Of course Clarence Thomas would come to the White House to swear in Florida Bimbo Pam Bondi as Dilbert’s Personal Attorney General. And of course Dilbert would be thee to say “I know I’m supposed to say she’s going to be totally impartial with respect to Democrats, and I think she will be as impartial as a person can be. I’m not sure if there’s a possibility of totally, but she’s going to be as total as you can get. But she’s going to be fair, and she’ll lead the Department of Justice in crushing violent crime, demolishing the gangs, which are all over the place.”
And of course the first thing she would do after she got over to her office at the new Department of Injustice would be to launch probes of Jack Smith’s January 6 Insurrection and Mar-A-Lago Document Theft cases, and then announce an investigation of New York DA Alvin Bragg’s successful prosecution of Dilbert, who was found guilty 34 times on felonies involved with lying to the public about his involvement with Stormy Daniels, and New York Attorney General Letitia James’ successful prosecution of Dilbert’s mafia gang, the Trump Organization, on that bunch’s illegal business practices.
And of course this would be the first thing she would do after swearing ever-so-solumnly in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee during her confirmation hearing that she would not take any “retribution” against anyone over the Trump cases “until I have had opportunity to fully review the facts in the matter.” She claimed in the hearing that, “Every case will be prosecuted based on the facts and the law that’s applied in good faith, period. Politics have got to be taken out of the system. This department has been weaponized for years and years and years, and it has to stop.”
Like most MAGAts testifying in confirmation hearings - from Unsupreme Court Injustices to anyone else in the Dilbert criminal gangs - She Lied!
This is all part of the campaign against “weaponization” of law enforcement against poor widdle innocent Dilbert, who has been persecuted all his life by people who want to prevent his wonderfulness from being recognized by all.
The memos - the issuance of which was first reported by Faux Snooze, are part of planned efforts to investigate and undo legal moves from the Biden administration, setting the tone for Bondi’s term as the top law enforcement official in the country. One memo establishes a “Weaponization Working Group” to review law enforcement actions enacted under the Biden administration for any examples of “politicized justice.” That review will cover cases brought by former special counsel Jack Smith over Trump’s handling of classified documents and 2020 election interference, Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s hush-money case that led to a conviction and a case from New York Attorney General Letitia James, in which she won a $454 million civil fraud judgment against Trump. Dilbert has challenged the legitimacy of both cases in court and numerous judges rejected his arguments and declined to throw them out. But now that he’s the Press-U-Dint, it’s another matter.
A second memo warns career Justice Department officials that they cannot substitute their own political beliefs for the arguments that the Trump administration puts forward in court, and that if they try, they will be subject to disciplinary action or termination. “The discretion afforded Justice Department attorneys with respect to those responsibilities does not include latitude to substitute their personal political views or judgments for those that prevailed in the election.”
Bondi also plans to establish a new task force focused on Hamas’ October 7, 2023, attack in Israel. That task force, she said, will bring criminal charges against Hamas leadership and investigate anti-Semitism in the United States. Yeah, I’m sure she’ll be going after all the anti-Semites Dilbert has defended since the Charlottsville “Jews Will Not Replace Us” riot. Yep, no doubt about it. But watch out if you’re a student or a professor at ColumbiaHarvardYaleEtc.
She will also create guidelines that reaffirm an earlier directive from Dilbert Defense Attorney General Emil Bove, telling the department to pause all federal funding for sanctuary cities and evaluate all funding agreements with NGOs that provide support to migrants who are in the United States illegally.
She will also reaffirm earlier memos Bove issued, halting agreements that require reforms of police departments where the Justice Department found a pattern of misconduct, and another that ordered civil rights attorneys to not “file any new complaints, motions to intervene, agreed-upon remands, amicus briefs, or statements of interest” until further notice.
Yes indeed, “decency, always decency.” In service to the most indecent pig to ever occupy the White House.
The shit, it continues to flow. It’s a 24/7 job to keep up. Your support as a paid subscriber really helps! Only $7/month or $70/year.
Comments are for paid subscribers.
Going after state cases is peak stupids, even Bondi should know that the feds lack jurisdiction there…
The right minded and like-mindeds in the DOJ and FBI should be huddling in dark places to figure out how they can save the Constitution they swore to uphold. Because their asses will be grasses anyway, they ought to give it a go. There are ways to skuttle, so get skuttling. I can't get it done down here at the small city level where I strive but have limited impact.