POKING AROUND AT THE END OF WEEK TWO

Charlie Sykes is right, he’s an “un-president” and I will be using that term from here on.

There are 641 days until the midterm elections.

From the Department of This Is Still A Problem: In the decades since the end of the Cold War, childhood Boomer memories of hiding under our desks as kids have receded, and two whole generations are now adults who have never even thought about nuclear war. That doesn’t mean it’s gone away, as my friend Tom Englehardt noted yesterday in his TomDispatch. Some notable facts to not toss in the wastebasket: There are 12,000 nuclear weapons on Earth, the vast majority being thousands of times more powerful than the bombs that destroyed Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Worse yet, the U.S. is planning the “modernization” of the U.S. nuclear arsenal - to the tune of $1.7 to $2 trillion dollars - to create new Sentinel ICBMs, a new stealth bomber, and new Columbia-class nuclear missile submarines. It gets worse: former one-term congressman and (of course!) multimillionaire Brandon Williams, named by President Buford P. Bumble to be head of the National Nuclear Security Administration within the Department of Energy, is expected to restart testing of American nuclear weapons, something that hasn’t happened since President Bill Clinton signed a nuclear test ban treaty that Congress refused to ratify.

From the Department of You Knew He Would Go There: Un-President Dildo J. Fuckwit had a session in the White House Press room yesterday, where he blamed diversity initiatives at the FAA for weakening safety following a deadly midair collision near Reagan National Airport. He called the event “a tragedy of terrible proportions.” His solemn tone quickly gave way to lambasting the Biden and Obama administrations, taking aim specifically at hiring initiatives. He cited efforts by the FAA to hire individuals with disabilities, including dwarfism, missing limbs and intellectual disabilities. “A group within the FAA determined that the workforce was too white, then they had concerted efforts to get the administration to change that and to change it immediately. This was in the Obama administration.Trump also blasted Pete Buttigieg, who served as Transportation secretary during the Biden administration, saying “He runs it, 45,000 people, and he’s run it right into the ground with his diversity.” (Buttigieg called Trump’s comments “despicable.” They are.) Asked how he could be so sure diversity played a role in the crash when he acknowledged himself the air traffic controllers may not have done anything wrong, he told reporters it was because he has “common sense.” Reality TV star turned Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy said “Obviously, it is not standard to have aircraft collide. I want to be clear on that,” responding to a reporter’s question. So far, people are not impressed by his observation. “Oh, thanks for making that clear, genius,” one social media poster wrote. Another said, “This is what happens when you give reality TV personalities real jobs.” FACT CHECK: Standing in the way of beefing up the number of air traffic controllers is a Maladministration-ordered federal hiring freeze, effective across the entire government. The hiring of such personnel is required by law under the FAA Reauthorization Act of 2024, which specifically mandates hiring the maximum number of air traffic controllers. BTW, during Maladministration I, Un-President fuckwit left the Obama Rules he just decried, in place without any comment. (For the record, having known several dwarves, intellectual ability was not a problem for them.)

From the Department of These Morons Are Soooo Fucking Stupid: In just her second week on the job, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt is breaking new ground in creating bad news for her boss. After the Un-President Fuckwit Maladministration put out their Executive Order stopping all federal expenditures on Monday night, there was universal freakout from Democrats, Republicans, and MAGAts on Tuesday. A Reagan-appointed federal judge put a restraining order on it Tuesday evening that didn’t stop everything, setting arguments on the situation for this next Monday. Faced with their Giant Fakakte, the OMB geniuses then rescinded the memo Tuesday night. Situation solved, right? Not so fast. Presidential Fluffer Karoline Leavitt then went on Xitter (That’s pronounced “Shitter”) on Wednesday morning to show us that up is down and day is night with a post declaring, “This is NOT a rescission of the federal funding freeze. It is simply a rescission of the OMB memo. Why? To end any confusion created by the court’s injunction. The President’s EO’s on federal funding remain in full force and effect, and will be rigorously implemented.” That little gem puzzled the federal judge in Rhode Island who was hearing the suit brought by 22 State Attorneys General to block the memo. He took a look at Ms. Bimbo’s baloney and granted a Temporary Restraining Order against the s funding freeze that stopped the whole thing in its tracks, kit and kaboodle, citing “Confusing statements from Press Sec Karoline Leavitt,” and calling the OMB memo revocation “a distinction without a difference.” And then he commented about “complete incompetence from the administration.” Newly-elected Rep. Dave Min (D-CA) on her: “Karoline Leavitt is a fake Christian, like so many in the Golden Calf administration.” He said she lied repeatedly about the funding freeze “while wearing a giant cross to let everyone know how pious and moral she is, even as she is so comfortable stating a bald-face lie to hundreds of millions of people. As a person of faith, I find it appalling that this admin uses religion to advance an agenda while lying through their teeth about what they are doing.” She may be 27 and blonde and Un-President Fuckwaddle’s tiny mushroom may get a tingle when he watches her walk out of the Oval, but Karoline Leavitt continues the tradition of all Trumpscum of being Dumber. Than. Shit. Which is a good thing for our side.

From the Department of They Are Finally Getting The Message, Maybe: Yesterday, Senate Democrats took the call to resist Un-President Beauregard G. Dumbass seriously. Democrats on the Budget Committee boycotted the meeting to advance the nomination of Russ Vought to be the director of the OMB. Budget Committee Democrats called for the vote to be postponed, but after Republicans refused, the Democrats posted: “Budget Committee Democrats are boycotting today's committee vote on Russell Vought's nomination to OMB. We will not vote for someone so clearly unfit for office.” By not casting a ballot, Democrats refused to give Vought’s nomination legitimacy. President Dumbass doesn’t have a sweeping mandate or the will of the people behind him. He was elected by the narrowest victory margin in a presidential election in American history and according to polls was the least-popular president to ever take office since polling began.

From the Department of Oh Gee Another Maladministration Shitstorm: The Maladministration’s attempt to follow Elmo’s example at Xitter (That’s pronounced “Shitter”) in offering an alleged “buyout” to federal employees who resign “is raising questions about its implementation and legality.” (Surprise! Surprise!) Elmo did in fact have a hand in coming up with this. (More surprise!) Musk personally visited the OPM’s offices Friday, and several of his longtime surrogates have been installed in senior leadership roles at its offices. “It looked like another rushed Trump scam to me,” said Sen. Chris Van Hollen, who called the move the “brainchild of Elon Musk.” “We know that Donald Trump has a history of not following through on commitments.” Jacqueline Simon, policy director at the American Federation of Government Employees, posted: “We’re under a [continuing resolution] that expires in mid-March, and so the whole idea of promising full pay and benefits for no work for seven months or eight months … We can’t find the legal authority that OPM has to do this, rather than the agencies themselves. It’s a great illustration of the old adage that if a thing seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t true.” Legal experts who spoke to The Hill said the move likely violates the Antideficiency Act, which bars the government from spending beyond what is dictated in its budget and requires it to use federal funding as intended. Congress hasn’t voted funding for a mass worker buyout, and the president doesn’t have the right to spend money without Congressional authorization. The “administrative leave” language was probably intended as a way to get around that little problem. But the law makes it clear that federal employees can be placed on administrative leave for no more than 10 days in a calendar year. The Un-President Fuckwit motto: “Government rules? Government rules! We don’t need no steenking government rules!”

From the Department of Do Not Go Easily: Security agents escorted the inspector general of the U.S. Department of Agriculture Phyllis Fong, a 22-year veteran of the department, out of her office on Monday after she refused to comply with her firing by the administration. Fong had earlier told colleagues that she intended to stay after the White House terminated her Friday, saying that she didn’t believe the administration had followed proper protocols, the sources said. Of course, they didn’t because the Un-President Shitforbrains motto is: “Government rules? Government rules! We don’t need no steenking government rules!” (my apologies to The Treasure of the Sierra Madre) This now sets up a nice lawsuit against the action. Which the bozos will lose, since the rules on how to get rid of an inspector general are clearly written in law.

From the Department of There She Goes Again: Congressional bridge troll Marjorie Traitor Goon introduced a resolution (H.Res.26) Thursday which deems "certain conduct of members of Antifa as domestic terrorism and designates Antifa as a domestic terrorist organization.” If this passes, it could allow the government to label protesters terrorists and charge them as such. The resolution already has four co-sponsors and has been referred to the House Judiciary Committee. Remember that a Resolution is not a bill to become a law. It’s a tool for this evil bimbo to say she wants to see something happen, not that it will. (But don’t put it past these evil fucks to turn it into a bill)

From the Department of Welcome To North Korea: at yesterday’s Dear Leader Pronouncement event, Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy began it by praising him: "I would just note, the president's leadership has been remarkable during this crisis." Then alleged SecDef Pete Hegseth poured himself out of his bottle to say : “I want to echo that, Mr. President, about your leadership from the moment this happened.” Obviously, they all got the memo on the first requirement of the job. Remember that godawful “cabinet meeting” in the First Nightmare, where they all told their story of “receiving blessings” from the un-president? Or the “Ivermectin is good for us and thank you Dear Leader for showing us” embarrassments during COVID? . Also ten generations-inbred hillbilly Proof that Mark Twain Was Right “congressman” Andy Ogles, who just filed the bill to amend the Constitution so White House occupier Beauregard J. Blather can serve a 3rd term: “Was it human error, equipment failure, or did DEI play some kind of role in this?” And Senator Tom Cottonbrain, who should have been fragged in Iraq: “We need officials at the heads of these departments. It’s important we move forward promptly for accountability and so we have officials leading this vital work.” These sycophantic wastes of DNA all need to be beaten with baseball bats.

From the Department of Consistency Is Not Something These Morons Understand: Kristi Noem’s much-hyped operation in NYC, where she appeared in a bulletproof ICE vest for the cameras with freshly filled lips and her best hair extensions, netted 20 arrests: 12 arrests of people with a past criminal history, 8 arrests of people with no criminal history at all. President Blather’s Favorite Bimbo then told Fox she has rescinded an 18-month extension of Temporary Protected Status for Venezuela granted by Biden just before leaving the White House. Florida has the largest population of TPS migrants in the country; 60% are from Venezuela. MAGA Rep. Maria Elvira Salazar, represents a huge Venezuelan immigrant community in Miami: “Venezuela’s dictator Nicolas Maduro jails, beats, rapes, and kills anyone who speaks against him,” which is why she “supported TPS for Venezuelans fleeing political persecution.” One of Un-President Blather’s final acts in office in 2021 was extending TPS for Venezuelans; he said then that sending them back would be “catastrophic” given the situation in their country. Senator Marco Rubio said that deporting Venezuelans would be a “death sentence” for them. The gang that can’t think straight strikes again.

From the Department of This Guy Needs To Meet The Same Fate As Reinhard Heydrich. Un-President Dumberthanfuck’s Pogrom Czar Tom Homan isn’t happy with the pace of deportations so far. He the Sturm Abteilung, er, I mean ICE, setting a quota of at least 75 arrests a day for each of the agency’s 25 offices. When asked about this, Homan said “we need more deportations” but denied setting a quota. He wants to start using the military: “I want them very involved, what happened in the last 4 years is the biggest national security vulnerability.” He’s going to need a lot more money: “The more money we have, the more successful we're going to be. More money for beds, more money for operations." Another candidate for a baseball bat in the face. Repeatedly.

From the Department of Mayor Adams Is Innocent That’s Why: Senior DOJ officials recently held discussions with federal prosecutors in Manhattan about the possibility of dropping their corruption case against NYC Mayor Eric Adam. They spoke to Adams’ lawyer Alex Spiro, who also happens to be the personal lawyer for Elmo. Adams was indicted in September for bribery, fraud and soliciting illegal foreign campaign contributions. He went to Mar-a-Lago to have a private meeting with Un-President Cletus J. Bumfuck, and also attended his inauguration. But Adams claims that he never discussed his case or a pardon with Un-President Beauregard G. Blather at either event. Did you know that pigs can fly just like birds?

From the Department of Two Steps forward, One Back: After Senate Democrats showed they could learn to resist by walking out of the vote for Russ Vought, too goddamned many of them decided to be collegial Thursday night and advance the nomination of former Rep. Doug Collins, who in December 2020 signed an amicus brief seeking to invalidate former Joe Biden’s victory the month before. By a vote of 83-13, the Senate surpassed the 60-vote threshold to invoke cloture to end debate and advance Un-President Buford P. Ivermectin’s nominee as Secretary of Veterans Affairs to a straight up or down vote. In December 2020, Collins and 125 other Hpuse Republicans signed an amicus brief in a lawsuit brought by Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, to invalidate the results in Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. But on Thursday night, 31 of the 47 Democrats in the Senate voted to move Collins’ nomination forward. When Ruth Bader Ginsburg died in September 2020, Collins tweeted, “RIP to the more than 30 million innocent babies that have been murdered during the decades that Ruth Bader Ginsburg defended pro-abortion laws. With @realDonaldTrump nominating a replacement that values human life, generations of unborn children have a chance to live.” What the fuck is wrong with these fucking 1940 French Generals?

From the Department of the Gang That Can’t Think Straight Still Can’t Think Straight: Yesterday Un-President Patrocious J. Fuckup was bragging about putting massive tariffs on Mexico and Canada. Today the Wall Street Journal reports his team is looking for a way out of it because it will fuck up the economy. Is anyone surprised? As an old friend of mine used to say, “These people haven’t got the brains god promised a crowbar.” Bless their little tiny pea-pickin’ hearts.

I can’t do any more.

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