POKING AROUND AT THE START OF THE FIRST FULL WEEK OF MONTH SEVEN

Today beings the first full week of the second six months of the failing seditious assault on America committed by Grampaw Shitstain and his collection of Broken Toys. There are 470 Days to when we take them all to the gravel pit and put them out of their misery as the rabid dogs they are.

I don’t know how this news passed by on Friday. OK, I do know: we’re consumed by the Epstein Files and how Gramps can’t make it go away; also, he could have scored major points announcing this event, but that would involve apologizing for the first major Crime Against Humanity Stephen Miller committed during Maladministration II and we all know he follows Roy Cohn’s advice religiously: never apologize for anything. But file this one under definite Good News: All 238 Venezuelans who were illegally kidnapped and renditioned by ICE and flown to the hellhole of CECOT in El Salvador were released, beginning on Friday July 18 and finishing on Saturday!! Widdle Marco announced that this was due to the “leadership of POTUS” as part of a negotiation with the Venezuelan government to obtain the release of ten Americans held in Venezuelan prisons and an unspecified number of Venezuelan political prisoners. “The world’s coolest dictator” announced on Xitter: “As was offered to the Venezuelan regime back in April, we carried out this exchange in return for a considerable number of Venezuelan political prisoners, people that regime had kept in its prisons for years, as well as all the American citizens it was holding as hostages.” He included footage of the Venezuelans boarding an aircraft for their flight home. So, it turns out the US did have control over the fates of these people all along. None of the US family members or their attorneys were notified this was happening in advance. Many of the 238 were in the midst of seeking asylum out of fear of persecution by the Venezuelan government; now they find themselves back in the country they fled to find safety. Some of the families of those renditioned are considering other means of accountability, including additional legal action. They may still try to gain citizenship for their removed husbands via marriage.

Back to the bullshit:

The Jeffrey Epstein saga continues to dog Trump’s presidency like nothing else in his political career, except perhaps Covid, which contributed to his loss in the 2020 election. Reps. Thomas Massie and Ro Khanna are moving forward on their bipartisan resolution requiring the Justice Department to release all unclassified “documents, communications, and investigative materials” on the Epstein case. Ten Republicans have already signed on, and the authors expect support from every single Democrat, which means they’ll be able to force it onto the floor in the coming weeks. It could very well pass. Speaker MAGA Mike Johnson tried to get ahead of the bipartisan measure by allowing a Republican-led one to advance. But the leadership version is nonbinding and riddled with loopholes: It only calls for the release of “credible” information pertaining to the Epstein case, with the Justice Department deciding what counts as credible. The Massie- Khanna measure goes much further. It says, “No record shall be withheld, delayed, or redacted” because of “embarrassment, reputational harm, or political sensitivity, including to any government official, public figure, or foreign dignitary.”

Last night, Grampaw Shitstain proved there is no bottom to his mendacious, malicious, malevolence as he desperately tries to distract his base from their fixation on his record as a fellow child rapist with his buddy Jeffrey Epstein. He posted an AI-generated video depicting the arrest and imprisonment Barack Obama, following a furious Adderall-fueled weekend shitposting rampage at least 17 times since Friday.about Director of National Ignorance Tulsi Gabbard’s claims that the Obama administration engaged in a “treasonous conspiracy” to subvert Grampaw’s 2016 election victory. He shared a video from a pro-MAGA TikTok user to his Lies Anti-Social platform that opens with footage of Obama and other prominent Democrats declaring that “no one is above the law.” It then cuts to Pepe the Frog dressed as a clown and honking its nose, before showing an AI-generated sequence of Obama being arrested by the FBI during his Oval Office meeting with Trump in November 2016. It then depicts Obama in prison in an orange jumpsuit. The arrest montage is bizarrely set to one of Grampaw’s favorite tunes, Village People’s “YMCA.” Many MAGAts have gotten on board, with the Obama arrest video shared by MAGAts on social media Sunday night. “MAKE THIS A REALITY,” right-wing journalist Nick Sortor wrote on Xitter (that’s pronouncded “Shitter”), tagging Attorney General Pam Bondi. The 34-times convicted criminal has increasingly normalized the idea of using the Justice Department to go after political enemies. On Sunday night alone, he also floated sending Democratic Sen. Adam Schiff to prison and posted a collage depicting fake mugshots of various Obama-era officials, including James Comey, Samantha Power, and Susan Rice, wearing orange jumpsuits, titled “The Shady Bunch”. Yes folks, this is what a senile drug-addled old traitor looks like. Someone needs to remind Gramps that presidents cannot be arrested and tried for actions taken when they were in office; it applies to more than he. (/snark)

The allegations and horror stories about the predatory fuckery that Gramps and Jeffrey Epstein were perpetrating back when they were besties just keep getting uglier and uglier: The NYT reported over the weekend that Gramps hosted a party at Mar-a-Lago for young women in a so-called calendar girl competition in 1993, at which Epstein was the only other guest, this according to George Houraney, a Florida-based businessman who arranged the event. Mr. Houraney recalled being surprised that Mr. Epstein was the only other person on the guest list. “I said, ‘Donald, this is supposed to be a party with V.I.P.s,” Mr. Houraney told The New York Times in 2019. “You’re telling me it’s you and Epstein?’” The Times reported further: “Mr. Houraney’s then-girlfriend and business partner, Jill Harth, later accused Mr. Trump of sexual misconduct on the night of the party. In a lawsuit, Ms. Harth said that Mr. Trump took her into a bedroom and forcibly kissed and fondled her, and restrained her from leaving. She also said that a 22-year-old contestant told her that Mr. Trump later that night crawled into her bed uninvited.”

My two departed boys - Cary and Danny. Miss you guys e very day!

Regarding Dilbert Dipshit’s insane Lies Anti-Social Adderall-fueled post early Sunday morning in which he called for the renaming of football teams back to their original racist names, he doubled down in another Rage-A-Thon from the Golden Throne early this morning, posting: “My statement on the Washington Redskins has totally blown up, but only in a very positive way. I may put a restriction on them that if they don’t change the name back to the original “Washington Redskins,” and get rid of the ridiculous moniker, “Washington Commanders,” I won’t make a deal for them to build a Stadium in Washington. The Team would be much more valuable, and the Deal would be more exciting for everyone. Cleveland should do the same with the Cleveland Indians. The Owner of the Cleveland Baseball Team, Matt Dolan, who is very political, has lost three Elections in a row because of that ridiculous name change. What he doesn’t understand is that if he changed the name back to the Cleveland Indians, he might actually win an Election. Indians are being treated very unfairly. MAKE INDIANS GREAT AGAIN (MIGA)!” (FACT CHECK: Dilbert has no power to affect any land deal in D.C.)

Dilbert also had a bug up that ginormous gelatinous ass about reporting in the Wall Street Journal that said he didn’t know shit from shinola about the effect his attacks against Fed Chairman Powell would have on the markets until Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent explained things to him. He posted on Lies Anti-Social: “The Wall Street Journal ran a typically untruthful story today by saying that Secretary of the Treasury, Scott Bessent, explained to me that firing Jerome “Too Late” Powell, the Worst Federal Reserve Chairman in History, would be bad for the Market. Nobody had to explain that to me. I know better than anybody what’s good for the Market, and what’s good for the U.S.A. If it weren’t for me, the Market wouldn’t be at Record Highs right now, it probably would have CRASHED! So, get your information CORRECT. People don’t explain to me, I explain to them!”

Closing arguments will be held today in a two-week trial over whether Maladministration II targeted pro-Palestinian international students for their political views. Friday, John Armstrong, the official in the Bureau of Consular Affairs, confirmed in his testimony that criticism of Israel was one of the considerations in revoking student visas. Pushed for examples of things he might consider in weighing whether to deny or revoke a student’s visa, Armstrong testified that calls for limiting military aid to Israel or “denouncing Zionism” could all factor in his agency’s decisions.

The Purges are happening: After months of denying it would do so, Maladministration II announced Friday it will eliminate the EPA’s scientific research arm and began firing hundreds of chemists, biologists, toxicologists and other scientists. The administration’s purge of the Justice Department has involved the firing of at least 200 career employees in violation of civil service rules protecting federal workers from political retaliation, according to an advocacy group for former DOJ employees.

Continuing with another purge: The InJustice Department has fired the wife of the developer of a controversial “anti-ICE” warning system after far-right influencer Laura Loomer went after her on Xitter (that’;s pronounced “shitter”) Carolyn Feinstein, who is married to ICEBlock developer Joshua Aaron and has served as a forensic accountant at the DOJ’s Office of the U.S. Trustee for nearly ten years, received an email from the department on Friday informing her that her position would be terminated. Feinstein, who specializes in bankruptcy fraud, said this morning: “This was retribution. I was fired because of the actions, or activism, of my husband. It is insulting to me because I dedicated myself and my career to serving the people of the United States, and now the DOJ is claiming I was attempting to harm some of them. And that’s not true.” ICEBlock provides users with an “early warning system” when ICE agents have been spotted within a five-mile radius of their location, allowing targets of immigration raids to avoid confrontation with the authorities. Aaron said: “We will not be intimidated. We will not be deterred. As long as ICE agents have quotas, and this administration ignores people’s Constitutional rights, we will continue fighting back. No human is illegal.” Feinstein said she received her termination notice - which claimed that “Pursuant to Article II of the United States Constitution and the laws of the United Stats and based on your lack of candor during an internal investigation by the Department of Justice, your employment is terminated effective immediately.” - hours after Herr Obergruppenfuhrer Tom Homan said of the app that “People need to go to jail over this.” The reference to “Article II” is Dilbert’s new bullshit way of claiming he has the authority under the false “unitary executive theory” to fire federal employees at will. This - among other bullshit attempts to fire federal employees under this idea - will undeoubtedly go to court.

According to Oscar Wilde, “Some spread joy wherever they go, some whenever they go.” This is a case of the latter: Edwin Feulner, a Chicago-born political scientist, who founded the Heritage Foundation in 1973 and became its president in 1977, a position he held until 2013, has died, according to an announcement from Heritage. House majority leader Steve Scalise wrote on social media that Feulner "was one of the architects who built the conservative movement in this country." One down, 10,000 more to follow. “Happy days are here again.... “

Wow, when you get Howie Kurtz to say this, you have Seriously Screwed The Pooch, CBS: Kurtz addressed Stephen Colbert’s cancellation on Sunday’s Media Buzz, saying to Variety’s Brian Steinberg: “This is about Shari Redstone, who needs Trump administration approval to have this sale to Skydance go through and make a lot of money, in my view, really tarnishing the network of Murrow and Cronkite.”

Speaking of more Paramount bullshit: Jon Stewart doesn’t know whether The Daily Show will survive Paramount Global’s merger with Skydance, but the show is adding yet another anti- Trump correspondent to its hosting rotation. Staff writer turned correspondent and now host Josh Johnson will appear behind the desk from Tuesday to Thursday this week. Stewart will appear during his usual Monday night slot tonight, but there’s mounting speculation that it could be his last. His Monday night appearance will be his first since CBS announced Thursday that it was firing Stephen Colbert and killing off the Late Show altogether next May. Stewart commented during his July 8 show about the $16 million settlement to soothe Trump over the 60 Minutes edit of Kamala Harris’ interview last year, “I’m obviously not a lawyer, but I did watch Goodfellas. That sounds illegal.” Hollywood commentator Matt Belloni said on his podcast “the Town,” he wouldn’t be surprised “if Stewart just dive bombs the entire company, quits on the air, drops some F-bombs, names names, the whole thing.” Choosing Josh Johnson for a new host this week supports Belloni’s theory that Stewart “could give two shits” about appeasing what he’s previously called Paramount’s “fealty” to Gramps. Johnson’s no-holds barred takes on Gramps have made his stand-up popular and catapulted him into the higher echelons of the Daily Show staff since joining the show in 2017. I think I’m going to watch tonight.

More good news for us: Corporal Couchfucker, his wife Usha, and their three children are expected to explore London in mid-August, rent a cottage in the Cotswolds, and then travel to Scotland, according to The Telegraph, which said: “Vance’s serene stay, first revealed by The Spectator, is set to be hijacked by a coalition of pro-Palestinian demonstrators, climate protesters and trade unions.” The Stop Trump Coalition has pledged to ensure that Couchboy’s merriment falls as flat as it did when he visited Disneyland with his spawn earlier this month. The group, which helped mobilize mass protests against Grampaw’s first state visit to the U.K. in 2019, warned that even in the heart of the English countryside, the vice president “will find the resistance waiting.” The group also plans to protest Gramps’s visit to Scotland later this week, when he will open a new golf course named after his Scottish mother, and a second full state visit planned for September.“We are meeting Trump with protests in Aberdeen and Edinburgh this month, and then in London and Windsor in September,” they said.

This last is too fucking perfect: When Dilbert filed his bullshit lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal back on Friday, he filed it in the Federal Court District in South Florida where he thought it ould be given to the one federal judge who is guaranteed to put a thumb on the scales in his favor: the courtroom of Judge Loosey Cannon. Hah! Didn’t happen! The bullshit attempt got assigned to Judge Darrin Gayles, who was appointed by President Barack Obama in 2014, becoming the first openly gay Black man to serve on the federal bench! Dilbert is now at the point where he couldn’t organize a decent bowel movement in the Golden Throne Room.

After six months of bitter partisan fighting since Grampaw’s enshittification, Republicans will now need cooperation from Democrats to keep the government funded, and Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer is warning GOP colleagues not to expect “business as usual.” The odds of a shutdown are significantly higher after the scorched-earth battles on Trump’s Big Bad Bill.

Senator Whitehouse gets it, saying: “Frankly, a lot of our approval rating problems are from Democrats dissatisfied with our level of fight. I think that’s probably because we have not been showing the fight they expect.” Damn right!

Cookie and her friend.

I’d like to thank the five new paid subscribers who answered the distress call this weekend. Your support is greatly appreciated. If we can keep this going through to the end of the month, stability should be restored here at That’s Another Fine Mess.

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