EVERY. THING. TRUMP. TOUCHES. DIES.

Who could’ve seen this coming?

Only the best people?

After he was permanently kicked of Twitter, Fatso Fatass, el Jefe del Mar A Lardo, announced he would soon be enjoying the thing he loves best, revenge.

He was going to create the Best App Ever for the Best Social Media Ever, El Jefe’s answer to spite Twitter and Facebook for daring to ban him after he used their platforms to incite his violent insurrection.

Truth Social.

The company grew in “value” from investments, except it also found itself mired in legal problems over copyright infringement for stealing the intellectual property that underpinned the app. Then it got investigated by the SEC for its investment practices.

In other words, it became the typical Trump scam - like Trump Steaks, and Trump Vodka, and Trump Wine, and basically anything with the name Trump on it.

The roll-out in February was the usual deliciously glitchy clusterfuck one associates with anything done by the guy the professor at Wharton called “The dumbest fucking student to ever walk into my classroom.”

It only worked on Apple iPhones.

Devin Nunes, former plaintiff suing digital cows and perfect example of what “Dumbfuckingportogee” means in the California Central Valley, who left Congress to become CEO of The Trump Media & Technology Group, predicted Trump’s new social site would need another month past its launch date to be fully functional.

But, it’s been more than a month since Truth Social weathered its disastrous debut. Things haven’t improved much. Sign-ups are down an amazing 93 percent, along with persistent technical glitches, demonstrating just how successful The World’s Most Successful Man is.

According to new reports from Reuters and Politico, three of the company’s top executives have already left their positions because, essentially, the app just is not that popular.

Truth Social’s Chief Technology Officer Josh Adams, its Product Development Director Billy Boozer (talk about an appropriate name for a Trumper) and Chief Legal Officer Lori Heyer-Bednar are gone. Reuters reported that the app’s lackluster debut was the main driver in Adams and Boozer’s departures.

El Jefe is reportedly less-than-pleased.

Trump is gunning to handle his disappointment the exact same way he handled issues in his White House: turn the whole personnel operation upside-down and inside-out.

Per Politico:

“Trump has been upset with the state of his social media venture, Truth Social, and is eyeing major shake-ups to the company, including positions on the board of Truth Social’s parent company, Trump Media and Technology Group, according to one of those people familiar with the matter and a separate person as well.”

Trump himself is also barely using Truth Social, only posting once, on February 14:

“Get Ready! Your favorite President will see you soon!”

Rick Wilson is right.

Every. Thing. Trump. Touches. Dies.

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