POKING AROUND WITH 121 HOURS TO GO

From the Department of When Jeff’s Right He’s Right (h/t Jeff Tiedrich): “Donny Convict is what would happen if Dunning and Kruger had a baby, and then dropped it on its head. He’s too fucking stupid to know just how fucking stupid he is. He has these moronic ideas, and then blurts them out like he’s the biggest genius who ever lived. And the MAGA yokels are right there to gobble it all down.” (I couldn’t say it better myself)

From the Department of When Adam’s Right, He’s Right (h/t Adam Parkhomenko): “Welcome to the funeral. No, not for America, though we’re not ruling anything out. No, this funeral is for the High Road. That motherfucker is deader than a doornail or at least very out of service. It’s not that the amazing Michelle Obama wasn’t right about going high. It’s just that she overestimated Americans’ sense of decency. So now it’s time to go low. Or at least stop fucking around.” (I also couldn’t have said this better myself)

From the Department of Why Don’t Other Democrats Do This: Michelle Obama has announced she will not be attending Monday’s Enshittification, er, I mean Inauguration. "Former President Barack Obama is confirmed to attend the 60th Inaugural Ceremonies. Former First Lady Michelle Obama will not attend the upcoming inauguration," the Office of Barack and Michelle Obama stated. This is the second presidential event in two weeks she will have missed. She was noticeably absent from former President Jimmy Carter's funeral on Thursday, Jan. 9, where she would have been assigned to sit next to ConvictedFelon34.

From the Department of Of Course She Is: Trump attorney and 2020 election denier Pam Bondi is having her confirmation hearing today. She is STILL lying about the 2020 election. In her hearing today, Democrats pushed for Bondi to show independence but she refused to say that Trump lost the 2020 election. She declined to say whether she would investigate special counsel Jack Smith, even as she criticized his investigation into President-elect Trump as “horrible.” Vichy Democrat Sen. Peter Welch (D-Vt.) said he believed Pam Bondi does not have an interest in bringing prosecutions against some of President-elect Trump’s adversaries after she said she had not had discussions with Trump about bringing charges against President Biden or Liz Cheney and Adam Schiff. “You’ve satisfied me this is not an agenda you have,” Welch said. Why does New England keep sending morons like this guy and Susan Collins to Washington?

From the Department of Fuck These Motherfuckers In Their Face: Minnesota’s 2025-2026 state House session began Tuesday at noon; or perhaps it hasn’t begun at all. It depends whom you ask. The 66 members of the Democratic–Farmer–Labor Party elected to the lower chamber did not show up Tuesday; they argue work can’t begin until after a January 28 special election takes place to fill an open seat in a blue district. With that seat unfilled, Republicans lead 67-66. It’s a temporary advantage they vowed to use to try unseating Democratic state representative Rep. Brad Tabke, which would cement the GOP’s interim edge for the remainder of the term. Perhaps more importantly, they the Democrats’ absence to vote in a Republican House speaker. The secretary of state, the presiding officer, had concluded legislative business for the day due to the DFL absences that prevented Republicans from a quorum threshold of 68. Republicans ignored this and held the speaker vote anyway. Tuesday evening, the secretary of state said he intended to challenge the speaker vote in court. Democrats’ dilemma is much broader than control over one seat or a brief period in the minority. If the Republicans speaker vote is lawful, they’ll have control over committee leadership and the speakership—and thus legislative priorities—for the next two years, even if the chamber becomes tied after the blue district’s special election in two weeks. On a broader scale, Democrats say Republicans’ proceeding without a quorum is a continuation of the national party’s efforts to disenfranchise voters. (You don’t say)

From the Department of This Is A Good Idea: New Jersey Democratic Gov. Phil Murphy said during his state of the state address he’s planning to build up a supply of medication used in abortions ahead of Trump 2.0. Murphy said he will not back down in the face of “anti-choice” policies supported by the Republican majorities in Congress. He said the state will stockpile mifepristone “so every woman can access this crucial form of reproductive care.” New Jersey joins other Democrat-led states, including Massachusetts and California in stockpiling mifepristone.

From the Department of Fuck That Midget Motherfucker Right In His Face: Yesterday, MAGA Mike Johnson House Speaker Mike Johnson ordered that flags at the U.S. Capitol be raised to their full height on Enshittification Day, er, I meaqn Inauguration Day, pausing a 30-day flag-lowering order following the death of former President Jimmy Carter. The decision means that ConvictedFelon34 will not lie his way through the oath of office under a half-staff flag, a prospect he previously complained about. This mirrors actions taken in recent days by some Republican governors who have announced that flags in their states would be raised on Inauguration Day to mark the fall of the Republic, er, I mean ConvictedFelon34’s second term. I think this Department needs to be renamed Fuck All These Worthless Traitors Right In The Face.

From the Department of And Fuck These Fuckers In Their Face Too: The Village People, the American disco group whose hit “YMCA” has been regularly played at ConvictedFelon34's hatealongs, defended their decision to perform during the Enshittification. "We know this wont make some of you happy to hear however we believe that music is to be performed without regard to politics," the group wrote on their FleeceBlock page Monday. As far as I’m concerned, they were a second rate act 50 years ago and Some. Things. Never. Change., so why wouldn’t they perform for a fifth-rate piece of shit?

From the Department of Eat The Fucking Rich Lightly Sauteed With A Nice Chianti: Bezos, Elmo, and Fuckerberg are all planning to sit together right by Trump on the Enshittification platform with other prominent Vichy collaborationists. Fuckerberg is co-hosting a black-tie reception Monday night with Marian Adelson. Their combined net worth is $885 billions.

From the Department of Of There Is No Fucking Bottom With any Republican: According to the WSJ, when she was meeting with Senate Republicans ahead of her confirmation hearings, Tulsi Gabbard, the former Democratic representative turned MAGA loyalist, failed to articulate what the job she’d been nominated for entails. She also didn’t know the difference between key surveillance powers. The gaffes came in meetings with Sen. James Lankford (R-OK) and Sen. Mike Rounds (R-SD). Rounds read the statutory language for the role of Director of National Intelligence and asked how she could possibly meet that threshold. When he asked how she would handle specific elements of the job, she said she would have to just wait and see when she gets there. ConvictedFelon34's team said she “appreciated the chance to address [senators’] questions and share her vision” for the Office of the Director of National Intelligence. Sunday, Lankford told Meet the Press he would vote to confirm her after she reversed on an electronic surveillance program targeting national-security suspects living abroad. Previously, she had opposed the program, which is laid out in Section 702 of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, but now she’s in favor, she announced. Rounds sent her away with homework after their first meeting. She showed improvement in a follow-up meeting, he told the Journal, adding he would do what he could to support her during the confirmation process. No Republican senators have said they would oppose her, though Sen. John Curtis and Sen. Susan Collins claim they’re still making up their minds. Fuck all of them. In their faces.

From the Department of The Wrong RFK Got Shot: RFK Jr failed to disclose hundreds of thousands of dollars he made from his anti-vax crusade, Donald Trump’s transition team has admitted. He previously said his career as the founder, chairman, and general counsel of the nonprofit Children’s Health Defense was “unpaid” and “the opposite of a profit motive.” In personal financial disclosure forms required for all presidential candidates, Kennedy initially reported that he had earned $731,470.53 in 2022 and 2023. In the summer of 2023, he reported making $515,960 the previous year from CHD; in the summer of 2024, he reported making $215,510.53. Documents obtained by the Daily Beast show Kennedy quietly amended those forms to disclose that he had actually earned $1.2 million, after being nominated as HHS Secretary. He has described his anti-vax drive as a labor of love that cost him friends—and money. I’m old enough to remember when news like this meant the candidate withdrew his nomination his own self.

From the Department of This Is What Happens When You Send A Moron Who Got Thrown On His Head A Time Too Many to Washington: Now that ConvictedFelon34 and the GOP have a hold on every branch of government, they're consideringopportunities to remove major events from blue states into red states where their politicians and donors would benefit. Conservatives have already been advocating California have the Olympic games taken away from them due to the wildfires. Jim Jordan endorses the idea but specifically suggests that the games be held in a red state instead. smax host Rob Finnerty asked Jordan, “I’m wondering if you think the Trump administration should seriously look at moving the Olympics to a red city where you know things are gonna be run properly, like a city in Florida, maybe Miami, or maybe Dallas in Texas, or maybe a city in your home state of Ohio.” Jordan replied, “Yeah, especially when they’re spending time quote ‘Trump-proofing’ their state, looking for ways to set up barriers and obstacles to what the American people elected us to do, particularly, I think, when it comes to this whole immigration and repatriation issue. But I do think the American people rightly see how poorly that state is being run. So we’ll see. I’ll leave that up to President Trump and his team." In February 2020 Convictedfelon34 told local organizers that he fought to get the games in LA. “From the day I took office, I’ve done everything in my power to make sure that LA achieved the winning bid. Now, for the third time in history, the city of Los Angeles—the ‘City of Angels’—will once again raise up the Olympic Torch and welcome the world’s greatest competitors to the Summer Games," according to a release from his previous administration.

Ending on a good note…

From the Department of Happy Birthday To Defenders Of Truth And Accuracy: On this day in 2001, Wikipedia was launched. 24 years later, it has become one of the largest and most trusted sources of knowledge on the internet, with 63+ million articles in 300+ languages. As an historian, I have contributed six corrections and additional material contributions to articles there.

Can you say “Kakistocracy” (government by the worst)? I knew you could.

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