I normally cannot stand to watch 20 seconds of Dilbert spewing his gibberish on any topic because his voice sounds like a demented 5 year old and it’s fucking embarrassing to think there are 77 million drooling morons in this country stupid enough to think Dilbert is anything other than “the most determined ignoramus I ever met,” in the words of John Kelly. That said, watching any amount of Dilbert’s clown show at the Circus of Broken Toys, er, I mean CPAC, yesterday is proof of the serious “cognitive decline” the senile old sack of shit retard is deep in. (An old sociology prof whose class I once took propounded the theory that for every slur, there is a Real World Example - Dilbert is all the slurs there are, rolled into one animated mass of blubber) That those people can believe one word of that extended word salad is proof the theory there is another species of hairless biped descended from the East African Plains Ape: Homo Sap, the one lacking frontal lobes and opposable thumbs - is in fact accurate. That we have to treat these brainless hayseeds as the Serious Threat they are is truly embarrassing. They ARE the Confederacy of Dunces.
That said, consider the following, which is a Cognitive Decline Collection of Greatest Hits, each point of which was followed by massive applause from the cultists:
“The word tariff is my favorite word in the dictionary. You know, we were richest, the richest relatively, from — think of this — from 1870 to 1913. That was our richest. because we collected tariffs from foreign countries, that came in and took our jobs, took our money. took our everything, but they charged tariffs, and we had so much money they set up the 1887, think of that, long time ago, 1887 Tariff Commission, it was a commission of very important people, to determine where we should spend all of the tremendous vast wealth that we had. We had so much wealth. Wouldn’t it— nice today? Because now we give it away to transgender this, transgender that, everybody gets a transgender operation. just wonderful.”
This and the rest was followed by an extended period of the Fucked Up Auld Phart moving around on stage as he tried to keep up with “YMCA.” Again followed by massive applause.
He belongs in the Old Folks Home for the Seriously Dotty. That the country led by Franklin Roosevelt, which led the rest of the world in a successful campaign to defeat Nazis, now applauds Actual Nazis and thinks this fuckwit is Presidential Material, and that this decline happened in less than the lifetime of an American (me) born on the High Tide of the Republic in the year America Liberated The Planet is enough to send one screaming into the darkness. It took the Romans 248 years to achieve this between their victory in the Punic Wars and the decision to hand the Republic over to whatever Fuckwit managed to claw his way to the top of the garbage pile - We did it in less than 80 years, proving We are the Greatest! The greatest collection of fools, fuckwits, morons, idiots, droolers, dimbulbs, dildos, dumbasses, and yes, retards (the retards I am thinking of are the ones people think are such high quality retards that they send them to Congress). I am perhaps more aware of all the aboveat this time right now since later today I will jump in my time machine and go spend several hours in the company of The Generation That Really Was The Greatest while I attempt to deliver the next book by the contractually-agreed deadline at the end of next month.
All that said...
From the Department of You Knew this Would Happen: So Senator Cassidy voted for RFK Jr to promote the Return of Easily Treated Childhood Diseases - and this is what he got. The first day The Wrong Kennedy was in office, he did this: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention was ordered to shelve promotions it developed for a variety of vaccines, including a “Wild to Mild” advertising campaign urging people to get vaccinated against flu, two sources familiar with the decision told STAT. The HHS assistant secretary for public affairs informed the CDC that HHS Secretary RFK Jr. wanted advertisements that promote the idea of “informed consent” in vaccine decision-making instead. Informed consent is the principle that people should be notified of all the risks, as well as benefits, of any medical intervention they receive or any drug they are prescribed. It is a cornerstone of health care delivery. Shifting the framing of advertising for vaccines that the CDC has long recommended — like flu shots — to put more focus on the possible risks of vaccines could undermine people’s willingness to get vaccinated, or to have their children immunized. The decision to pull flu shot advertising is an early sign of how RFK Jr. may shift the U.S. approach to vaccinations as the nation’s top health official. Others came Thursday as well: The CDC’s influential vaccine advisory committee postponed a meeting scheduled for next week, and Politico reported that RFK Jr. may remove some members of that committee and other influential public health bodies, claiming they have conflicts of interest.
From the Department of Elmo Continues To Take Control: Before Leland Dudek was named Acting Social Security Administrator by Dilbert this past week, he was a data analyst working in a small anti-fraud office who the Social Security Administration was preparing to investigate on suspicion of sharing unauthorized access to Social Security information with Elmo’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Antisocial Basement Dwellers. It’s not clear what data Dudek shared, but his actions raised enough alarm that he violated privacy and tax laws that senior officials placed him on paid leave as they launched their investigation. The officials, including attorneys in the general counsel’s office, also were notified late last week that Dudek had sent harassing emails to employees in the agency’s personnel and security divisions to rush them to let several Elmo engineers gain access to agency computer systems. When Elmo learned last week that Dudek would be investigated, his chief information officer called acting commissioner Michelle King to demand answers. Then, on the Sunday of Presidents’ Day weekend, King received an email announcing that Dilbert had appointed Dudek to replace her. After being effectively forced out, King abruptly retired after 30 years’ service. Her acting chief of staff, Tiffany Flick, also retired. Only The. Best.
From the Department of Everything Dilbert Touches Dies: Following Dilbert’s takeover of the Kennedy Center, ticket sales have plummeted 50%. The Kennedy Center declined to comment on ticket sales or artist cancellations. “We want to make art great again,” Rick Grenell said Friday at CPAC, in his first public remarks since becoming interim president. He said the center would attract topline talent and host “a big, huge celebration of the birth of Christ at Christmas.” (The center routinely puts on Christmas events.) I’m waiting for the double bill of Ted Nugent and Toby Keith in the Concert To Celebrate AmeriKKKa on July Fourth.
From the Department of the GOP is Dilbet’s Cult: The hayseeds at CPAC approve of Dilbert, yes they do. 99% of the shitkicking white trash “apprrove,” while 95% of them “strongly approve.” The straw poll found that 99% said they believed Dilbert was doing an even better job during Maladministration II. Corporal Couchfucker was the overwhelming favorite to be his successor in 2028, receiving 61% support from the Young Men Who Only Want to Tell A Joke And Share A Beer. Various odes to Dilbert’s first millennium (It wasn’t that long? You’re sure?) in office were on display throughout the conference, including bedazzled jackets on sale with “Gulf of America” written on the back of them. A number of speakers criticized The AP for its policy of choosing to refer to the body of water as the “Gulf of Mexico” in its stylebook. Here’s the good news: the Circus For Dwellers In Mommie’s Basement appeared to be more low-key than in previous years. Smaller-than-usual crowds gathered throughout, including on media row. And overall, there appeared to be less media interest. There seemed to be fewer big-name speakers from the conservative (bowel) movement generally, proving that Conservative Intellectual is indeed an oxymoron. In the words of one reporter, “This created the appearance of a more siloed, niche event.”
From the Department of Jeff Bezos Is A Fucking Moron: OK, I get it, James Bond probably isn’t as important as everything above, but it’s Sunday and this story demonstrates how our culture has gone to shit since Silly Con Valley invaded Hollywood. Amazon announced this past Thursday that it has finally gained “creative control of the James Bond franchise” following a major new deal. This is the conclusion of one of Hollywood’s most heated battles. In December, a report from the Wall Street Journal revealed a behind-the-scenes fight over the fate of James Bond between Amazon and Amazon MGM Studios versus Barbara Broccoli, the rights holder of the 007 series. At that time, there was an uncertain future for Bond: Amazon wanted more - lots more, including spinoffs and “cinematic universes” a la Marvel Comic Book Movies and Disneyfied Star Bores Bullroar - and Broccoli wanted to preserve the monolithic legacy of the franchise. “These people are fucking idiots,” Broccoli reportedly said of Amazon (she’s right). Amazon paid $8.5 billion to acquire MGM in 2022 mostly to get control of Bond for more “content creation.” Amazon pushed Broccoli and her stepbrother Michael G. Wilson to follow 2021’s “No Time to Die,” with a more modern strategy - from left-field casting ideas to Moneypenny-focused TV projects (“Gag me with a spoon!” as the Valleygirl said). Broccoli didn’t budge. Broccoli has been heavily involved with creative decisions around the Bond franchise since 1987’s “The Living Daylights,” playing a key role in casting both Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig and their 30 years’ worth of Bond missions. The franchise as people know it is done. Welcome to James Bond as a @#$@#@!! Bad copy of a fucking Netflix TV movie “sound source” with all the intellectual shittiness of any Netflix Movie you can name. Bezos threw money at Broccoli and harassed her till she took the money and ran (it’s reportedly close to $10 billion). “My life has been dedicated to maintaining and building upon the extraordinary legacy that was handed to Michael and me by our father, producer Cubby Broccoli,” Barbara Broccoli said in a statement about the new Amazon deal. “I have had the honour of working closely with four of the tremendously talented actors who have played 007 and thousands of wonderful artists within the industry. With the conclusion of No Time to Die and Michael retiring from the films, I feel it is time to focus on my other projects.” Mike Hopkins, the failed TV executive who heads Prime Video and Amazon MGM Studios, said: “We are grateful to Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli for their unyielding dedication and their role in continuing the legacy of the franchise that is cherished by legions of fans worldwide. We are honored to continue this treasured heritage, and look forward to ushering in the next phase of the legendary 007 for audiences around the world.” Why does Orwell’s comment on “political language” spring to mind here? I guess there will be plenty of employment for the former Interns who Invaded Hollywood with their still-shiny Mother Fucking Awful degrees that prove they are too Artsticks, er, I mean artists.
From the Department of I May Not Be Religious But I Like Pope Frankie: Pope Francis was in critical condition Saturday after he suffered a long asthmatic respiratory crisis that required high flows of oxygen, the Vatican said. The 88-year-old Francis, who has been hospitalized for a week with pneumonia and a complex lung infection, also received blood transfusions after tests showed low counts of platelets, which are needed for clotting, associated with anemia. “The Holy Father’s condition continues to be critical, therefore, as explained yesterday (Friday), the Pope is not out of danger,” the statement said. It was the first time “critical” was used, in a written statement, to describe Francis’ condition. Doctors have said Francis’ condition is touch-and-go and that he is by no means out of danger. The update, which is drafted by Francis’ medical team but issued by the Vatican, also marked the first time the pope’s prognosis had been described as “reserved,” which suggests it’s in flux and requires close observation. I hate the thought of the Hide The Pedophiles Coalition Of The Red Beanies retaking power after he departs.
Here’s what good news I could find:
From the Department of When We Push They Cave: After overwhelming blowback from both sides of the aisle, Maladministration II agreed that DOGE will keep its hands off the World Trade Center Health Program, which provides medical care and monitoring to more than 100,000 9/11 first responders. Last week, Elon Musk took his DOGE bulldozer to the WTC Health Program and terminated 20 percent of its staff. The decision received very public criticism from both Democrats and Republicans, along with New Yorkers who have come to depend on the program. “The World Trade Center Health Program has been a lifeline to sickened 9/11 responders, who selflessly gave so much,” said FDNY Commissioner Robert Tucker in response to the news. “Cuts to its grant funding will limit our ability to prove that new conditions are WTC-related, and should be added to the list of covered conditions. This will hinder our efforts to provide treatment coverage for new conditions, which is a tragedy for all Americans who swore they would never forget.” GOP Rep. Nicole Malliotakis was joined by eight other New York and New Jersey lawmakers who wrote Trump Wednesday night urging him to reverse the harm Musk’s cost-cutting agency caused. The GOP House lawmakers wrote in their letter: “We urge you, as a native New Yorker who lived in New York City as it recovered from the 9/11 terrorist attacks, to reverse these actions by rehiring the terminated probationary staff, restoring the canceled FDNY research grant contract, and fencing off the WTC Health Program, which was authorized in statute as mandatory spending, from any further staff and funding reductions.” Malliotakis said Thursday night that the legislators “received confirmation from the White House that there will be no cuts to staffing at the World Trade Center Healthcare Program and research grants related to 9/11 illnesses.”
From the Department of Dilbert Always Wants To Fuck Over The Paid Help: Officials with the GSA told staff in emails sent last weekend that probationary workers who took Maladministration II’s deferred resignation offer would not necessarily be paid through Sept. 30, going back on a guarantee made to all federal workers. Instead, GSA leaders said probationary staff would see their payments stop when their probationary period expired, if that date came before the end date of the resignation program. Hours after the WaPo contacted the Office of Personnel Management about the issue, GSA reversed itself, communicating the decision in a note from the agency’s chief of staff that said, “Things change.” Probationary employees will receive their pay through Sept. 30 “regardless of their probation end date.” Timothy Snyder is right that Dilbert’s plan to be dictator is failing; when there is pushback to their moves, they fold. Real dictatorships don’t do that, as Professor Snyder has noted.
From the Department of Elmo Continues His Usurpation: According to reports, on Saturday morning Elmo informed federal employees they will need to begin summarizing their accomplishments each week or face losing their jobs. In an email sent to federal employees across various departments on Saturday, the order read, “Please reply to this email with approx. 5 bullets of what you accomplished this week and cc your manager.” In a post on Xitter (that’s pronounced “shitter”), Elmo added, “Failure to respond will be taken as a resignation.” He used this tactic to clean house following his takeover at Twitter, something he acknowledged in a follow-up that read, “Parag got nothing done. Parag was fired.” Parag refers to Twitter’s former CEO Parag Agrawal, who was let go soon after Elmo’s acquisition of the site. However, K$h Patel told the surviving members of the FBI that they don’t have to stop packing their bags for the move to Huntsville to fill out one of these. The. Coup. Continues.
In closing, here’s more on the Friday Night Massacre at the Pentagon:
Observers have pointed out that the Supreme Court’s decision granting presidential immunity to Dilbert for anything he does in office as president means that the concept of an “illegal order” that the military must disobey has been taken off the table.
UPDATE NOTE: several lawyers point out that while Dilbert would be OK, anyone following an order that was illegal would still be liable for so doing. I hope that word gets wide distribution.
This means that Dilbert’s likely coming orders to invoke the Insurrection Act and fire on civilian demonstrators would be obeyed by military leaders. This likelihood is strengthened by the fact that the three Judge Advocates General of the Army, Navy and Air Force were also fired on Friday Night with the three senior officers seen as most likely to resist such orders. The three JAG leaders would have the authority to declare any orders illegal following the UCMJ. Their replacements will most likely be military lawyers who will bend to the looming dictatorship the way the leadership of the Department of Justice and FBI already have and will continue to do. As one legal observer said, “This is what you do when you’re planning to issue illegal orders.”
With the new replacement Judge Advocates General supporting invocation of the Insurrection Act, the entire military can be expected to follow those orders (those who would prefer to follow the 1968 example of The Fort Hood 43 who refused to get on the planes to go to Chicago and beat heads at the Democratic Convention would suffer their fate). There is no doubt that Dilbert is waiting for an incident that can be stretched into something big enough to make invocation of the Insurrection Act “necessary.” He has wanted to do this since early in Maladministration I when he was faced with large demonstrations against his taking office in 2017 and when he wanted troops to “shoot them in their legs” during the George Floyd demonstrations in 2020..
The military was the last constitutionally loyal institution. The Domestic security agencies - DOJ and FBI - and the Intelligence Community have already fallen with the appointment of the Bondi Bimbo to head the DOJ, K$H Patel to the FBI, and “Putin’s Girlfriend” Tulsi Gabbard as DNI. This means that all the “Power Centers” in government are now under the control of extremists with the power - and willingness - to carry out the Project 2025 plan that Dilbert is following.
Before Dilbert was returned to office by those more concerned with the price of eggs than the maintenance of our constitutional democratic republic, Putin’s Russia was facing total defeat. Now Putin can look at the serious prospect of not just winning in Ukraine and asserting dominance over all of Europe, but to the added bonus of the complete destruction of the United States, not through force but through cognitive warfare techniques that convinced us our friends and neighbors are enemies and dictatorship is preferable to democracy, aided by the traitors of the Republican party too weak to take up their constitutional responsibilities and oppose the Traitor-in-Chief and his cabal of criminals. All accomplished by the 50-year project to Dumbificaton of America by the Edumacation Establishment.
Our defense is to continue to resist and to take heart from the fact the majority of the public is seeing Trump’s actions for what they are and opposition is growing. As the estimable Robert Hubbell said to me last night, “I suspect that millions of Americans would stand in front of the military with orders to kill Americans and say, ‘Go ahead, shoot.’ I would. If they did, that would be the end for Trump, Hegseth, et al. They are living in a third-person shooter game in their minds. Kill one civilian in real life and they are Nazis, forever.” He’s right.
Even when the shit seems endless, as you might well suspect I think from this edition of Poking Around, we have to keep on keeping on. If That’s Another Fine Mess helps you to do that, I hope you will consider supporting this work as a paid subscriber. It’s only $7/month or $70/year.
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"Observers have pointed out that the Supreme Court’s decision granting presidential immunity to Dilbert for anything he does in office as president means that the concept of an “illegal order” that the military must disobey has been taken off the table." The observers are wrong. Unless the underlying law is changed, an illegal order is still illegal, the issuer, having immunity, just can't be prosecuted for it. Anyone following such an order, however, would be subject to prosecution and, if convicted, appropriate penalty. Any JAG who counsels otherwise should be made to join their deceived clients in that punishment. If the DoDrunk follows through on his discharge threat, I'd hope the three service JAGs would sue as Hegseth has no immunity from anything, and "Befehl ist befehl" has never been a great defense.
I hope I’ll be brave and tough enough to be one of the millions to stand up to the military if (when) they obey trump’s unlawful orders. Good to be in the company of other resisters.