LETS KEEP OUR EYE ON THE BALL, NOT THE BS

Conspiracy theories have been a Big Deal with humans since they first saw lightning and couldn’t figure out what caused it, so they said it was from some non-existent Sky Guy whose powers no one could understand. And things have gone downhill from there in the conspiracy theory market.

And that’s all a conspiracy theory is: some drooling moron too stupid to look at the actual facts and see what is actually going on. No conspiracy theory has ever been demonstrated to be true.

Hell, even the Masons and the Knight Templars and the Illuminati haven’t been able to pull off successful conspiracies anyplace other than the minds of morons.

Look at the facts: it’s hard enough to keep a secret between two people. Add one more and it’s ten times harder, and the difficulty of keeping the secret grows exponentially with every blabbermouth added in. And all humans are blabbermouths. Just consider for a moment the number of people who would have to be in the know, and able to keep the secret, for the simplest so-called conspiracy you can come up with.

Conspiracy theories are the Boogie Man used by con artists to fool the rubes.

Don’t. Be. A. Rube.

What really pisses me off is watching people who are intelligent enough to be progressives happily diving into the same conspiracy swamp that the halfwits and hayshakers willingly jump into when they hear the latest bullshit from their favorite Faux Snooze Bullshit Artist.

Elmo. Did. Not. Hack. The. Pennsylvania. Election.

At least he didn’t do it using computer programs.

People who actually know how the Pennsylvania voting system operates have pointed out the Actual Facts, which are that no two Pennsylvania counties use the same computer system for their voting. Not only that, but one-third of them don’t use computers; they use paper ballots and scan them in.

Trump ascribing some super-secret-something to Elmo that gave him success in Pennsylvania was just another in the many many lies he has told over the past 50 years to convince people that he’s a Very Stable Genius when the truth is he can’t add 2+2 and get 4 on consecutive attempts. He was back in 1966 and is now in 2024 “the dumbest fucking student who ever walked into my classroom,” in the words of the Wharton professor whose class he was allowed to AUDIT because he was too fucking stupid to have grades that met the then-low admission standards at Wharton (despite his many claims to the contrary that are believed by people too stupid to go check the record).

It. Is. Impossible. To. Have. A. Hacking. Program. That. Can. Hack. Multiple. Different. Systems. Simultaneously.

Even the NSA hasn’t been able to pull that one off.

All that is not to say that Republicans didn’t fuck with the 2024 election, as they fucked with the 2000 election and the 2004 election. As they have fucked with elections many many times.

They didn’t have to go looking for the otherwise-unemployables in Silly Con Valley to do it.

They did it the old-fashioned way, with voter suppression laws, fear-mongering, and plain old voter intimidation and lies. Just like they always have.

Go read the Hartmann Report that Tom put up at his site this past week if you don’t believe me. He has the receipts.

Democrats tried to convince themselves during the 2024 campaign that Elmo being put in charge of the GOP GOTV effort was hopeless, since Elmo didn’t know squat about GOTV. They were right. He didn’t. But he was intelligent enough to know that, so he listened to the people who did know what was what, and then went out and hired the people who did know, and he put them to work with sufficient resources that they changed things in Pennsylvania. They did it the old-fashioned way. While progressives who are intelligent enough that they ought to know better were looking for Elmo to do something high tech with computers and shit, they went out and did it with shoe leather. They did it with bullshit advertising that the hayshakers who can’t read and comprehend at the 5th grade level bought into. That’s how Republicans have done it for-fucking-ever!

There’s a rule that you should never ascribe to evil what can be explained by stupidity. It has a corollary: never ascribe high powers to idiots.

Elmo and the rest of them are not some collection of geniuses who can organize the only conspiracy to ever get past everyone using their high tech gimmickry.

We need to keep our eyes on the plays and the balls they have always used, since they are creatures of habit.

Word is Elmo wants to recreate his Pennsylvania “hack” in Wisconsin next month to beat the Democrats in the State Supreme Court Election. Rather than get their knickers in knots over the High Tech Conspiracy, what the Wisconsin Democrats need to do to win is the same thing they did when they wont the seat for Janet Protasiewicz in 2023: Get. Out. The. Fucking. Vote.

I don’t know why it is that Democrats want to live their political lives in a perpetual crouch, scared the bully might hit them. By god they didn’t used to! I can assure you that Jesse Unruh and Willie Brown made the Republicans live in crouch because they knew damn well the two of them would kick them in what passed for their nuts any time. This seems to have become second nature to Democrats since they lost the 1980 elections.

Republicans are so fucking dumb that, when they won a legislative majority here n California in 1994, Willie Brown fucked with them for a year and kept them from taking charge, because he knew how the system worked and they didn’t, and he didn’t have any respect for the morons.

Keep. Your. Eye. On. The. Ball.

Let the damn MAGAts go to bed terrified about the night monsters that live under their beds.

We know they don’t exist.

I really don’t want to read any more conspiracy theory BS here. You people are too damn smart to believe that shit. When you hear somebody crying and spouting that shit and they claim they’re on our side, take them out to the woodshed and give them something to cry about.

Thank you for your attention in this important matter.

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