BOND VILLAIN #1 IS OUT - UPDATED

The nomination of pedophile childfucker Matt Gaetz as Attorney General didn’t even last “a full Scaramucci” - the ten day period it took Anthony Scaramucci to sign on to working for Trump before he was fired.

Gaetz's withdrawal from consideration to be attorney general came just 45 minutes after CNN asked him about allegations of a second sexual encounter with a 17-year-old girl.

CNN reported: "The woman, who was 17 years old at the time, testified that the second sexual encounter, which has not previously been reported, included another adult woman. She also testified to both sexual encounters in a civil deposition as part of a related lawsuit, sources said."

OK, so that’s worse than the testimony that he fucked her on a pool table.

Michelle Cottle wrote in the NYT, “For those who care about checks and balances, Gaetzgate was about so much more than the political fate of a proud poster boy for arrested development who has the morals of a coked-up bonobo. Trump’s decision to put him forward was an early, gross-out test for the president-elect’s entire Senate team."

Senate Republicans were breathing a deep sigh of relief.

Incoming chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee Senator Roger Wicker welcomed Gaetz’s decision to withdraw as “a positive development.” He can now get busy bending over a spreading for El Jefe Del Mar-A-Lardass by installing the other sex predator, Pete Hegseth, as SecDef.

Wyoming Senator Cynthia Lummis said Gaetz made the right decision given the serious “headwinds” he faced on Capitol Hill. “He must have gotten some signals yesterday during conversations he was having with senators that this was going to be a distraction. Good on him to recognize that and be self-aware.”

South Dakota Senator Mike Rounds said he wasn’t surprised by Gaetz’s decision. “These things always work out for the best. In this particular case, they made the right choice to withdraw the nomination. “I won’t argue with their reasoning, as long as the withdrawal has been completed.”

Not all GOP senators were happy about the announcement, however. Senator Skeletor, who served with Gaetz in Florida’s congressional delegation, said “I’m disappointed. Matt’s smart. He would change the way the DOJ has done it,” accusing the Justice Department of “lawfare” against President-elect Trump and his allies during the Biden administration.

Trump’s second term strategy to command authority over Republican senators may only be just beginning.

With Gaetz, the MAGA king was watching to see if there was a line that his Senate subjects would not yet cross. Cottle wrote that, “His Modus Operandi is to relentlessly pressure-test people and institutions. Those who don’t crumble at first are hit again. And again. The goal is to shatter the resisters’ spines, one vertebra at a time if necessary, so that they don’t just bow before him but rather collapse in a gelatinous blob."

When Gaetz resigned his seat in Congress after Trump nominated him as the next attorney general, he stated, “I do not intend to take the oath of office for the same office in the 119th Congress to pursue the position of Attorney General in the Trump administration.”

So it’s definite he’s running for Florida Governator, on the platform of “See what they do to us real ‘Murrikins?”

Surprise surprise, the MAGA Shitbird Chorus had a meltdown over the news.

MAGA Influencer Matt Wallace posted, "Super disappointed Matt Gaetz was forced by the elites to drop out. They probably threatened his life because most of them have done crimes so graphic I can’t even describe them here. They can’t have someone like Matt investigating them."

Don Wick posted a meme: "The Establishment isn't afraid of Trump's nominations being unqualified. The Establishment is afraid of being dismantled by them."

Commentator Joseph Pino posted: "We didn't win in a landslide to allow a handful of elitist Senators get in our way. Full steam ahead." I’m sorry, fuckface, but a 1.6% margin of “victory” isn’t in the same universe with a “landslide.” Unless maybe you’re talking about “Landslide Lyndon” Johnson’s 1948 Senate victory.

Failed MAGA candidate Valentina Gomez, who made headlines telling Black people to leave America on Juneteenth, burned books with a flame thrower, and told people not to be "weak and gay," urged Gaetz to try for the Florida Senate seat left vacant by Marco Rubio, posting, "Come hell or high water, I have your back Matt. Florida needs a man built for the battle in the Senate. That person is you." Apparently Valentina is “out of the loop,” since The Word in Florida has long been that Gatez had his eye on replacing Governor Insanity.

Rumble pundit Kevin Smith posted, "As a friend It kills me to hear this. As an American, we as a nation will miss out on your leadership at the DOJ."

George, a conservative influencer watchdog group Snopes linked to the spread of election misinformation, posted, "What the swamp has done to you is truly sickening."

Conservative influencer Paul A. Szypula posted, "Gaetz would’ve been an amazing AG. He’s 100% MAGA."

Kylie Jane Kremer, Executive Director for the Woman for America First, wrote, "WTF?! We want YOU, Matt Gaetz to lead the DOJ! We gave DJT a mandate and he chose you!"

Alex Jones reacted to the news Gaetz had assaulted the 17 year old girl at least twice with all the grace one can expect from this animated turd: "I treat women super nice. So does Trump. Women love me. And so, I mean, I know what's happening to Gaetz." He went on to say, “They interviewed a bunch of the women on Gaetz, you know, that are all like 35, 40 years old now, because this goes back 12, 13, 40, 50 years. The women, they said, oh, that guy's so nice. Oh yeah, I did date him. Yeah, you know, I did have sex with him in a hotel room. We took ecstasy. It was me and two other girls." He finished with the observation that the girl Gaetz allegedly assaulted was "super gorgeous."

And these asswipes wonder why most of them are involuntarily celibate.

Former Rep. Adam Kinzinger proclaimed, "Bond villain #1 is out."

Indeed.

UPDATE FROM CNN: Trump named former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi as his pick to serve as US attorney general after Matt Gaetz withdrew from consideration earlier. Bondi was closely allied with Trump during thefirst Trump administration. Posting on Untruth Antisocial, Trump said: "For too long, the partisan Department of Justice has been weaponized against me and other Republicans — Not anymore. Pam will refocus the DOJ to its intended purpose of fighting Crime, and Making America Safe Again."

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