POKING AROUND AT THE END OF A WEEK THAT FEELS LIKE A YEAR

The best event of the year.

It’s the end of a long first week of the next four years. There are 647 days till the midterms.

From the Department of This Is Big!: The Washington Post reported at midnight last night that the ConvictedFelon34 Maladministration fired the independent inspectors general of at least 12 major federal agencies in a purge that could clear the way for Putz4547 to install loyalists in the crucial role of identifying fraud, waste and abuse. The agencies include Defense, State, Transportation, Veterans Affairs, Housing and Urban Development, Interior, Energy, Commerce and Agriculture, as well as the Environmental Protection Agency, Small Business Administration and the Social Security Administration; many of those fired had been placed in office during Maladministration I. The conversations that led to this action began during the transition period to the White House, ConvictedFelon34 has taken another step to declare his is unrestrained by the law. Inspectors general can be fired by the president, but only after communicating a reason for the removal to both houses of Congress 30 days in advance, which did not happen here. In 2022, Congress strengthened and expanded protections for inspectors general, making it harder to replace them with hand-picked officials and requiring additional explanations from a president for their removal. "It would essentially be removing this critical component of oversight and it really leaves the American public vulnerable to corruption and abuse of power," Faith Williams, the director of the Effective and Accountable Government Program at the Project on Government Oversight, said. “It’s a widespread massacre,” said one of the fired inspectors general. “Whoever Trump puts in now will be viewed as loyalists, and that undermines the entire system.” ConvictedFelon34 installed political loyalists after firing multiple inspectors general during his first term - including five over six weeks in 2020 - in a move that was criticized by lawmakers and government watchdogs who accused him of attempting to erode safeguards and independent checks on the federal government. In April of 2020, Trump fired Michael Atkinson, the inspector general for the intelligence community, telling reporters he did a "terrible job."Atkinson's communications to Congress about a whistleblower complaint helped initiate the Ukraine impeachment inquiry, leading to his first impeachment by Congress. The inspectors general of the Central Intelligence Agency and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence resigned late last year, giving Putz4547 the opportunity to nominate his own picks to lead oversight of the powerful national security agencies. Given the law on this kind of action, this is clearly an act taken against the rule of law. What happens next is a phrase that you will be hearing a lot of when DopnnieDumbass takes action: This is probably heading to court. I will bet that this one will be in the courts next week. Give ConvictedFelon34 credit - he is creating jobs. Lots of them. For lawyers. His and all real goal is to dismantle any safeguards and oversight so he can run the most corrupt administration in American history.

From the Department of Reality Really Can Bite: Yesterday, Faux Snooze addressed the soaring cost of eggs. They’ve blamed Biden for the last four years for the cost of everything, but this time they said the problem is avian flu. This has been a problem with the price of eggs (along with price gouging) for a few years now, and played a role in the ConvictedFelon34 victory in 2024. Last week prices were high because of Biden. This week it is suddenly avian flu. Amazing how that happens. Now let’s see them demand information from the CDC and NIH, which has been stopped by ConvictedFelon34 in an executive order issued in Week One That Felt Like A Year. Those fuckwits who voted for this shit because of the cost of eggs can cordially go Fuck Yourself In Your Face.

From The Department of the Fuckhead Really Is This Mendacious: ConvictedFelon34 took trips to visit the disaster sites in North Carolina and California yesterday, and reiterated his intent to abolish FEMA: “I'll also be signing an executive order to begin the process of fundamentally reforming and overhauling FEMA or maybe getting rid of FEMA. I think, frankly, FEMA is not good. I think when you have a problem like this, I think you want to use your state to fix it and not waste time calling FEMA. I think we're gonna recommend that FEMA go away." What ConvictedFelon34 really wants to do is to be able to dole out funds himself, rather than have FEMA do it. That way, he can decide who gets aid depending on: 1. Whether the state or community is Republican or Democrat; 2. Whether the elected officials in the area supported him; 3. How much officials in the area compliment him and kiss his ass; 4. How much money have they funneled into his various businesses. He proved this by adding that he would rather see federal relief funds go to private groups like Samaritan’s Purse and have them decide how best to spend the money to help disaster victims. Samaritan’s Purse is Franklin Graham’s organization.

From the Department of He’s Really Going to Fuck NATO: convictedfelon34 was asked whether the US would continue to support other NATO countries and answered: "We're protecting them. They're not protecting us. We're protecting them, so I don't think we should be spending - I'm not sure we should be spending anything."Speaking to the Davos Conference on Thrusday, he called on NATO members to increase their defense spending to 5% of their GDP; the treaty calls on members to spend 3% of their GDP on defense. The U.S. currently spends about 3% of its GDP on defense. For the U.S. to spend 5% of GDP on defense would require the U.S. to increase its defense budget by $567 billion a year. It is believed the Putin-loving Putz4547 will attempt to use the failure of NATO members to follow his order as his reason to withdraw from NATO.

From the Department of Democrats Need To Keep Their Backbone: House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries addressed the Republican war on DEI: “Diversity, equity and inclusion are American values. The motto of the US is E Pluribus Unum. Out of many, one. That’s diversity. The 14th Amendment provides equal protection under the law. That’s equity. We pledge allegiance to the flag. In that pledge, we promise, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. A-L-L. That’s inclusion. Not complicated. Diversity, equity and inclusion are American values. It’s about economic opportunity. It’s about merit for everyone, based on what you know, not who you know.”

From the Department of Will No One Rid Us Of This Unreconstructed Afrikaner?: Elmo posted to his 220+ million followers Friday that racial discrimination laws are worse today in South Africa than they were during apartheid, and white people are now allegedly being discriminated against the most. A new AP poll shows Elmo’s popularity with Americans continues to drop since October. Just 36% of Americans have a favorable opinion of him now, with 52% saying they have an unfavorable opinion. Only 29% agree that DOGE should be formed with him leading it. His popularity in Europe is even lower and it’s a bad time to be a Tesla owner in Europe these days, with the tinny toys that only work 75% of the time and can’t self-drive for shit being vandalized with Elmo’s favorite symbol.

From The Department of The Goons Will Act Exactly Like You Expect: On Thursday, a dozen ICE thugs raided a Newark, NJ, seafood wholesaler and restaurant and arrested three people, including the Puerto Rican warehouse manager. Ocean Food Depot owner Luis Janota said, “I asked them what documentation they were looking for, and they said it was a license or a passport. I thought, who walks around with a passport? One of the employees was a military veteran, and the way it looked to me they targeted him because he was Hispanic. He is Puerto Rican and the manager of our warehouse. It looked to me like they were specifically going after certain kinds of people - not every kind, because they did not ask me for documentation for my white workers.” Mexico refused permission prior to takeoff to a request by a US military flight with deported migrants to land in their country, which resulted in the flight being canceled. Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum said she opposes Trump’s attempt to take “unilateral actions” to deport migrants, and will not give consent for any US flights to land in her country unless the deportations have been coordinated with her government.

From the Department of Mississippi! Find Yourself Another Country To Be Part Of!: State Rep. Rep. Justin Keen (R) introduced a bill to create an Illegal Alien Certified Bounty Hunter Program, which would provide a $1,000 reward to registered bounty hunters for each successful deportation they help facilitate: “When Trump took office this week, he immediately recognized the emergency at our borders, rolling out executive orders to combat illegal immigration and cartels. This legislation builds upon that foundation, empowering local leaders and communities to support federal efforts in protecting our citizens.” We really should have turned that place into a howling wilderness in 1865.

From the Department of Goddamn These Vichy Democrats: Talking Points Memo reports that even if RFK Jr. comes up short with Republican support - which is a distinct possibility - Senator Sheldon Whitehouse might vote to get him over the top. Whitehouse and RFK Jr. were very close friends in law school together and have remained friends for many years. When asked about the report, Whitehouse said : “I’m not going to reveal how I’m voting on any nominee.” That’s Senator-speak for “I probably will.” Wasn’t this guy supposed to be on our side?

From the Department of It’s Open Season on Clinics: Vice President Corporal Couchfucker spoke to the March for Life today and said the ConvictedFelon34 Maladministration will no longer enforce the FACE Ac to protect patients and providers entering and leaving doctor’s offices: “No longer will our government throw pro-life protesters and activists in prison. It stopped on Monday and we're not going to let it come back to this country.” He also called for “more babies in this country” saying that young people need to marry and procreate. He didn’t say “young white people,” but you know what he meant.

From the Department of He Really Is A Bullshitter: After ConvictedFelon34 attacked Bank of America on Thursday for allegedly refusing service to “conservatives”, they issued this statement: “Bank of America serves more than 70 million clients and we welcome conservatives. We would never close accounts for political reasons and don’t have a political litmus test.” Far Right “influencer” and Ivermectin addict “Catturd” posted on Xitter (that’s pronounced “Shittter”) that the bank account for his podcast had been canceled by B of A. It turns out, there’s a law that keeps them from doing business with terrorists.

From the Department of The “Good Guy” Really Is A Bad Guy: Secretary of State Marco Rubio issued a memo on Friday to all US Diplomatic and Consulate Posts that rainbow flags are banned: “Only the US flag is authorized to be flown or publicly displayed at US facilities. The US flag is a powerful symbol of pride and it is fitting and respectful that only the US flag be flown or displayed. The only exceptions include the POW/MIA flag and the Hostages & Wrongful Detainees flag.”

From the Department of Fuck The God-botherers: ConvictedFelon34's Department of Education announced Friday that it will eliminate its so-called “book ban coordinator” position and dismiss numerous complaints related to the removal of “age-inappropriate” and “sexually explicit” literature from public schools. The 11 complaints from local school districts alleged that the deshelving of materials created a “hostile environment for students,” a claim the Department of Education deemed “meritless.” “By dismissing these complaints and eliminating the position and authorities of a so-called ‘book ban coordinator,’ the department is beginning the process of restoring the fundamental rights of parents to direct their children’s education,” Craig Trainor, the department’s acting assistant secretary for civil rights, said in a statement. Trainor indicated that under ConvictedFelon34, the Education Department will adhere to “the deeply rooted American principle that local control over public education best allows parents and teachers alike to assess the educational needs of their children and communities. Parents and school boards have broad discretion to fulfill that important responsibility,” he added. “These decisions will no longer be second-guessed by the Office for Civil Rights at the US Department of Education.” All hail the ignorant bimbos you hate learning on Next Door you live near.

From the Department of They’re Still At It: Following the senate confirmation of compleat fuckwitted asshole Pete Hegseth for Secretary of Defense, the Republicans in the Senate followed that up this morning by confirming Professional Pet Murderer Kristi Noem as Secretary of Homeland Security. The 59-34 vote to confirm Noem came with the willing cooperation of several Vichy Democrats. “Kristi brings experience and commitment to her new role,” Senate Majority John Thune said. “One of the biggest challenges facing the Department of Homeland Security right now is securing our nation’s border. Four years of record breaking illegal immigration at our southern border has left our country vulnerable to a whole host of security concerns. Fixing this crisis and restoring respect for the rule of law is one of President Trump and Republicans’ top priorities, and it’s going to require a decisive and committed leader at the Department of Homeland Security. I believe Kristi has everything it takes to undertake this task.” I’m old enough to remember when people used to call him “reasonable,” “independent” and “an institutionalist.” According to the Professional Incels at Xitter (that’s pronounced “Shitter”), Noem’s primary qualification for this job is that “she’s hot.”

Yes, it’s still fucking January.

We’re getting a firehose of this shit, which is why the first week of this feels like a year already. That’s Another Fine Mess needs your support as a paid subscriber so we can deal with 2025, the most important worst year (so far). It’s only $7/month or $70/year.

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