TC, this was a really well presented discussion. You make sense in every paragraph. And it rings true for me because the single biggest reason I wanted to finish school and "get out of Dodge" was the bullying factor. I was a target for another reason. I was the "weak cat of the litter" in my school. I walked with metal/leather strapped b…
TC, this was a really well presented discussion. You make sense in every paragraph. And it rings true for me because the single biggest reason I wanted to finish school and "get out of Dodge" was the bullying factor. I was a target for another reason. I was the "weak cat of the litter" in my school. I walked with metal/leather strapped brace - polio before the vaccine.
I too found strength in my own ways. I learned how to use humor to disarm and how not to irritate the bullies somehow. But I watched as they shifted their venomous attacks to other kids - like the Jewish kid with a big nose who had the audacity to have a beautiful Irish red head girlfriend. They would surround him, taunt him and then beat the crap out of him. All because this "different" dude had what they couldn't get. He had that girlfriend because he was such a nice guy. So..."Let's get him!"
I learned how to fade into the woodwork, do my own thing, find my own interests, and other friends who were not part of the bullying clique. Polio taught me two things. First, no amount of pain will ever be that bad for me. If I could survive and thrive after that, I could get through anything. Polio made me tougher. I have a very high threshold for pain. And, if you have such an obvious impairment, you would have to have a heart of granite if you didn't feel some sympathy for anyone who might be a little different. So polio also gave me the gift of empathy.
Ramos could have been rescued years ago. You are so right. Sadly, he didn't have the same skills that we were able to marshal by ourselves. There are millions of these situations across the country. Powder kegs ready to explode because we don't consider investing in the social services that we have the science to understand. We are sliding back to some perverse dark ages.
I'm old enough to have known kids who got polio, including a couple who died. I don't think I ever looked forward more to getting a shot than I did when our family doctor called and said he had it and come get it. There were two kids who were like you with crutches at school. As I recall, they were left alone. We were friends - I guess they used their empathy to figure me out.
There is *nothing* more fun for a guy like us than having the coolest girlfriend of all - there is no better "punch in the nose" to the bullying jocks. When I got to college, the first week of fall semester I met a young woman in her "Jackie Kennedy suit" including pillbox hat. Margaret Anne "Tiffany" Thompson (at a time when a nickname like that was not used by anyone) - as smart as she was beautiful (she'd been Miss Washington 1964 and third runner-up to Miss America) - and she liked me! After we'd gone out a few times, I had the temerity to ask why I was so lucky (that's not a question you should ever ask, you revel in your good luck and don't question it). Her answer was "Because you take me seriously." That was a life lesson I have followed ever since, and there has never been a shortage of quality women to get to know using that strategy. Once when we were having pizza at the local joint, we actually overheard a table full of jocks say "What's *she* doing with that peacenik?" We both laughed. Fortunately by then I had been in the Navy and as the only Vietnam vet on campus, the jocks weren't sure what to do with me so they left me alone and I was fine with that. But the thought of how pissed off it made them to just walk down the street with her always put a smile on my face.
TC, this was a really well presented discussion. You make sense in every paragraph. And it rings true for me because the single biggest reason I wanted to finish school and "get out of Dodge" was the bullying factor. I was a target for another reason. I was the "weak cat of the litter" in my school. I walked with metal/leather strapped brace - polio before the vaccine.
I too found strength in my own ways. I learned how to use humor to disarm and how not to irritate the bullies somehow. But I watched as they shifted their venomous attacks to other kids - like the Jewish kid with a big nose who had the audacity to have a beautiful Irish red head girlfriend. They would surround him, taunt him and then beat the crap out of him. All because this "different" dude had what they couldn't get. He had that girlfriend because he was such a nice guy. So..."Let's get him!"
I learned how to fade into the woodwork, do my own thing, find my own interests, and other friends who were not part of the bullying clique. Polio taught me two things. First, no amount of pain will ever be that bad for me. If I could survive and thrive after that, I could get through anything. Polio made me tougher. I have a very high threshold for pain. And, if you have such an obvious impairment, you would have to have a heart of granite if you didn't feel some sympathy for anyone who might be a little different. So polio also gave me the gift of empathy.
Ramos could have been rescued years ago. You are so right. Sadly, he didn't have the same skills that we were able to marshal by ourselves. There are millions of these situations across the country. Powder kegs ready to explode because we don't consider investing in the social services that we have the science to understand. We are sliding back to some perverse dark ages.
I'm old enough to have known kids who got polio, including a couple who died. I don't think I ever looked forward more to getting a shot than I did when our family doctor called and said he had it and come get it. There were two kids who were like you with crutches at school. As I recall, they were left alone. We were friends - I guess they used their empathy to figure me out.
There is *nothing* more fun for a guy like us than having the coolest girlfriend of all - there is no better "punch in the nose" to the bullying jocks. When I got to college, the first week of fall semester I met a young woman in her "Jackie Kennedy suit" including pillbox hat. Margaret Anne "Tiffany" Thompson (at a time when a nickname like that was not used by anyone) - as smart as she was beautiful (she'd been Miss Washington 1964 and third runner-up to Miss America) - and she liked me! After we'd gone out a few times, I had the temerity to ask why I was so lucky (that's not a question you should ever ask, you revel in your good luck and don't question it). Her answer was "Because you take me seriously." That was a life lesson I have followed ever since, and there has never been a shortage of quality women to get to know using that strategy. Once when we were having pizza at the local joint, we actually overheard a table full of jocks say "What's *she* doing with that peacenik?" We both laughed. Fortunately by then I had been in the Navy and as the only Vietnam vet on campus, the jocks weren't sure what to do with me so they left me alone and I was fine with that. But the thought of how pissed off it made them to just walk down the street with her always put a smile on my face.
Do you really think that all Salvador lacked was your skills?
No, of course not. I had supportive parents.