove various Greenpeace entities coordinated delays and disruptions of a controversial oil pipeline’s construction in North Dakota, and defamed the company to its lenders. Attorneys for Greenpeace told a jury there is no evidence to back up the claims by Dallas-based Energy Transfer, which seeks potentially hundreds of millions of dollars in damages from Greenpeace. The case is tied to protests in 2016 and 2017 of the Dakota Access Pipeline and its controversial Missouri River crossing upstream of the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe’s reservation. The tribe has long opposed the pipeline as a risk to its water supply. The pipeline was completed in 2017.Energy Transfer and its subsidiary Dakota Access allege trespass, nuisance, defamation, and other offenses by Netherlands-based Greenpeace International and its American branch, Greenpeace USA. The lawsuit also names the group’s funding arm, Greenpeace Fund Inc. Greenpeace paid professional protesters to come to the area, sent blockade supplies, organized or led protester trainings, passed “critical intel” to the protesters and told untrue things to stop the pipeline from being built, the plaintiffs’ attorney, Trey Cox, told the jury in his opening statement. Jury selection took place earlier in the week and the estimated five-week trial is now underway.

From the Department of Damn - Just Damn: A New Mexico sheriff says legendary actor Gene Hackman and his wife were dead for at least a day before their bodies were discovered in a Santa Fe home Wednesday afternoon. The chilling twist comes just hours after a local news station revealed authorities were unable to identify the couple until Thursday morning—at least 12 hours after they were found. The bodies of Hackman, 95, Betsy Arakawa, 64, and a dog were found by police after a concerned neighbor requested a welfare check. Santa Fe Sheriff Adan Mendoza. told TMZ his deputies have obtained a search warrant “in case” the investigation turns criminal. He added the couple could have “been victims of a double homicide, suicide, accidental death,” or simply died from “natural causes.” Two other dogs survived. The deaths of have now been deemed “suspicious” by police after an open pill bottle was discovered at the scene with “no obvious signs of gas leak.” Hackman, 95, Betsy Arakawa, 64, were found in different rooms of their New Mexico mansion—with one of their family dogs also dead in a closet. Police wrote that their discoveries were “suspicious enough in nature to require a thorough search and investigation.” And among the other oddities were that the Hackman home’s front door was open and a space heater was discovered near Arakawa’s head on a bathroom floor. I had the privilege of meeting him once when he was considering our script “The Magic Bus.” He was as cool a guy as you thought he was.

Here’s all the good news I could find:

Frm the Department of Dilbert Shoots Himself In His foot Again: Canada’s Conservatives looked like sure winners when Prime Minister Justin Trudeau resigned and set elections this next month. Then Dilbert came along and managed to do the impossible: he actually stepped on that Widdle Mushwoom of his. His threatened tariffs have turned the tide of Canada’s upcoming federal election against the country’s Conservatives. Six weeks ago, Trudeau’s Liberals were polling 26 points behind the Conservatives. Now, they have a 38-36 advantage, according to Ipsos. The sudden shift seems to be driven by anti-Trump sentiment spurred by his plan to impose a 25 percent import tax against Canada. he Ipsos poll indicated that 86 percent of Canadians agreed with the statement “We need a federal election immediately, so we have a Prime Minister and government with a strong mandate to deal with the tariff threat from President Trump.” Dilbert has also ramped up his antagonization of Canada, repeatedly suggesting that it become the “51st state.” The suggestion drew widespread rebukes from Canadians across the political spectrum, including Conservative Party leader Pierre Poilievre, who said in a January post, “Canada will never be the 51st state. Period. We are a great and independent country.” Poilievre’s stance was echoed by Trudeau, who wrote: “There isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that Canada would become part of the United States.” Thank god you are “the most determined ignoramus I ever met,” Dilbert, you fucking senile, smelly old traitor.

From the Department of Take Your Victories Where You Find Them: A right-wing think tank pressuring shareholders of large public companies to prohibit diversity, equity, and inclusion programs suffered a blowout defeat when they took their case to farming equipment manufacturer John Deere yesterday. "At John Deere's annual shareholders meeting today, shareholders overwhelmingly rejected an anti-DEI proposal," wrote Stearns on Bluesky. The proposal, brought to shareholders by the National Center for Public Policy Research, "received less than 1 percent of votes. Deere shareholders: DEI is in. Bigots are out." This is only the latest in a series of defeats for NCPPR, who lost by similar near-shutout margins when taking the same proposal to Costco and Apple. When Costco shut down its proposal, the company emphasized how good the wholesale bulk-buying club store's DEI policies, which seek to promote a more inclusive environment for racial and cultural minorities, were for business.

From the Depaetment of Fuck Elmo In His Face: Shares in Elmo’s Toy Swasticar company, where he makes shitty exploding cars that only work 75% of the time and can’t self-drive for shit, are down. As in D.O.W.N. Shares in electric car maker Tesla have slumped more than 9% after EU and UK sales fell by almost 50% in January. The drop in Tesla shares took the company's valuation back below $1trn for the first time since November 2024. Tesla has been facing stiff competition in the European market from Chinese and other manufacturers. Tesla sales in January bucked European electric car sale trends, which grew by more than a third in the month. Instead, Tesla sales across the EU, EFTA and the UK fell more than 45%, and more than 50% in the EU alone. Asked if the reason for Tesla's share price slump was down to Musk being too toxic, a former senior director of the car maker's Europe, Middle East and Asia division said it was "definitely one of the reasons for the decline." "There's no doubt his flirting with the right in politics, running around on TV with a chainsaw is not exactly helping his image," said Peter Bardenfleth-Hansen. Now we just need to convince the braindead White Lib’ruls Savin’ The Wurld on LA’s West Side to stop buying the damn things. Lord, let me get out of here so I don’t have to keep seeing those idiots in their Elmo Swasticars.

The hits just keep on coming, don’t they? I will keep on bringing them to you. Yur support as paid subscribers is deeply appreciated and very helpful. Onlyh $7/month or $70/year.

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