IN WHICH QEVIN McQARTHY GETS HIS BALLS FED TO HIM FOR BREAKFAST

Wow. I can't believe it. For the first time in my life ever, I agree with Lucianne Goldbeg's son little Jonah about something - specifically, this tweet:

“I think there would be no more fitting end to Kevin McCarthy’s dream of becoming speaker than the ‘scandal’ of him being exposed as privately believing the right and moral thing.”

As James Comey once said, “There are tapes? Oh, lordy, I hope so!”

Or as Clarence Darrow put it, "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great relish."

As TheRickWilson pointed out on twitter, McCarthy has been selling himself to the donor class for years as “Support me and I’ll keep the Trump crazies down.” Except he does that while asking them to give him money to support the candidacies of the people who - if the predictions are right about this fall - will arrive in Washington next January 3 ready to make MTG, Boebert, Cawthorn, Gaetz & Co. look like the Sunday Skool Kidz.

I like Charlie Pierce’s headline on his take of this story:

Faced With Trump's Wickedness, the Two McChickens—McConnell and McCarthy—Folded Like Cheap Suits

For those already resident on Mars, here’s a diversion from all the work you’re engaged in preparing to repel Musk’s colonists:

From the New York Times:

“In the days after the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol building, the two top Republicans in Congress, Representative Kevin McCarthy and Senator Mitch McConnell, told associates they believed President Trump was responsible for inciting the deadly riot and vowed to drive him from politics. Mr. McCarthy went so far as to say he would push Mr. Trump to resign immediately: “I’ve had it with this guy,” he told a group of Republican leaders.”

Further:

“During the same Jan. 10 conversation when he said he would call on Mr. Trump to resign…Mr. McCarthy told other GOP leaders he wished the big tech companies would strip some Republican lawmakers of their social media accounts, as Twitter and Facebook had done with Mr. Trump. Members such as Lauren Boebert of Colorado had done so much to stoke paranoia about the 2020 election and made offensive comments online about the Capitol attack.”

And it’s so interesting to read about how, after McCarthy took this bold and courageous stand, Senator Mitch McConnell stepped up and joined him and together, they convinced the majority of their respective caucuses that if they had a shred of decency they had to step up to this, and with that stampede of overwhelming support, they joined the Democrats to impeach and convict the traitor president of inciting an insurrection and seditious conspiracy, thus turning Trump into a reviled political outcast and Trumpism into a failed, spent force in American politics, while forcing a radical transformation in the Republican Party, back to a semblance of what it had been as it regained its senses as a political party and shed its more radical fringe members.

And no, you can’t have any of what I was smoking.

Naaahh.... within three weeks Kevin was down at Mar A Lardo with his kneepads on, but he refused the offer to give Trump’s widdle mushroom that special D.C.-variety loving in public. The man has standards, after all. He did it over in the cloakroom there in the entry hall.

And within weeks of that, McConnell was declaring that of course he would vote for Trump in 2024 if he was the party nominee. And then he led all the Senate Republicans in voting not to convict in the impeachment trial.

And thus was order and sanity restored to the world of men.

Of course, there’s also the story of Noted Konztitooshinul K-K-Konservateev Skolar Mike Lee, the politician who proves my father was right when he told me the way to understand that religion was to remove the second “m.”

From the Deseret News:

“Lee said he has known Meadows for a long time and characterized his texts from Nov. 7, 2020, to Jan. 4, 2021, as having a level of informality that would be reserved for a friend. “He knows that when I said things like ‘Tell me what we ought to be saying,’ what I was just trying to figure out was ‘What is your message?’ He knows me well enough to know that that doesn’t mean I will do your bidding, whatever it is,” Lee said in a 45-minute phone interview.

“Conversations I had with him at the time on the phone and in person, he knew that. He knew I was not there to do his bidding,” Lee said of his conversations with Meadows.”

In Lee’s case, the political reporter for the Salt Lake Tribune was probably right when he said the news of Lee’s double-dealing likely makes him more popular with the Republican voters who love in the state where “3.2 beer” is what you can get unless you join the “private club” that meets in the back room.

In the case of McCarthy, however, I don’t think he’s going to get off that easy. I predict that all the K-K-Krazies who will get elected using McCarthy’s money he raised from the donors on the promise he would keep the K-K-Kooks at bay, who will come whoopin’ and hollerin’ to D.C. in January, will likely see it as their God-appointed duty to defenstrate McCarthy publicly on the capitol steps. After which they will make Gym Jordan Speaker so they can hire Sidney Powell as K-K-Kommittee Kownsul and get on with all the investigations of Hunter Biden’s laptop, Dr. Fauci’s financing of the research in the Chinese biowar lab in Wuhan, plus the good doctor’s efforts to help the Ukrainians release birds infected with Dizeezes into the land of their good Russky paymasters, and the plot to teach Critical Race Theory in Kindergarten coloring books, ending with the impeachment of President Biden for the crime of governatin’, followed by that of Vice-President Harris for the crime of bein’ an uppity bi... er, they meant “witch,” topped off with a celebratory book burnin’ and barbecue of Nancy Pelosi at the Washington Monument to Praise Jeebus and show what a god-fearin’ country Amerikkka now is.

And there are evidently more tapes to come next week before the book launches a week from next Tuesday.

Pass the popcorn, please. And stay away from the funny cigarettes. You’re going to have to pay attention because there will be a test at the end of all this.

Held in a voting booth.

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