COULD THE MORONS REALLY DO THIS?

No, I’m not talking about the morons in the Democratic Party serving in the House of Representatives, of which there are several. I’m talking about the morons Jeff Tiedrich described as “too stupid to organize a fuck in a brothel” - the House Republicans.

The Right Reverend MAGA Mike will need 218 votes on Friday to be re-elected Speaker. There are 219 Republicans available for his “majority, to 215 Democrats. If two of them don’t vote for him, he loses because he has to have half of 434 (217) plus one (218). Massie has already said he will vote “present”. With any one member able to hold his entire speakership hostage, MAGAMike basically has no cards to play. If he doesn’t win the speakership, there really isn’t anyone who could step up and win 218 votes. With no Speaker, Felon34 becoming President becomes problematic because no one knows what to do in this situation. In the event the winners of the electoral college vote are not certified by Congress as the president-elect and vice president-elect, then - per the rules of succession - the job after January 20 goes to the existing House Speaker. Of which there will be none. In that situation, the Presidency goes to the president pro tempore of the Senate, which in this case is Senator Chuck Grassley, who will be 92 this January.

That realization finally made it through to Felon34, whose endorsement ended with: “The American people need IMMEDIATE relief from the destructive policies of the last Administration. Speaker Johnson is a good, hard working, religious man. He will do the right thing, and we will continue to WIN. Mike has my Complete & Total Endorsement. MAGA!!!”

That the evil, lazy and blasphemous Felon34 could endorse Reverend Mike as he did proves irony is long dead.

Once in office, as now, Reverend Mike will be unable to pass anything important without help from the Democrats, which puts him in trouble with the 34 Fweedumbers. And the Democrats aren’t going to pull his bacon out of the fire this time.

Yeah, I know, that sounds crazy as hell, but consider - we’re talking about the people who flunked the IQ test low enough to become Republicans. Even with Felon34's “Complete & Total Endorsement” (How many people are still wondering how they lost their elections with that hung around their necks?)

The fight within MAGA is only part of the larger fight within the Republican Party, whose leadership needs to organize the newly elected members of the House of Representatives as soon as they get back to Washington, D.C., and come into session on Friday, January 3. The House should have a speaker in place before Congress counts electoral votes on January 6.

Even if Trump no longer needs MAGA voters, extremist MAGAs in the House do, and they are angry at current MAGAMike for his willingness to work with less extreme Republicans and Democrats to keep the government operating. Members of the far right want to shut it down until it stops spending more money than it takes in and stops supporting policies they oppose.

Extreme MAGA Republicans say they will not support Johnson for speaker this time around, putting his election in jeopardy because the party’s majority is so thin Johnson cannot lose more than two votes. Trump was angry at Johnson for passing a continuing resolution to fund the government without getting rid of the debt ceiling but, perhaps looking at the tight congressional schedule, endorsed him today with a social media post.

The Republican factions made the Congress that is just ending one of the least productive in history, and that chaos seems likely to get worse. With the 2023 Fiscal Responsibility Act, Congress suspended the U.S. debt ceiling until January 1, 2025, this Wednesday. The debt ceiling establishes a limit to how much the treasury can borrow to fulfill the country’s financial obligations, “including Social Security and Medicare benefits, military salaries, interest on the national debt, tax refunds, and other payments,” Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen explained.

Last Friday, December 27, Yellen warned Congress that the country will likely hit the debt ceiling between January 14 and January 23. The Treasury can resort to extraordinary measures to pay obligations, but if it is to keep the country functioning, the incoming Congress must raise the debt ceiling. That will not be easy.

And here are the future “guilty parties” weighing in on their love for Reverend Mike in the past few days:

Thomas “Machine Gun” Massie: “I respect and support President Trump, but his endorsement of Mike Johnson is going to work out about as well as his endorsement of Speaker Paul Ryan. We’ve seen Johnson partner with the democrats to send money to Ukraine, authorize spying on Americans, and blow the budget. For months Democrats ignored the fact that Joe Biden was a potato. They convinced themselves that keeping him around was the pragmatic way to win the day. Too late did they admit the emperor had no clothes. Republicans are doing the same thing by keeping Speaker Johnson.” Everybody’s pretty certain he’s a definite Uh-Uh.

Victoria “I don’t really want to work in Congress” Spartz: “I understand why President Trump is endorsing Speaker Johnson as he did Speaker Ryan. However, we still need to get assurances that Speaker Johnson won’t sell us out to the swamp. Donald Trump endorsed Paul Ryan and John McCain. Trump will be able to save America only if we have a speaker with courage, vision and a plan, which I have not seen from our current Speaker despite countless discussions and public promises.”

Andy Biggs: “I haven’t publicly or privately committed yet. I do want to speak with the Speaker just to see what his plans are, because there are some issues that I think we need to work out.”

Scott Perry: “What members are seeking is what they think is best for the country, and they don’t see, in some cases, where Speaker Johnson has led us to a place where we can claim we have achieved that.” (Said before Felon34's announcement)

Kevin Hern: “We’ll see what transpires.”

Andy Harris: Says he has been assured that Johnson had been put on notice to “stop making backroom deals with Hakeem Jeffries’”or he will be removed after he is elected. (This would make things a lot of fun this spring when the debt limit comes knocking)

Lauren Boebert, professional juvenile delinquent: “There has been a lot of conversation going on and that’s fine - MAGA are the winners and we need to set our governing agenda. Nothing wrong with healthy debate, but I sure hope we’re all ready to WIN now!”

Greg Steube: “Dear Floridian, Do you think Mike Johnson should remain House Speaker?” (In an email to constituents)

James Comer: “We have five Republicans that won’t commit to voting for Mike Johnson - and he can only lose one or two votes. It’s terrible. I strongly encourage Trump to get on the phone with those 5-6 members.”

Elon Musk to Johnson: “You have my full support!”

Chip Roy just announced this morning that “I don’t believe he has the votes.”

This is their fight; Democrats are going to follow Napoleon’s maxim: “Never interfere with an enemy who is defeating himself.”

Invest. In. Popcorn. Futures.

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